We’d always assumed that one of the basic edicts of life was that nobody really likes The Stereophonics very much.
Sure, people might listen to Stereophonics in their cars occasionally, but that doesn’t mean they’re fans of Stereophonics – just that they want to drown out the sound of the crying kidnapped baby they’ve locked in their boot and it’s the only thing they could find.
However, we could have been wrong. Wayne Rooney likes Stereophonics. Wayne Rooney likes Stereophonics so much that he’s had one of their album titles tattooed down his arm. That album, by the way, is Just Enough Education To Perform rather than… oh, let’s not pretend we can remember what any Stereophonics albums are called, shall we?
Tattoos are such a minefield, aren’t they? Get one on your lower back and everyone will think you’re a slut. Ask for one that says ‘peace’ in Indian and you run the risk of having the Indian word for ‘wanker’ tattooed on you by an artist who knows you’ll never find out. Get one of Girls Aloud and, well, you are a wanker.
But Wayne Rooney knows this. Not only is Wayne Rooney old and wise enough to make his own decisions – although the bulk of those decisions admittedly do revolve around having sex with really old hookers – but his new wife is also a columnist in a downmarket women’s magazine, so she’s probably been on a training course about ill-advised tattoos as well or something.
No, when it comes to tattoos Wayne Rooney if effortlessly well-informed and… what? Wayne Rooney’s done what? Of The Stereophonics? Oh dear christ, that sounds awful. The Telegraph reports:
The Manchester United and England star has had “Just Enough Education To Perform” etched on his right forearm. The line is the title of an album by his favourite band, The Stereophonics. The football star is such a fan of The Stereophonics that McLoughlin arranged for them to give a surprise performance during the couple’s week-long wedding celebrations in Italy last month.
Ah, do you see? The tattoo has multiple meanings. ‘Just Enough Education To Perform’ refers to Wayne Rooney’s own life – he left school without any GCSEs – plus it’s also a way of saying that Wayne Rooney really really likes Stereophonics and therefore wouldn’t know what decent music sounds like if it punched him in his big stupid face.
But still, Wayne Rooney’s the one who has to spend the rest of his life looking at the tattoo, not us, so as long as he’s happy with it there shouldn’t be a problem.
Although we do think it would have been more sensible if Wayne had got a tattoo with a functional message that helped his memory instead – something like ‘Don’t Eat Crayons’ or ‘Old Ladies Aren’t Sexually Attractive’.
stereophobia says
You are jealous. Go and w..k off to Collen’s pictures or something men and stop whining about Rooney’s Tattoo. Stereophonics are a fantastic band with a huge fan base by the way. They don’t have 6 number one albums for nothing. George Bush can have black sabbath tattoo on in a.s for all I care!
tattoo says
I used to go to same school as wayne rooney and in the same year as him. He was a wrongen then and he still is now.
clare says
Your just a ignorant twat.
grace says
i fucking hate you.
grace says
like, so much.
matthew says
wtf stereophonics are a brilliant band, but wayne rooney is a bit of a twat