Yes, for those that saw Spider-Man 3 – he’s the one played by Topher Grace off That 70s Show. He’s the one that should have been one of the best villains in comic movie history, but instead ended up being a complete rush job, thus making one of Spider-Man’s greatest foes actually a big pile of crud.

|Plus he appared to die in the film, so how Sony are going to play this we don’t really know. Time machine? A ‘he’s dead or is he OR IS HE’ angle? Ignoring the film, thus rendering his appearance in the Spider-Man movie worthless? Which it was.

It’ll probably be the third. And we bet Sam Raimi will be happy about that, after being forced to incorporate Venom into his movie in the first place.

Ah, Hollywood.

While it’s not new news that a Venom film is in the pipeline, it has just come about that Sony are pushing for the picture to be released quicksmart. Obviously wanting to ride the wave of popularity created by the successes of both Iron Man and The Dark Knight and seeing that there is, maybe, a place in the mass market for the darker side of comic books, the company have been more or less forced to play their hand.

While a script was already written for the movie, the execs have apparently decided it isn’t up to par and have sent out the word that they’re looking for a new one. The hecklerspray script is on its way, guys! Though we’re sure they’ll pick some no-talent arseclown to pen the bloody thing and it will all go wrong, leaving comic book geeks around the world frothing at the eyeballs.

It’s just that… well… they’ll get it wrong, won’t they? They’ll make Venom into some kind of pansy, or will hamfistedly force in some relatability to the character to try and make the audience sympathise with his plight.

Or they’ll probably make him pink and shoot flower-coated puppies out of his anus as he travels the galaxy bringing happiness and free rainbows to everyone.

Not that we’re cynical or anything – we just can’t see how Sony expect to work it.

Certainly, the popular character’s co-creator, Todd McFarlane thinks they can make it work.

“You don’t want to scare the kids, because the kids love the character,” he said.

“But I think you could add a little bit of a creep factor. I mean, it never bugged me to watch Frankenstein as a kid, so you could have a little bit of it, as long as you have a good story backing it up.”

The Dark Knight is a very dark, depressing film with one of the finest portrayals of a truly twisted mentalist ever seen – but Batman is still a good guy. Iron Man isn’t that dark, and he’s a good guy too. The announced X-Men Origins: Wolverine is sure to tread this same gritty, dark path but – again – Wolverine is a good guy. Conflicted, capable of being a bit maniacal yes – but still a good guy.

Sony will not be able to make major blockbuster work if it’s about a bad guy. The mass-market they so crave just won’t buy into it – they seem to forget that people are idiots. And if the most recent Spider-Man movie was anything to go by, not only will it be a flop, it’ll be shit too.

We’re just saying.

It was a time when some things happened, some stuff did some stuff and some naughty drugs were taken a lot by high-powered businessmen in high-powered business suits.

It was also a time when the original The Evil Dead movie came out, made for around $375,000, starring nobodies, with a sense of humour and receiving a great deal of positive remarks from the critics. Fast forward to the other year and Sam Raimi, director of The Evil Dead has just released Spider-Man 3; a huge-budget summer blockbuster, starring some of Hollywood’s biggest names and courting some very mixed reviews.

The hecklerspray review? It’s shit. No one wants an emo Spider-Man.

Anyway – whatever could be next for the director who really has worked his arse off, seemingly to make some medicore-but-expensive films, all with cameos of Bruce Campbell? Why not move on to some Disney stuff, to make your journey to the dark side complete? Oh, he already has. The bugger.

Yes, Sam Raimi has made his move to the truly evil realms of Hollywood complete by signing on to produce The Transplants – a Disney film referred to as ‘an action-adventure with a comedic bent’. We can handle that. Maybe. It’s alright – he’ll do a good job, surely… right?

But hold on – there’s no need for unfounded optimism. The threat of Raimi truly making the film his own and thus giving it what we call ‘potential’ has been immediately quashed, as The Transplants is written by Adam Jay Epstein and Andrew Jacobsen. For those who don’t know, which will be most of you, they wrote Not Another Teen Movie.

Ah well, it’ll just be another movie to ignore in a year or two. Not like we don’t have a big enough list to fit them all on.

Maybe we will be proven very wrong though, for once, and this will turn out to be a wonderful experience for the whole family. Maybe Raimi will take the title a little more literally than what is probably intended, and subject the audience to two hours of hilarious organ and limb transplants for the sake of medical/Disney science, with cameos of famous characters for good measure.

Baloo could swap brains with The Lion King’s Scar, making for one of the most evil and physically threatening characters in the history of film. Pick a paw paw BAM! One dead Mowgli.

Maybe the kids from High School Musical could have their limbs replaced with those of Bambi, making for far more entertaining dance routines.

Or Robin Williams’ Genie from Aladdin could be transplanted. Off the screen. Forever.

As long as Raimi keeps his own sense of humour and puts Bruce Campbell in there somewhere it’s sure to keep the nerds happy. Oh, and as long as we don’t have to put up with another unlikeable emo superhero.