The Razzies Shockingly Decide That The Love Guru Was Bum

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We certainly wouldn’t like to be Mike Myers right now – although, granted, that’s mostly to do with his haircut.

But part of it is because of the Razzies. The nominations for this year’s Razzies have been announced, and Mike Myers’ woeful mishap The Love Guru has swept the board, earning nods for Worst Screenplay, Worst Director, Worst Actor, Worst Actress, Worst Supporting Actor and Worst Movie.

But it’s not all bad news for Mike Myers, because The Happening has also been nominated plenty of times, and if it doesn’t win everything then we promise to do a dirty protest somewhere.

For all your Wall-Es and Dark Knights, 2008 was an almost universally terrible year for movies. The Incredible Hulk managed to do the impossible and actually be worse than The Hulk, Quantum Of Solace couldn’t have been any more disappointing if it was about sand, Indiana Jones 4 made us wish that that little Indian kid killed him two films ago, Cloverfield turned out to be 90 minutes of a big testicle chasing some wankers around a city and 27 Dresses was released.

Oddy enough, though, most of these films have been completely ignored by the just-announced Razzies nominations. And that’s because of three things:

1) The Love Guru

2) The Happening

3) Paris Hilton‘s bewildering belief in her own talents as a movie star.

All three are awful in their own special way. The Love Guru, as well as being monumentally unfunny, was promoted with a mixture of interviews where Mike Myers came off as a self-regarding prick and editorial features which all had the headline ‘Mike Myers Is A Self-Regarding Prick’. The Happening was essentially a film about Mark Wahlberg running away from pollen. And then there’s Paris Hilton, who is Paris Hilton.

But despite the ferocious craptitude of those three movies, they aren’t the only recipients of Razzie Award nominations this year. How could they be, when Jessica Alba starred in more than one movie and Al Pacino continued his transformation into the world’s angriest Good Luck Troll? Here are this year’s Razzie Award nominations in full, courtesy of E! Online:

WORST PICTURE

  • Disaster Movie
  • The Happening
  • The Hottie and the Nottie
  • In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
  • The Love Guru
  • Meet the Spartans

WORST ACTOR

  • Larry the Cable Guy, Witless Protection
  • Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave
  • Mike Myers, The Love Guru
  • Al Pacino, 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill
  • Mark Wahlberg, The Happening and Max Payne

WORST ACTRESS

  • Jessica Alba, The Eye and The Love Guru
  • The cast of The Women (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan)
  • Cameron Diaz, What Happens in Vegas
  • Paris Hilton, The Hottie and the Nottie
  • Kate Hudson, Fools’ Gold and My Best Friend’s Girl

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

  • Uwe Boll (as himself), Uwe Boll’s Postal
  • Pierce Brosnan, Mamma Mia!
  • Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru and The Wackness
  • Burt Reynolds, Deal and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
  • Verne Troyer, The Love Guru and Uwe Boll’s Postal

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

  • Carmen Electra, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
  • Paris Hilton, Repo: The Genetic Opera
  • Kim Kardashian, Disaster Movie
  • Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
  • Leelee Sobieski, 88 Minutes and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

WORST SCREEN COUPLE

  • Uwe Boll and Any Actor, Camera or Screenplay
  • Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher, What Happens in Vegas
  • Paris Hilton and either Christin Lakin or Joel David Moore, The Hottie and the Nottie
  • Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
  • Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave

WORST PREQUEL, REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL

  • The Day the Earth Blowed Up Real Good
  • Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
  • Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
  • Speed Racer
  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars

WORST DIRECTOR

  • Uwe Boll, 1968: Tunnel Rats, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale and Uwe Boll’s Postal
  • Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
  • Tom Putnam, The Hottie and the Nottie
  • Marco Schnabel, The Love Guru
  • M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening

WORST SCREENPLAY

  • Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
  • The Happening
  • The Hottie and the Nottie
  • In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
  • The Love Guru

WORST CAREER ACHIEVEMENT

  • Uwe Boll

We’ve checked this list several times, and we can’t help but notice that Justin Timberlake didn’t get a nomination for The Love Guru. The Razzies aren’t for another month – is it too late to ask for a recount?

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Comments

  1. Horror says

    Sienna Miller wasn’t there? Also, about time someone told Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba how piss-poor they are.

  2. Stabby McGee says

    “The Day the Earth Blowed Up Real Good”???

    Holy crap. Really?

    With films like that being made, it almost makes you wish the earth would blow up.

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