It's nice to see that Bono and U2 aren't exclusively worried about Third World debt and world peace – they're just as worried about their lovely hat collection, and if you try to take a U2 hat then U2 will fight you to the letter of the law over it.
And U2 will win, too, if their epic legal battle with former stylist Lola Cashman is anything to go by. U2 claimed that Lola Cashman stole one of Bono's cowboy hats from them, while Cashman claimed that it was just a gift. And after more legal wrangling than you could possibly imagine, a court has told Lola Cashman to give the hat back to Bono. Next up, U2 should go after stylist who designed the costumes for their Popmart tour. Not because they stole anything, though – because they made U2 look like even bigger pricks than usual.
U2 are one of those bands that defy explanation. We all know they're a middle-aged group of rubbishy, pompous, dull musicians rotating between their setlist of three songs in a heinously self-important way, but people still pay loads of money to see their concerts, take the time to vote their lyrics as good and buy special iPods because they've seen Bono go "Doo doo doo" on an advert. In this sense U2 are beyond criticism.
That is, except when you talk about U2's hat collection. Because hats are like Kryptonite to U2. As super-cool and aloof U2 may seem onstage, if you try and take one of their hats they'll start screaming and wailing like a big bunch of blousey girls. We knew U2 had this in them – Bono famously paid for a first-class air ticket just for his hat once – but all suspicions were confirmed when U2 took an old stylist to court 17 months ago for allegedly nicking a U2 hat and some other U2 nick-nacks that she thought were gifts from the band. It wasn't just any old hat, mind you – it was the stetson hat that Bono used in 1987 to hide his receding hairline cement his iconic status. After a lengthy court battle, U2 eventually won back their stuff.
That's not the end of the story, though; Lola Cashman appealed against the court's ruling and Bono had to go back to a special hat court – well, the high court – and beg about getting his special hat back. And today a judge finally decided that, yes, Bono and U2 could finally get their stuff back from Lola Cashman. BBC News reports:
Rock group U2 have won a legal battle against their former stylist, forcing her to hand over a cowboy hat and clothes she took from them in 1987… The possessions were estimated to be valued at 5,000 euros (£3,400). U2 had been fighting with Ms Cashman over the ownership of a Stetson hat, a pair of metal hooped earrings, a green sweatshirt and a pair of black trousers. They were also trying to retrieve a number of other items which had been seen in her flat, including a video tape and monitor, rosary beads and hundreds of photographs.
We're sure you're all breathing a sigh of relief that this exhausting U2 hat saga is over, and are just as excited as us about Bono's latest decision to start a charitable foundation to aid all spoilt millionaire rock bands who may have had inconsequential headwear go missing over the last 19 years. We hear Bill Gates is onboard with funding.
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sdc says
oh brother, here we are again, the hat and the pants, u2 has nothing else, but complain about items that happen years ago, get over it u2 . you all need to grow up, i used to like but not anymore. they just like to ruin innocent lives.
Wadey says
So this is a “win” forfxxxxake this is the final nail in their coffin. Tossers.