The stupid Oscars have been and gone, with only a very select few giving the remotest of shits. Those that include themselves in that number are the people who will be making posters of all of Colin Firth’s new films and the simpering, worthy smug git who condescends the Davina McCall lookalike on the BBC’s Film show.
Oh, and we imagine there’ll be a whole host of stupid fashion writers all squeeing over various items of clothing, mixed with tubby women widening their eyes at people who have made a fashion faux-pas.
And so, because we’re legally obliged to announce the winners of the Oscars 2011, we’ve copy and pasted the list from somewhere else and replaced all the names of the winners with videos so you can try and work out who won yourself.
Of course, we could have simply stated who each winner was, but that is, in essence, churnalism. The desperate need to not be left behind in some imagined media stampede about an award show that no-one is really that fussed about anyway.
Who ever felt like a film was any better or worse because it won some stupid trophy?
If you’re the kind of person who only watches a film because it has been recognised by some shithouse in an expensive suit, then perhaps, you might like to go and throw yourself headfirst into oncoming traffic. Okay? Good.
Here are the winners.
Best Picture
Best Director
Best Actor
Best Actress
Best Supporting Actor
Best Supporting Actress
Best Foreign Language Film
Best Animation
Best Adapted Screenplay
Best Art Direction
Best Make-up
And there was a whole bunch of other winners but they were totally boring. Inception won some stuff but we couldn’t think of a funny video we could show for it because it is oh so stinkin’ worthy.
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