Hecklerspray is so poor it can't even afford paper plates. That's why this week, in its New York, Los Angeles and Rigby, Idaho offices, everyone's gonna try to somehow wrap their keyboards with enough paper towels and Saran Wrap to be able to use them as food platters. Believe it or not this works pretty good except for soup.
We did the keyboard thing last year too, but it was our first time and it didn't work so well. A pickle got wedged next to our exclamation point key, and we only got it out a month ago. That was like 11 months of apparent rage – we really weren't half as impassioned as we came across. Honest.
Someone who is that impassioned, apparently, is Miley Cyrus. She sees Britney Spears flailing all about publicly and whatnot, and she's gonna fix it. With turkey gravy. Because Britney Spears is going to Miley's for Thanksgiving dinner. Sounds like a fine idea until Hannah Montana's dad walks in and sees his daughter tricked into licking Cranberry sauce off an attention-starved Spears' squishy abs.
Brit'll be on her own this Christmas. Yup.
According to TMZ:
Popwreck Britney Spears was at Petco yesterday, when a reporter asked her if she will be dining at Miley Cyrus' house for Thanksgiving, and Britney said yes. For the love of Hannah Montana!
Apparently is was Cyrus senior – the Billy one – who did the inviting, in his exact words:
We love her. We would love to be there for you and we care about you.
That sounds nice. We love her too, you know. Well, not quite as much as that sissy in the blanket-fort , but a touch more than K-Fed ever did. That's why if dinner at Miley's turns totally lame, like if they make her wear underpants or try to obtain a court ordered urine sample, she is welcome to celebrate the holiday with hecklerspray.
Keep in mind Brits, TG-dinner with the h-spray isn't traditional by any stretch of the imagination. Sure you still have stuffing, bird and taters – but we also have Bruce. He's from the mail room and last year he dressed like a giant roast turkey – oh Bruce! Barb, the lush from marketing, actually took three chunks out of him before she figured out it was a costume. Squirting blood has never been so funny.
The crying though, well that was a touch depressing.
Mark Lamarr says
Superb headline. Not so keen on the article.