God, is American Idol still going? Yeesh. We want it to end now. And it’s not just us – Simon Cowell does too.
Or we assume he does, based on his pissy demeanour throughout last night’s American Idol. Last night, faced with the nightmarish proposition of Kris Allen singing One Republic, Adam Lambert singing U2 and – God help us all – Danny Gokey singing scat, Simon Cowell decided that the best way to get through American Idol was by being an arsehole.
We’re not making that up. Danny Gokey sang scat. Frankly we’re surprised Simon Cowell didn’t punch anyone in the face.
This season of American Idol has been going on since approximately the actual dawn of bloody man, so naturally people have their own personal endurance limits when it comes to watching it. We, for instance, tend to get sick of American Idol during the first tenth of the first second of the first promo announcing the first episode of the season. But that’s just us.
For others it’s the interminable doldrums of the American Idol mid-section where the public hacks away week after week at mediocre nobodies like what’s his name and whojammacallit and it doesn’t seem to make a blind bit of difference to the number of remaining contestants. And then there’s Simon Cowell, whose own personal endurance gave up the ghost during last night’s American Idol.
And for good reason, too. Last night the remaining three American Idol contestants were put through Judge’s Choice night, where each of the American Idol judges picked songs for the performers – with the exception of Randy Jackson because the song he chose, a ditty called Woo Dog Dog Dog Baby Dog Baby Hollywood Baby Dog Dog, doesn’t actually seem to exist.
Anyway, long story short, Kara DioGuardi made Kris Allen sing Apologize by One Republic. And that’s bad enough – Apologize is the sort of song that’s popular with people who don’t actually like music and just want a background noise to block out the voices in their head telling them to hurt themselves – but then Kara decided to criticise the song choice afterwards, which set Simon Cowell off on a stroppy little rampage:
“It’s a copout. … You can’t choose a song for him then blame him for doing the song,” Cowell said. “You didn’t hold up to your responsibility.” “You’re gonna tell me about interpreting songs?” DioGuardi shot back. “Have you ever interpreted a song in your life?”
As for the other American Idol contestants, Adam Lambert sang One by U2 on Simon’s say-so and Cryin’ by Aerosmith, which largely sounded identical to One by U2 and Cryin’ by Aerosmith except higher-pitched and creepier. Also, Danny Gokey, knowing that he had some way to go to top his off-kilter screeching last week, took on a Terence Trent D’Arby song that required him to a) dance and b) go “Doo-be-doop-ba-doob-a-dee-dwoop” like a hateful little tossbag.
So who’ll be eliminated from American Idol tomorrow? Honestly, we couldn’t care less. But we’d quite like it if an audience member could keep poking Simon Cowell in the back of the head with a stick until he lashes out and stabs someone, please.
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Pat Schubert says
You’re right on! This season has been so full of- “you picked the wrong song” and childish interaction between two of the judges, Simon wearing his white undershirt in an “I don’t give a damn and don’t respect you-the contestant-or the show” , and blatant favoritism. We will be glad when it’s over! We have said all along that if the judges don’t like the song choice or arrangement, they should choose the songs-and even when they did last night, they had only criticism for the 3 contestants. We think the some of the judges are burned out.
PhDude says
Adam is AMAZING@! He is so talented and has entertained us all season. He has earned the Idol crown. Vote Adam@!
I am also proud of Adam because I work for the VA and while Adam was home he went to Miramar to sing for the troops and their families. He also visited the kids at his high school drama and signing departments and went back to the performing arts center where he started performing. He is truly the most talented and should win American Idol Vote Adam!
TheDude says
Adam the most talented? You can’t be serious, unless by “talented” you mean “biggest emo-douche” than yeah….he is the most “talented”
SallyLovesYou says
He is totally not a douche, more of a sissified nancy-boy.
I love how he screams in tune so well, it totally reminds me of every 80’s hair band lead singer (he is so relevant)
old rocker says
You have been on every bolg on the net with the same comment!! Adam does rock!
why says
Adam blows!!! Anyone can do his stupid screaming. This year’s American Idol has been a BIG let down. I have yet to see anyone come close to Kelly Clarkston with the exception of Tamya Gray, and Carrie Underwood. I put Adam in the same catagory as “Taylor Hicks” (Soul Patrol… woooo hooo..) lame-ass talent.
why says
You hit the “hammer” on the “head of the nail” wirth that one 100%
why says
“screams in tune so well” Huh????? Sounds like an oxymoron. Never knew screaming could involve talentness.
Sarah says
Adam is the most talented, gracious, and charismatic man to ever step onto the idol stage! For all the haters who want to complain about his “screaming” you really ought to stop because the notes that Adam can reach are breath-taking and exciting to his millions of fans worldwide. You wanna hear some real screeching? Why don’t you just take a little listen to Karaokee Gokey’s slaughtering of “Dream On.” Don’t lie, I know you muted the TV on that horror movie imitation coming out from that smug, geeky, old guy.
cuz says
This year has many more singers that can actually sing then any season in the past. Adam “blows”??? blows away the competition. Final three are exceptional singers, all having their own uniqueness that separates one from the other. At this point it doesn’t really matter who wins, as they technically have all won. At this point in the competition, you can’t compare them yet to those that have turned successful, such as Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. Look back at the first American Idol, and you will see Kelly Clarkson really wasn’t that good. Good luck to the final three, they are all very good!
Jack says
If anybody can scream…why can’t dokey or whatever his name is….I believe the proper term is vocal belting.
MIKE says
Danny Gokey gone? He
MontyG says
Adam has mad skills. His voice reminds me of the 80s metal legends, but he also can rock a song from Smokey Robinson-what more do you need in an American Idol. I however give Chris props for his unique renditions of songs- he could definitely make an album and be successful if he blows his nose and gets rid of the insipid nasal sound. Go away Gokey or do I mean Taylor/Rubin/Fantasia/Jordan- all obvious bad choices- let’s hope America gets it right and doesn’t have a repeat of the year Chris Daughtry (the most talented idol yet)was voted off.
kaname kuran says
i really love you adam!!!!!!!!!!!!!