Everyone’s known that Wesley Snipes is a bad man ever since he was convicted for, um, you know, something about taxes and money and whatever.
And because of this, Wesley Snipes was supposed to hand himself over to federal officials next month so he could start his three-year jail sentence for whatever that thing was about taxes that he apparently did. But not so fast – Wesley Snipes isn’t going down without a fight! He’s been granted bail pending an appeal of his conviction.
This could mean that Wesley Snipes might avoid jail completely, although this really is his last pitch for freedom so he needs to give the appeal his absolute all. And you know what that means, Wesley? No more getting rambling boneheaded character witness statements from Woody Harrelson? OK, Wesley? Not even one. Promise us, it’s important.
Wesley Snipes is obviously an intelligent man – after all, he saw the potential in notorious career-hobbling flop Money Train when everyone around him was saying that it was an awful piece of shit – and this is a theory he proved time and time again during his recent tax-dodge trial.
Accused of not filing any tax returns between 1999 and 2001 – apparently gypping the American government out of enough money to buy a really very massive bomb or something in the process – Wesley Snipes always remained calm, rational and able to convince Denzel Washington to compare him to a tree in print whenever he wanted to.
Not that it worked, though – last month Wesley Snipes was sentenced to three years in jail for his crimes, and everyone packed away their Passenger 57 Original Soundtrack cassettes and hunkered down in the knowledge that the earliest we’d ever see White Men Can’t Jump 2: Nope, Still Not Great With The Jumping Thing would be some time after the year 2011. Wesley Snipes, it seemed, was done for.
Except actually he wasn’t – because once again Wesley Snipes is a free man. For a while. Until he gets an appeal, at least. Reuters reports:
Snipes’ lawyers and court officials in Ocala, Florida, said a judge had granted a request by the star of the “Blade” movie series to remain free on bond while he tries to overturn his federal tax convictions. U.S. District Judge William Terrell Hodges wrote that he was “dubious” of Snipes appeal arguments. In arguments for bail, his lawyers wrote that Snipes was “actively engaged in resolving his liabilities with the IRS civilly” and a meeting with the agency was scheduled for next week.
It would seem, then, that Wesley Snipes’ appeal will involve him throwing wads of money at the IRS and screaming “Jesus, I’m sorry, OK? I’m SORRY! Sheesh!”
Which, you have to admit, is more constructive than anything Wesley Snipes did during his main trial – where his arguments ranged from how he wasn’t actually a citizen of America but he just happened to live there and used its stuff all the time to how the IRS doesn’t actually exist like everyone says it does. And he got convicted for that. We know. Crazy.
Good luck, Wesley Snipes – the wishes of all rubbishy direct-to-DVD movie fans are with you.
Read more:
Wesley Snipes gets bail pending appeal in tax case – Reuters
Joe says
I noticed you guys coming down on Wesley, but I don’t hear a peep out of people like you when it comes guys like Roman Polanski (accused of statutory rape and fled to France to avoid jail), Robert “Beretta” Blake (accused of killing his wife and got off), Phil Specter (who killed the B-movie actress in his home), and of course the entire Bush Administration (no need to mention the crimes they’ve done). I wonder, is it because their skin color is not as dark as Mr. Snipes?
Ed says
What a lame, uneducated attempt to impose your bullshit liberal nonsense. The story is about Wesley Snipes. If you want to read about the Bush administration, go look up the fucking Bush administration. Quit whining…
lilkunta says
IT is over 1 yr later…so he aint going 2 jail? Has he even started 2 pay back the taxes? Im watching tv & he is on there leaaving the King MJ memorial. WTF?
boboj says
Snipes is another glaring example of how the blackface in the US can tell the government to go fu*k itself and if challenged simply uses the now age-old black response of “racism”. What this nation needs is to put these folks on the even playing table where, if you break the law you pay the price, there ain’t no racism, no persecution, no discrimination, just scoflaws who need to spend a little time at the expense of the taxpayers, all the while learning what being someone’s “bitch” in the bighouse is. Then they can see just how tough and cool they are!!!!!
tate says
Screwing teeny boppers and killing wives and bimbos is one thing… but you don’t mess around with uncle sam.
virgolady says
I love your mind, Joe…….BRAVO!
Me says
Do you think Nicholas Cage will go to jail for the $6.3 million he owes IRS?
snipes in the night says
dont care snipes should just do some high kick action at the trial beating whoever is against him for his defense. im a fan i dont care as long as he makes other movies.
Me says
Well the phrase “hit ’em where it hurts” comes to mind. You know that if he owes back taxes he will pay addition fees to the IRS. Stupid people say ‘he shouldn’t stay out of jail just because he’s rich’ or ‘they want to put a black man in jail to make an example of him’. It’s nonsense (no sense) not being sensible. This is about money. Period. #1 If he pays what he owes, plus the fines for owing back taxes why the hell would they want to give him the maximum prison time they could come up with? #2 if USA law allows someone who is not a flight risk to be out on bail while appealing, why is that special treatment? Hello? Who would want that changed? What about if it was you? This case in not cleaning up the back owes taxes in america… move on the the next guy/company who still owes taxes. This isn’t just about Wesley Snipes, if he was in jail instead of just paying up and going back to work and thus contributing to society, what about everyone else who’s rotting in jail instead of going back to their lives. Jail is not an answer to anything. Obviously murderers and rapists should be locked up… but the IRS whining that they are collectively the victim?! Call up Obama an suggest they stop spending billions every month killing people on the other side of the world. This tax evasion is a crime without a victim, let him pay and then shut the hell up. I have always been Republican and raised Republican; guess what? America is murdering people by the thousand every day. I don’t want to hear about how Snipes should go to prison for a hundred years over this f’n b.s.
American Taxpayer says
The bloodsuckers from the IRS came after me for a lousy $4000 and threatened to take my house away but yet this dreg called Snipes screwed the IRS and the rest of us taxpayers out of millions in unpaid taxes and he’s out walking around free as a bird for a couple years now! WTF!!! I say it’s time to lock his a$$ up and toss the key!
artis moore says
Wesley is black and an actor. He will never go to jail. Enough said.
Ashleigh Howard says
I would not like to see Snipes do jail time for three years of back taxes but I wouldn’t say it could never happen because he is black and a celebrity. Especially because he is black and a celebrity, the special enhancement of the prison experience IN ADDITION to a full repayment of all taxes plus penalties and interest would be extracted. I have friends (white) who owed the IRS over a million dollars before penalites. They were able to get away with paying back 200 Grand. Back in my youth I had a summer job off the books and my employer later got in trouble and put my earnings on a 1099. Two thousand dollars. I (black) paid every cent of $15,000 in taxes, penalties and interest despite repeated appeals. At least I didn’t go to jail.
Margarita says
Puff, yes I’m smoking. I feel some real insight coming on. Let me tell you how it is, Dear Wesley if you had taken care of this when it all started you would be getting out about now. Oh poor thing, it will just never end :( O. K. ?
Margarita says
Dear Me, if Nicholas Cage ever goes to jail, not to worry. I will personally brake him out.
Paul Dio says
ED: I think your the scare crow in OZ… I have a friend that did not file for ten years and got a tax Attorney and had to file 0 on his w-2 until his taxes are paid. It BS to make example out of famous people or any one. The crime should be the same for everyone.