ITV2 is a very odd channel. They seem intent on keeping Kerry Katona’s career alive for reasons that quite frankly baffle anyone with half a brain cell, even budget supermarket Iceland had enough sense to get rid of her and they had an advert in which Jason Donovan did the can-can in fish nets.

But even by their usual insane standards ITV2 has thrown us a curve ball, by using an obscure 90s alternative band famed for excess and eccentricity to advertise their middle of the road teen drama Gossip Girl.

Whilst getting our daily Loose Women fix we here in the hecklerspray bedsit couldn’t help but notice that the trailer for the new series of Gossip Girl featured the song Love Your Money by Daisy Chainsaw.

Because what says cool teen drama about modern day problems better than a pre-Cobain anthem about how shallow the record industry is?

For those unfamiliar with Daisy Chainsaw they were an alt.grunge band that inhabited the early to mid 90s with a borderline creepy juxtaposition of grinding guitars and child like vocals who went on to become the cult, Paris based, post-millennium rock band Queen Adreena.

They were also once referenced in an episode of Roseanne as Darlene’s favourite band, which automatically elevates their status to legendary.

Imagine if Gossip Girl star and singer for the Pretty Reckless, Taylor Momson, was fused with Keith Richards by way of post meltdown Charlie Sheen and you’ve probably got a pretty good idea of what Daisy Chainsaw singer KatieJane Garside was like in her Daisy Chainsaw days.

Garside once reportedly got so tired of her fame that she went to live in the woods for a few years. Could you imagine the sweet little pop-punk rebel Taylor Momson doing that, living in the woods, all on her own? She wouldn’t last a day without her eyeliner.

Plus she’d actually have to do something of note to achieve said fame in the first place, other than getting her underage baps out for the enjoyment of nonces everywhere that is.

While we’re naturally delighted that Daisy Chainsaw (and therefore Queen Adreena) are being given a fresh breath of life, we just wish it didn’t have to be in a bloody Gossip Girl trailer.

Because there’s nothing more annoying than listening to one of your favourite early 90s rock song without some peroxide blonde, Fukushima orange, shrieking jezebel, clad in an oversized t-shirt that proclaims something vacuous like OMG or LOL, clacking her way towards you in stripper heels whilst using her piercing, shrill voice to loudly exclaim, “OMG! Is that like, the song from the gossip girl ad!? It’s totally fetch!”

Although, it would be brilliant to see the new series of whatever it is ITV2 use as a platform to show Kerry Katona advertised using the Queen Adreena song Pretty Like Drugs.

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Where to stand on this Chris Brown/ Rihanna debacle – yes, a woman was attacked until she was hospitalised.

Then again, Chris Brown is adorable. What a pickle. Do we blame Chris Brown for allegedly being a violent, woman-beating thug, or do we blame Rihanna for, um, having the sort of face that you want to choke unconscious, or whatever other genuinely stupid reasons the idiots who blame Rihanna have dreamt up?

Let’s take a leaf out of Roseanne Barr’s book, shall we? She’s quite happy to blame Chris Brown AND Rihanna for everything. Sounds good Roseanne, you tubby old lunatic.

The best thing about Chris Brown being arrested for allegedly duffing up Rihanna is that everybody has got an opinion on it. Literally everyone - Jay-Z, someone who might know Oprah Winfrey, about a million hecklerspray readers who couldn’t spell a single sodding sentence correctly if you held a bastard gun to their bloody heads – everyone.

Actually, no – almost everyone. Because, if we’re honest, we’ve been slightly disappointed by the lack of reaction from fat obnoxious women who used to have their own sitcoms in the early 1990s. Surely they must have an opinion about Chris Brown. Surely.

Well, the good news is they do. Or at least the only one that matters does – Roseanne Barr. And it’s not a moment too soon, because Roseanne has an extraordinary insight into the psychology of abuse – not only has Roseanne previously accused both of her parents of physical and sexual abuse in the past, but the last season of her sitcom was so overwhelmingly cack there’s a very strong chance it’d stand up as an example of the worst kind of domestic abuse against the entire world in a court of law.

So what has Roseanne Barr got to say about this Chris Brown/ Rihanna kerfuffle? Let’s just say that her opinions are entirely in keeping with that of a woman who once devoted an entire segment of her talkshow to performing a nine-minute version of Exodus by Bob Marley in a borderline-racist dreadlock wig before proclaiming herself to be the reincarnation of Cleopatra who’d returned to Earth to liberate women. First of all, on her blog, Roseanne seemed to have it in for Chris Brown:

chris brown’s lies and excuses make me want to beat the crap out of him…he uses the language of the perpetrator just like every sleazy bastard who ever smacked his wife, kid mother or girlfriend around uses. you dirty bastard, I hope you go to prison for ten years. IT’S YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE!

Before then, the following day, deciding that Rihanna was probably to blame for it as well:

women who go back to men who have hit them are usually violent too. i hope rhianna is getting counseling from a professional counselor who will tell her that there is no way for her to ever win, and that she will have to curtail her own penchant for escalating conflict by screaming at or hitting or humiliating her abuser.

So there we have it. Conclusive proof that Chris Brown is an asshole. Or that Rihanna is a bitch who probably deserved it. Or that Roseanne Barr lost her marbles a long, long time ago.

Oh, let’s just go with the last one. It’s easier.

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