Vanessa Hugens knows that the best way to get on in life is to find something you’re good and stick to it.

Luckily, she’s found something she’s great at. Acting? No. Singing? Come on, the girl sounds like a bad Britney Spears impersonator being mauled by feral street cats. No, Vanessa Hudgens is great at taking naked photos of herself that somehow find their way onto the internet. And, by christ, she’s sticking to it.

Just two years after her last naked picture scandal, a new batch of naked Vanessa Hudgens photos have hit the internet. She’s growing artistically, people.

The thing about High School Musical, as we’re sure you’ve already worked out, is that it just wasn’t very realistic. Everyone was academically dedicated and were characterised by their constant efforts to become better people. That’s not high school. There were no arson attacks. Teachers didn’t keel over from stress-related heart attacks midway through lessons. The majority of students didn’t leave unqualified to become manual labourers. And, ridiculously, none of the female students posted naked photos of themselves on the internet due to their inherent lack of self-esteem.

At least not in the movie. Because in real life Vanessa Hudgens was all over that crap.

You’ll remember the last set of naked Vanessa Hudgens photos, of course. It was a scandal that nearly got her fired from High School Musical 3 while simultaneously paving the way for the likes of Miley Cyrus to take some risque internet photos of her own. And, knowing that they brought her within a whisker of losing her career forever, Vanessa Hudgens vowed never to take naked photos of herself ever agai…

Oh, hang on, no. Scrap that, she’s at it again. Today the internet is awash with a brand new set of naked Vanessa Hudgens photos, all taken on her mobile phone. The official word from Vanessa’s publicist is that there’s nothing new about the photos, and that Vanessa took them during her flurry of naked curiosity a few years ago. But that hardly matters, because the newly-released naked Vanessa Hudgens photos – which can be seen online at, oh, The Huffington Post? Really? – show a dramatic leap forward in terms of visual aesthetic.

The last photos depicting Vanessa Hudgens naked were sort of boring – a full-frontal here, a cheap pseudo-lesbian kiss there – but this new batch show a rapid, almost superhuman, artistic progression. In the new set are photos of:

- Vanessa Hudgens topless in a tiny gold pair of shorts with a finger in her mouth.

- Vanessa Hudgens in her underwear, pulling the top of her knickers down.

- A soft focus Vanessa Hudgens cleavage shot.

- A picture of Vanessa Hudgens in a bikini on the beach, pulling a kissy face and pointing to a Zac Efron badge that she’s stuck on her tit.

That last one’s our favourite. But will people care about these new pictures of Vanessa Hudgens larking about in the nude? No, of course they won’t – Vanessa has already stated her intention to get naked in a movie soon and, besides, we were already starting to get bored of looking at her tits anyway.

So don’t expect these new naked photos of Vanessa Hudgens to stir up much of a scandal. No, that’ll come when she gets videoed manually pleasuring a labrador, which by our calculations should happen sometime before Christmas.

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Vanessa Hudgens is a whore. We’ve avoided saying that in the past for fear of legal action, but she is.

Vanessa Hudgens is a whore. Come on, say it with us. It’s fun – Vanessa Hudgens is a whore. Apparently we should point out that Vanessa Hudgens isn’t an actual whore, and that she’s only going to be playing one in a film – which sort of spoils the fun if you ask us – but, hey, at least this means you’ll finally get to see what Vanessa Hudgens looks like naked.

Pardon? You’ve already seen Vanessa Hudgens naked? Everyone has? OH FINE THEN.

The High School Musical movies were a phenomenon for one specific reason – they showed the youth of today that, with bit of application and the knowledge that your friends will always be there for you, anyone can achieve their dream of running around with their norks out in a low-rent film about hookers. Why, just look at dear old Vanessa Hudgens, for example.

