Wesley Snipes’ Chums Try To Keep Him Out Of Jail

There’s a good chance that Wesley Snipes will be sent to jail for three years today - but not if the bald bloke from Cheers has any say-so.

In a final desperate bid to wriggle out of a jail sentence after being found guilty of tax fraud, Wesley Snipes has enlisted the help of two of his most famous friends - Denzel Washington and Woody Harrleson - to write character witness statements pleading with the judge to let Snipes keep his freedom.

It might just work - the naturally-authoritative Washington appeals to the judge’s sense of leniency by referring to Snipes in his letter as ‘a mighty oak’. Harrelson, meanwhile, has just drawn a big picture of a happy cat in wax crayon on his, and then written ‘I like kitons’ underneath it. Might help.

There’s a chance that the next time you see Wesley Snipes he’ll have a brand-new Islamic name, a messy tattoo on the side of his arm and the sorrowful expression of a man who’s seen another man crap in his pants for sport. That’s because Wesley Snipes could be going to jail later today.

As you may know, Wesley Snipes is going through some tax troubles at the moment. The disagreement is actually quite simple - Wesley Snipes says it’s OK that he didn’t pay tax for a bunch of years because he doesn’t recognise the IRS as a proper government agency, and the government says that Wesley Snipes is a massive dick and should go to jail. Oddly enough, the government won the disagreement.

After being found guilty of not filing tax returns for three years, Wesley Snipes now faces a three-year jail sentence. That’s bad enough for us - we want to see Passenger 58 get made so badly it makes us cry - but it’s even worse for Wesley Snipes, who’ll miss everything from the South African World Cup to the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation forum in Singapore while he’s behind bars.

And it looks like there’s no avoiding it, either. There’s literally nothing that any normal person can do to stop Wesley Snipes from going to jail. But Wesley Snipes has some friends who aren’t normal. Wesley Snipes has some friends who are better than normal. Wesley Snipes have some friends who are… famous.

And between them, Wesley Snipes is hoping that Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson will be able to sway the judge. According to documents published by TMZ, Denzel Washington says that Wesley Snipes is:

Like a tree - a mighty oak. He stands for so many, “like a tree, planted by streams of water with leaves that do not wither.” Many who know him have witnessed the fruits of his labours, have sat in his shade and even been protected by his presence. I am proud of him, proud to call him a fellow thespian and most importantly, proud to call him my friend.

Stirring, poetic stuff there, even if the whole tree analogy started wearing thin by the time Denzel started banging on about eating Wesley Snipes’ fruit. But full marks for effort. And what about Woody Harrelson? How has he chosen to try and stage a last-minute big for his friend’s freedom?

My first movie was also his first movie, Wildcats with Goldie Hawn. Both of us were 23 and our birthdays are only one week apart.

Christ. See you in 2011, Wesley.

Read more:

Celebs Sign Up as Snipers - TMZ