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Peaches Geldof

WEBTHUMP! Thursday 9 April 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – The best picture of Peaches Geldof you will ever see – Holy Moly

9 – Here’s a collection of murderous Japanese robots – Cracked

8 – This just in: farting during a football match gets you yellow-carded – Manchestereveningnews

7 – You want to hear more stories about men getting their penises bitten off, don’t you? Of course you do – Metro

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Peaches Geldof Splits From Hubby, World Somehow Holds Back Tears

by Paul Gibson

One of Bob Geldof’s daughters has ended her marriage to a terrifyingly unknown musicman. Oh yeah, also recession, war, yaddayaddayadda.

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Is Peaches Geldof Going To Jail? Probably Not.

by Paul Sorrenti

Peaches Geldof has been filmed handing over money to a pair of notorious drug-dealers and is to be investigated by the police.

19-year-old Peaches was secretly filmed offering Jonny Blagrove and Cara Burton £140 in return for some unspecified goods.

Then Blagrove, ‘dealer to the stars’, tells Peaches what she wants will actually cost her £190.

The extra £50 quid doesn’t deter Peaches, she is after all the daughter of modern day Jesus, Bob Geldof, and it’s good to see the royalties from I don’t like Mondays aren’t going to waste.

Peaches is then reportedly recorded saying:

I’m going to need Valium tomorrow after this.

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Peaches Geldof’s Reality TV Show: Hecklerspray’s Near-Miss

by Matthew Laidlow

Hecklerspray’s Matthew Laidlow recently applied for a job at a magazine, not knowing that it was to be edited by Peaches Geldof as part of an MTV reality TV show. Here’s his account of what happened…

Firstly, let’s be clear – nobody told me that I was going going for a job on a reality TV show or that Peaches Geldof was going to be the editor. Both these factors would have put me off straight away.

So here is my story of how I almost worked with the stupidly named celebrity wannabe Peaches Geldof.

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Peaches Geldof Even Less Talented Than Initially Thought

by C J Davies

Hecklerspray has never been a fan of live gigs. They’re always full of those things we hate. You know what we mean, right? They’re all over the place wherever you look. What are they called again? Oh – that’s it. People.

We’re sometimes a bit more tolerant, however. If we’re out to see a band or performer we have genuine admiration and respect for, then we’re nothing but a bundle of joy and happiness all night long. Bearing that rule in mind, it’s probably a good thing that we were nowhere near The Hospital bar in Covent Garden on Tuesday night, as an event took place that would have seen us embark on a rage-filled, blood-splattered frenzy of which that man with the big gun from Predator would have been proud.

Peaches Geldof played a gig.

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