Black culture has always been the musical innovator, just waiting for everyone else to start ripping it off. The black community can sit smug, safe in the knowledge that they invented rock ‘n’ roll, the blues, jazz, hip hop, soul, reggae, dance music… and not country and western.
And so, with that, the MOBO Awards have always been a showcase for the things everyone else is going to ride the coattails of next year.
Not if you include the 2011 nominees though. Why? Because it’s a terrible list of nominations utterly dominated by Jessie J and other dross.
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Black culture has always been the musical innovator, just waiting for everyone else to start ripping it off. The black community can sit smug, safe in the knowledge that they invented rock ‘n’ roll, the blues, jazz, hip hop, soul, reggae, dance music… and not country and western. And so, with that, the MOBO Awards [...]
The stupid Oscars have been and gone, with only a very select few giving the remotest of shits. Those that include themselves in that number are the people who will be making posters of all of Colin Firth’s new films and the simpering, worthy smug git who condescends the Davina McCall lookalike on the BBC’s Film show.
Oh, and we imagine there’ll be a whole host of stupid fashion writers all squeeing over various items of clothing, mixed with tubby women widening their eyes at people who have made a fashion faux-pas.
And so, because we’re legally obliged to announce the winners of the Oscars 2011, we’ve copy and pasted the list from somewhere else and replaced all the names of the winners with videos so you can try and work out who won yourself.
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Americans either have a sense of humour or, maybe, they just like the press they get from controversy (that could well explain Sarah Palin’s baffling rise in power). We say this because apparently, Ricky Gervais has been asked to host the Golden Globes again.
Of course, you’ll remember that he upset some humourless dullards with a series of jokes that made everyone else laugh.
Dry heaving while pretending to wank-off Hugh Hefner? That’s exactly the sort of thing that will see hecklerspray jumping to our collective feet for a standing ovation. Not to mention ripping celebrity Scientologists a new one.
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Like we noted yesterday, America can occasionally forget what a sense of humour is, despite the fact they’ve produced some of the most acerbic comics in history and invented the notorious advent of the comedy roast.
Yet, when on the receiving end of abuse from a British comedian, they can get a bit huffy and wounded. The great big touchy soft shits.
This has left Ricky Gervais having to defend his studs-showing stint which he delivered while hosting the Golden Globes, even though he shouldn’t have to. Gervais came armed with jokes, not guns, eh America?
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The 68th annual Golden Globes happened last night and, once again, hecklerspray‘s invite was lost in the post despite having previous when it comes to getting hold of really pure cocaine for very competitive and good prices.
Maybe we have to pretend to be Scientologists or something? Either way, we weren’t there, which means we have to rely on hearsay and reports. Please note – the former doesn’t mean we got a text from Suzanne Shaw, now starring in Emmerdale.
Anyway, apart from the winners, which no-one really cares about, the big story of the show focused on the host, Ricky Gervais who reminded us all that, sometimes, Americans don’t understand humour. Or they don’t find English people funny. One of the two.
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hecklerspray is not anti-pop by any stretch of the imagination, but it is completely fair to say that we just don’t understand the appeal of JLS. Maybe it’s because they’ve invented a new type of soul music that can only be described as Aww ‘n’ B, leaving people wanting to mother their wholesome little faces.
The cutesy foursome of Aston Merrygold, Oritse Williams, Marvin Humes and Jonathan Gill are doing alright for themselves and last night, managed to win Best Album and the Best UK Act at the MOBO awards.
Yes, it’s MOBO time again, where people take an interest while others tut and mutter “How would they like it if we had a music for white people, eh?” ‘They’, of course, being an imagined enemy. And of course, there is a music for white artists. It’s called The Q Awards. Read More >>>
Since the Black Eyed Peas haven't released any albums this year, we can't have been alone in thinking that it'd cause the American Music Awards to burst into flames and disappear into a vortex.
After all, we thought the Black Eyed Peas were contractually obliged to always win all of the American Music Awards, lest America wants to feel their wrath. But clearly that isn't the case – the 2007 American Music Awards took place yesterday with American Idol contestants Chris Daughtry and Carrie Underwood dominating the prizes. Why? Because it was the first time that the American public had been allowed to choose the winners, that's why – so we suppose we should just count our blessings that the Chocolate Rain bloke and the sodding Hamburglar didn't win everything instead.
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