Victoria Beckham Officially ‘Boring, Rude Bitch’

Victoria Beckham America Rude Bitch TV ShowYou know what our dear old grandad used to say about life? He told us "you only get what you give." Or maybe it was "you only get what opportunities are afforded to you by your socio-economic background." One or the other.

Anyway, the gist of the message was that – to make it anywhere in this crazy old world of ours – it's always a good idea to be nice to people. Take that incident with hecklerspray and the postman, for example. If we hadn't been so consistently charming to him over the years, he would probably have reported those 'special' magazines we had delivered to the relevant local authorities. Yes, siree – being friendly sure does pay off.

Not that anyone has ever told Victoria Beckham this.

Victoria Beckham – a woman famous for a) singing and dancing a bit in a silly 90s pop group, and b) marrying a man so astonishingly stupid he seems like he's been possessed by a retarded ghost – is presently trying to make it big in the States. How? By launching an all-action reality TV show which follows her as she, um, walks around and buys things. And stuff.

Staff at NBC, however, have so far shown themselves to be less than impressed with Victoria Beckham's attitude. An insider revealed:

"We think she's full of herself and not very nice. She's very picky, demanding and rude. And she was mean to the assistants, too. She waltzes around with her icy attitude. People will walk up to her and say, 'Welcome to America', or, 'Good luck with the move', and she doesn't even stop to talk to them. The show is designed to make her a star in the States, but she's dreaming if she thinks that's going to happen. She's coming off as a grade-A bitch! No one knows what to do with her to make the show interesting – she's so boring! Every suggestion the producers make, she rejects."  

Christ – what is it with 90s Brit pop stars and their failure to crack America?

First the Gallagher Brothers discovered that the patented Oasis formula (blaring out songs that sound like they're being wailed through a letterbox by a man in a tracksuit) didn't quite enthral the Yanks, then gurney-faced drug addict Robbie Williams came to the humbling realisation that his breed of half-baked cack wasn't going to set the States alight. Posh Spice, it would seem, is on the verge of filling in her membership card and joining the club.

Unless the producers do manage to come up with some interesting ideas for the show. Like an episode in which Vicky-babes has the word 'idiot' forcibly tattooed on her forehead, before she is then thrown onto a rusty bicycle and chased around Los Angeles by a pack of genetically engineered spider-dogs, all the while screaming '"'m so  very sorry for every facet of my existence" to bewildered passers-by.

Or something.

Read More:

Victoria Beckham Branded Bitch By Production Team – EntertainmentWise 

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Comments

  1. Linda Lower says

    If you believe this story, you’ll believe anything. The same British tabloid magazine that printed these allegations claimed the show was cancelled last week! And the show is being made by 19TV and then being sold to NBC, so I don’t know where they get the claim from that NBC producers and assistants are working on the show.

    As a matter of fact, Victoria Beckham already cracked America with the Spice Girls in the late 90s and she is in all the major magazines in the US now, people are always quick to undermine her because they don’t want to concede that she is doing well. Just this month alone she is featured in the highly prestigious W magazine in the US and the Beckhams haven’t even moved to LA yet.

  2. el says

    “marrying a man so astonishingly stupid he seems like he’s been possessed by a retarded ghost”

    I don’t care if the article is true or not, that is the best line ever written about Becks!!

  3. Euclid says

    Poor lass.

    Yes, she successfully cracked the USA
    as part of the Space Girls, but her market
    was exclusively 12 year-old girls. Not 10, not 14, 12.
    Anyhow, they’ve grown up a bit and rather oddly
    those Space Girl records aren’t getting the airplay they used to.
    Imagine that. Fickle public. Today’s 12 year-olds (her
    only hope for future fame and fortune) have so many new, fresh,
    young faces to sell them crap that they are unlikely to
    follow VBs every move quite the way she might hope.

    A bitter pill, indeed.

    Other career opportunities include being the dim witted, fading
    eye candy on a talent show panel, but without her shell of a man
    next to her, the incessant interruptions of people asking
    “Who the hell are you, anyway?” or “Who did you used to be?”
    might get in the way of the show’s dramatic arc.
    That’s a quandary.

    So, we are left with the unsightly spectacle of someone of dubious talents
    (and believe me, there are plenty of people around her who have been
    searching desparately for something, anything, that she can do so they can
    cash in on her fading fame) used to the loving glow of the public eye
    and seemingly unaware of its propensity for looking the other way, desparately
    searching for any opportunity to recapture some small fragment of her former glory.

    She, like all allegedly talented former sensations, has only the prospect of
    an endless series of degradations toward which we the fickle public will
    likely respond with growing indifference then ultimately irritation and ridicule.
    It would seem that once you sell your soul and self esteem to the public,
    you are forever wed to their opinion of you for your self worth. If they (we) cease
    to care, you cease to be.

    Which means that the best thing she could do for herself is accept
    that its over and reinvent herself (perhaps as Matron Spice or Charwoman Spice
    or IntergalacticCrimeFighter Spice) or, even better, cultivate a personality
    with which she can confront her remaining years on the planet with dignity and
    some degree of equanimity. Somewhat like the rest of us, but with
    millions of dollars. As a human being, I hope she can. As a
    consumer of pop garbage I hope that she struggles publicly against the
    inevitable in as outlandish a fashion as possible because that
    is much more entertaining. Did someone say mud-wrestling? Most definitely.

  4. Gilbert Wham says

    Face it, she’s fucked. Beckham’s fucked for that matter. Going to the States to play the football you play with your feet? Suicide. Not that I care about football, just sayin’.

  5. Pauline Row says

    The story was completely made up, and Bang Showbiz has retracted the story and apologised to Victoria. She has not even started filming her NBC show yet, nor has she met the crew yet.

    So sad for some people who believe everything they read.

  6. Marianne says

    She is still with her “idiot” husband who got caught cheating on her more than once (and that is not made up). Who is the biggest idiot?

    Victoria is a bigger idiot than her cheating husband, but the biggest idiots of all are the ones who buy the story that those two are in love and the best couple around. Grow a brain people.

  7. Johnny B says

    Who gives a shit? They’re just people like you or me! Articles like this wouldn’t be written if people didn’t actually invest their time and energy in giving a holy hell.

  8. Estelle says

    This article was beyond idiotic.
    The Spice Girls were and still are the fastest selling British band in the USA since the Beatles. They have the record for highest ever debut chart position in the US by a British band beating the previous record held by the Beatles and sold almost 70million records making them the best selling Girl Group of all time. The demand for their first two albums in the US was unprecedented and are the two best selling albums OF ALL TIME by a female group! They have sold out huge US arenas like Madison Sq gardens in minutes time and time again.
    Bands today would KILL to have the success the Spice Girls had in the USA! a generation of 20somethings in the US grew up with the Spice Girls as thier first music idols and know exactly who Posh Spice is! As well as Scary, Ginger, Baby and Sporty! You cannot compare the phenomenal success they had in the 90′s to the laughable attempts made by people like Robbie Williams and Oasis who never made any impact in the US market. The Spice Girls were literally the biggest band in the world for a few years in the 90′s which is not so easily forgotten by the kids who grew up idolizing them.
    Laugable article.

  9. Eddyo says

    I’m getting so tired of this, don’t you?
    Cut the crap people let’s face it:
    In the Spice Girls, Victoria is okay, and cool.
    Outside the Spice Girls, Posh, just sucks.
    So Vic., everybody buy’s normal clothes, just support your kids, and get back in that group!