Has there ever been a movie as hotly-anticipated as Live Free Or Die Hard? Come on, who doesn't want to see a movie about a bald old man in a dirty vest fighting against an internet spod for two hours?
OK; so Live Free Or Die Hard has roughly zero good things going for it – Bruce Willis is mostly famous these days for being the voice of a cheeky animated raccoon, it's being directed by the hack who did the Underworld films, there's nothing duller than films about hackers and it's got a crap title – but, hey, at least we now know that Maggie Q and Justin Long are going to be in Live Free Or Die Hard. Now, if we just knew who either of those people were…
There's a weird trend at the moment for tired old action movie stars to keep revisiting their most famous creations and, to be honest, it freaks us out a bit. We can see that Sylvester Stallone returning to make Rocky Balboa works as a sort of allegory of the actor's own life, and nobody would turn down the chance to go and see Indiana Jones 4, but there's also a lot crap on the way. Anything you liked about The Terminator is probably about to be smashed into dust by the filming of The Terminator: The Boring Cheapo TV Show, and the world needs another Rambo film like it needs the hits of The Cheeky Girls to be constantly played on an ear-splitting loop by a squadron of low-flying airships.
And then there's Die Hard 4, or – to use its lousy full title – Live Free Or Die Hard. Any excitement that may have come with rumours of Die Hard 4, like speculation about how Bruce Willis would kill the smarmy British actor villain at the end of the film, were immediately crushed when we found out that Live Free Or Die Hard would be about Bruce Willis fighting with an evil internet hacker. Forget shoving Alan Rickman off the top of a skyscraper; in Live Free Or Die Hard, chances are that the Big Finale would be John McClane pushing a teenager off a bed and telling him he's not allowed to watch his Buffy The Vampire Slayer DVDs for a month.
But at least we know who's going to be in Live Free Or Die Hard with Bruce Willis now. While we though – going on past star and director form – that Live Free Or Die Hard would either star a werewolf in a catsuit or a bunch of pesky woodland creatures determined to steal a pie from a kitchen shelf, it turns out that Live Free Or Die Hard will actually star Justin Long and Maggie Q. Who?
Well, Justin Long was the cheerleader boy in Dodgeball, and will play the boy who shows Bruce Willis that ctrl/alt/del often works just as well as blowing up computers with a can of petrol and a bazooka if they freeze up. Meanwhile, Maggie Q – last seen wearing nice clothes in Mission: Impossible III – has signed on to play a hacker who 'bumps heads' with Bruce Willis.
Now all that's left to be cast is the headstrong police captain who shouts Bruce Willis down all the time, the evil and slightly Arabic-looking villain and a cute kid who hilariously knows more about computers than anyone else and Live Free or Die Hard is a real film, baby!
Read more:
Die Hard Sequel Gets Long, Q – Zap2It
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Robin says
Hey, isn’t Justin Long the guy who plays the Mac in those slightly gay Apple Mac TV commercials? This strikes me as somewhat ironic.
Alan Spicer says
The movie was good. Bruce Willis acting is always good. It’s your writing on this web site that sucks. You keep reprising Die Hard but you don’t have a clue. I hope you are not still writing when you are as old as Bruce Willis is.