Jesse Metcalfe Gets The World’s Crappest Girls Aloud Tattoo

Nobody has a harder life than Jesse Metcalfe out of Desperate Housewives. Sure, he's got money and fame and good looks, but how would you like it if the only way you could get a girlfriend was to tattoo her tits onto your arm?

Jesse Metcalfe, the boy from Desperate Housewives who looks like a robot, has been enjoying an on/off love affair with Nadine Coyle, the one from Girls Aloud who actually gets to sing sometimes, for the past God knows how long. And, to be honest, the relationship between Jesse Metcalfe and Nadine Coyle is on and off so much that people have just stopped caring, not least because they're both so unfamous that people have to always explain who they are before discussing them. Anyway, it would seem as if Jesse Metcalfe and Nadine Coyle are on again, because Jesse Metcalfe has just got a hugely tasteless tattoo of Nadine Coyle with her bangers on display and her heart ripped out, almost identical to the one hecklerspray has of Lee Ryan on our buttocks.

Tattoos mean different things depending on gender. For men, tattoos say 'I am strong and dangerous' and for women tattoos either say 'I will sleep with you without much persuasion' or 'I work at at funfair.' Since we're pretty sure that Jesse Metcalfe's genital area is smooth and plastic like a Ken doll, his gender still has to be determined so we're not sure what his new tattoo is supposed to represent.

That's because Jesse Metcalfe, who played the teenage gardener cyborg who had sex with Eva Longoria a lot on Desperate Housewives but never convinced her to remove her bra, has a new tattoo of Nadine Coyle from the sadly still together Girls Aloud. A tattoo of Nadine Coyle naked and with her heart ripped out. That he probably got on one of his crazy nights out. Classy. MTV reports:

The Desperate Housewives star has revealed a MASSIVE tattoo of a naked Nadine Coyle- from Girls Aloud- on his upper arm. And the actor said it was his dream for the couple, who broke up last April, to get back together again. The image shows Nadine with a ripped out heart in front of a rising sun in the shape of Ireland. Jesse says he got the tattoo of his on/ off girlfriend as a reminder not to get his heart broken and to literally wear his heart on his sleeve.Well if reports are accurate it seems like the tattoo has had the desired affect as Nicola Roberts from the girl group let it slip in an interview that the couple are in fact dating again.

At least that gives Girls Aloud something to talk about other than how Lily Allen looks like a transsexual. So, anyway, Jesse Metcalfe and Nadine Coyle are back together again. Woo. But let's hope that Jesse Metcalfe learns from history's mistakes. After all, the last celebrity to get a tattoo of a lover was Mel B, so if Jesse's not careful Nadine will get him pregnant and then dump him on TV if he don't stay keeping her right.

But still, even though just about every news source on the face of the planet has openly mocked Jesse Metcalfe's ridiculous tattoo of Nadine Coyle's boobs for being immature, tasteless and amateurish, but it could have been a lot worse.

It could have been a tattoo of the ginger one. 

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Metcalfe's Shocking Tattoo - MTV