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Goin’ up and goin’ down.
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This just in: Slumdog Millionaire is no longer the best feel-good movie about police brutality, torture and facial disfigurement.
Toy Story 3 has it all and more besides. Brainwashing: check. Gambling dens and internet chat rooms: check, check. Anal rape: that’ll be a check. Mr Potatohead gets taken so hard from behind that his eyes pop out. “Hey kids, it’s all part of the rich tapestry of life”, will be the words on Daily Mail-reading parents’ lips up and down the land.
This being a Disney film, you can be fairly sure that things are going to work out before the credits roll. There are a few shocks along the way, though. To see these toys’ plastic eyes widen as they wait for death to engulf them, it’s hard to imagine a more lucid way to explain to little Tarquin what happened to Granny at the crematorium.
Hey everyone, ready for Tom Cruise’s big comeback? Sure you are. After all, you’ve been very patient so far.
You laboured through Valkyrie. And you even put up with Lions For Lambs, even though it was arguably the dullest, most obnoxious excuse for a film ever made. But forget all that, because this week saw the release of Tom Cruise’s new blockbuster Knight & Day. And that was surely going to propel him back to the top of the weekend box office, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it? Anyone?
Apparently not. Knight & Day has been spectacularly trounced in the weekend box office by Toy Story 3 and Adam Sandler‘s new film Grown Ups. So it’s official – Tom Cruise is less popular than a cartoonish man who’s shaped like a potato. And a film that doesn’t star Adam Sandler. Full US weekend box office top five after the jump…
Everybody loves Toy Story. Everybody. People who don’t love Toy Story deserve to be treated with suspicion.
Toy Story was brilliant. Toy Story 2 was even better. And, remember, this is all with a lead character played by Tim Allen. Tim Allen, for crying out loud. If for no other reason than because they’re the only things in the entire history of mankind that Tim Allen hasn’t managed to drag down to a level of gnawing mediocrity simply by being in it, the Toy Story films deserve a huge amount of praise.
And now there’s Toy Story 3, which has unsurprisingly entered the US weekend box office at number one. Yes, even higher than the film about Megan Fox being a prostitute, although just about every film ever made is higher than that. That’s how much people love Toy Story. Weekend box office top five after the jump…
10 - Being vastly overweight: the barely-convincing upsides – Asylum
9 - Unofficial World Cup posters, which are awesome apart from ours which is crap – Buzzfeed
8 - This is hilarious: the Portuguese Eurovision entry, transcribed – Watchwithmothers
7 - Everybody wants to be in Transformers 3 - AmyGrindhouse
The film world poked its head round this week in the midst of all the gaming and slipped out a few choice nuggets for us to swallow bitterly.
In between E3, the Las Vegas Trade Convention slipped out some information and proved to be a poster bonanza, featuring: Transformers 2 (Here), Spiderman 4 (Here), Scott Pilgrim vs The World (Here) and the new Woody Allen Movie (Here).
Elsewhere Pirates of the Caribbean overlord Gore Verbinski may be off the Bioshock movie. Finally, Bruno publicity hits Eminem in the face in a – Is it staged? Isn’t it staged? Will Bruno overexposure dwarf the film ala Borat? – conundrum.