Since High School Musical 3 wrapped, Vanessa Hudgens has been desperate to appeal to a more adult audience. And that seems to be exactly what she’ll do with her new movie Sucker Punch. Admittedly Vanessa Hudgens is trying to appeal to a very specific adult audience – the sort of adult audience that cuts holes in its trouser pockets so that it can masturbate discreetly at the cinema, the sort of adult audience that only became a removal man so that it could steal women’s underwear when nobody was looking – because she’ll be playing a naked prostitute. But a girl’s got to start somewhere. The LA Times reports:

“I’m playing a character named Blondie, and it’s set in a brothel in the 1950s, so there’s not a whole lot of clothes!… I think this is my time to really step it up and get to grow up.” She talks about her role as a sexy woman “strutting her stuff” … and she does things “I would never have imagined doing.”

News of Vanessa Hudgens disrobing for a film isn’t exactly shocking, given that she recently stated her intention to do just that. Plus don’t forget that Vanessa Hudgens is already a world leader in the art of getting naked for the cameras, so whether it’s a film camera or a mobile phone camera or a pinhole camera she made out of an old Pringles tube just so it allowed her to run around with her minge out for a while, it doesn’t really matter.

We will profess that we’re surprised how quickly Vanessa Hudgens has agreed to go naked for a movie, though – we always thought the formula went teen film, failed mainstream film, cancelled primetime TV show, cancelled daytime TV show, film nudity, outright pornography, drug addiction, clean-up period, born-again christian country and western album. And it’s a worry that Vanessa has already skipped so many of these stages – if she now bypasses porn and goes straight to the country album, there’ll be hell to pay. You hear us, Vanessa? Hell to pay.

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The High School Musical kids have graduated. And what does that mean? For Zac Efron it means becoming a star in his own right.

For the majority of the other High School Musical cast it means getting a supermarket job and spending day after day waiting for a vague recognition from customers that never comes. And for Vanessa Hudgens it means getting naked and slapping her tits and clodge about with wild abandon in every single film she ever makes.

Really. Vanessa Hudgens said so, “if the movie calls for it.” Which it will, because it’ll almost certainly be porn.

Remember when those naked Vanessa Hudgens photos turned up on the internet? Yes, so do we. It was a much simpler time back then – before Miley Cyrus came along with her adult boyfriend and her love of taking her clothes off with such deadening regularity that we’ve all become desensitised to it.

We’re not the only ones who miss the good old days of seeing Vanessa Hudgens naked, either. Vanessa Hudgens seems to miss it just as much. In fact – if you ignore the three films she made where her sole contribution was singing a procession of blank-eyed songs about believing in yourself – getting naked on the internet is the only thing that Vanessa Hudgens has done in her entire life.

And now that her fellow former tweensters are growing up and starring in bad remakes of Big with the crap one from Friends, it’s possibly time for Vanessa Hudgens to revisit her glory days. MSNBC reports:

“I will show nudity in a film when the time is right,” Hudgens, 20, said in an interview with E! Online. “Right now, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it. When the time’s right, if it’s an amazing movie that I’m really passionate about and that’s what it calls for, then we’ll see.”

Did you hear that? If, in several years’ time, Vanessa Hudgens is offered a role in a film that’s obviously beyond her artistic capabilities and calls for a fleeting glimpse of sideboob or a blurred shot of a buttock, then there’s a slim chance that Vanessa Hudgens will disrobe for it. SHE’S DEFINITELY GETTING NAKED AGAIN! PARTY TIME!!

Although, to throw water on our own alarmingly horny bonfire, what’s the point? We’ve already seen Vanessa Hudgens naked once, so it’s hardly going to get anyone excited to hear that she’s going to do it again. Not unless she’s decided to shave her pubes into the shape of a dragon or plans to show us a part of her naked body that we haven’t seen before, like the back of one of her knees or the underside of a toenail or something. Because then we’d be there like a shot.

And before you say it – no, Vanessa Hudgens publicly declaring her willingness to be naked on film isn’t a sign of desperation at all. In fact the last person to do anything remotely like this was Jessica Simpson, and she’s one of the most famous women on Earth. Oh, wait, no, it isn’t 2004 any more. Oh God, Hudgens, you’re doomed.

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