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Nominations

Golden Globes 2011 Nominations Prompts Everyone To Write Out Long, Pointless List Of Things

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! It’s the Golden Globes! No, that’s not C3PO’s testicles, but rather, yet another stupid awards ceremony that will appear on the stickers of DVD releases next year in an attempt to make us part with our cash. Us Limey bastards can show fleeting pride too as The King’s Speech – which stars more Limey [...]

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People’s Choice Awards 2011 Nominations Announced And It’s Twilight Heavy

by Mof Gimmers

The People’s Choice Awards are, no question, the most reflective awards ceremony of what people actually like. There’s no panel of sneering critics and judges to give some indie film the nod over That Thing Everyone On Earth Watched. It’s unashamedly populist, which of course, means that it is probably the best of the bunch. [...]

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The Razzies Shockingly Decide That The Love Guru Was Bum

by Stuart Heritage

We certainly wouldn’t like to be Mike Myers right now – although, granted, that’s mostly to do with his haircut.

But part of it is because of the Razzies. The nominations for this year’s Razzies have been announced, and Mike Myers’ woeful mishap The Love Guru has swept the board, earning nods for Worst Screenplay, Worst Director, Worst Actor, Worst Actress, Worst Supporting Actor and Worst Movie.

But it’s not all bad news for Mike Myers, because The Happening has also been nominated plenty of times, and if it doesn’t win everything then we promise to do a dirty protest somewhere.

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Celebrity Big Brother: Ulrika, Tina, Michelle & Mutya Up

by Stuart Heritage

Yes, you read that correctly – this Friday one of four housemates will be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother, and none of them are Coolio.

Instead, Ulrika Jonsson, Tina Malone, Michelle Heaton and Mutya all gained the most amount of nominations from their fellow housemates. Who goes? You decide. Or rather a bunch of crosseyed numbskulls who think that voting for Celebrity Big Brother evictions is a constructive recreational activity will decide. Or something.

So for the rest of the week we’ll be looking at the prospective Celebrity Big Brother evictees, starting with Mutya and Ulrika…

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Golden Globes Noms: Good For Paedophile Priests, Bad For Batman

by Stuart Heritage

You know how this awards season is all about populism and less about three-hour sobathons starring Very Serious People?

Yeah, it’s not. We got that wrong. Sorry. Although WALL-E won Best Picture at a recent awards ceremony, the nominations for next year’s Golden Globes were announced yesterday, and they seem to indicate that it’ll be another good year for dreary films about troubled people who stare into the middle distance a lot.

Golden Globes front-runners include Doubt, Frost/Nixon and Revolutionary Road. So far so miserable. But Batman got a look-in too, with one nomination for, oh, the dead chap. Joy.

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Grammy Noms: Hey, Some People Still Like Coldplay!

by Stuart Heritage

British people, it’s time to celebrate – the world’s smuggest, dreariest, most interminable music awards show likes our music!

Some of the nominations for next year’s Grammys have been announced, and British names like Robert Plant, Adele, Duffy, MIA and Radiohead are all over them. Now we’re not saying that this is because 2008 was a bad year for music, but Coldplay did get seven nominations, so we suppose in retrospect we are a bit.

And this is just the start – next year the rest of the Grammy nominations are announced, including Best Native American Music Album. Come on Coldplay! Make it eight!

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Slow-Witted Cowboys Still Love Kenny Chesney

by Stuart Heritage

The best thing about the end of movie awards season isn’t that we have to listen to actors bleat about how important they are – although that helps – but that cowboys awards season can get going.

And cowboy awards season has started in earnest now that the nominations for this year’s Academy of Country Music awards have been announced.

It looks like it’ll be a good year for Kenny Chesney, who’s scored double the ACM nominations than any of his competitors. That’s probably life-changing news if you follow things like this, so now you can go back to whistling through your teeth and standing on your porch shooting trespassers with your shotgun in peace again.

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All The Films You’d Expect Get Oscar Nominations

by Stuart Heritage

Usually the most exciting thing about Oscar nominations day is knowing that all the months of suffocating hype will soon be at an end, but not this year.

Because this year’s Oscar nominations have just been announced – and, thanks to the writers’ strike, nobody even knows whether there’ll even be an Oscars this year. But if the Oscars do happen, then No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood should probably get their tuxedos pressed.

And so should Atonement. Even though it’s bloody Atonement.

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Atonement Gets A Jillion BAFTA Nominations

by Stuart Heritage

With the Golden Globes cancelled and the Oscars and Grammys looking likely to go the same way, what are the biggest awards around?

That’s right, the BAFTAs. And because the BAFTAs are British, it’s only right that it should focus on British films. And because the only British film made in the last year was Atonement, it stands to reason that Atonement should get so many BAFTA nominations that we actually feel a little bit embarrassed for it.

Even though it’s sodding Atonement, for sod’s sake.

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Take That Get A Bewildering Amount Of Brits Noms

by Stuart Heritage

Take That, the group of four 50-year-old men who get paid to sing the soundtrack to TV ads for low-rent supermarkets – have got a lot of Brit Award nominations.

In fact, all the acts that scooped the most Brit Award nominations are just sugar-free versions of older performers. The three biggest Brit nod-getters were Mika (Freddie Mercury lite), Leona Lewis (Whitney Houston lite) and Take That (Take That lite).

But don’t worry – the Brits also had something for you indie kids too. The Eagles are up for Best International Album. That’s The Eagles.

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