That’s because, after last time Britney Spears was on How I Met Your Mother, her co-star Neil Patrick Harris told everyone that it was just a stupid piece of stunt-casting that made everyone look silly, although he now claims that his statements were taken out of context.

And now that it’s all but official that Britney Spears will make a second appearance on the show, Neil Patrick Harris has made his point of view absolutely clear – he’d be thrilled to have Britney Spears back on How I Met Your Mother, because ethically-dubious stunt-casting is the only thing keeping the poxy show afloat at the moment. We’re paraphrasing slightly.

For a show that’s about as funny as sand, How I Met Your Mother is getting all kinds of stupid attention at the moment, and that’s all down to Britney Spears. Before Britney Spears appeared on How I Met Your Mother, it was mostly known as that show that hardly anyone watched because it wasn’t especially funny. But now How I Met Your Mother is known as that show that hardly anyone watches unless Britney Spears is in it, in which case they’ll watch out of a ghoulish sense of curiosity and nothing more.

However, the thought of Britney Spears returning to How I Met Your Mother has created all sorts of hilarious tensions between those involved in the show, in particular Neil Patrick Harris. When first asked about Britney’s return, Neil Patrick Harris was all like “Ugh, no way. She’s such a massive whore.” We’re paraphrasing.

Harris quickly backtracked when the story was published, saying that everything he said was taken out of context and that actually he thought Britney Spears was the greatest actor since Olivier. Again, paraphrasing.

But it was a good job that Neil Patrick Harris did backtrack like a useless girl, because now it looks like Britney Spears really is returning to How I Met Your Mother whether he likes it or not. So now would really be the perfect time for him to make it completely clear that he’s actually all for Britney Spears appearing on his show again and that she’s wonderful and that she definitely shouldn’t attack him with her fists the instant she arrives on set again. OK! reports:

“I don’t know if it’s true or not,” he tells Extra. “Nothing has been confirmed to me in any way, but we would be so lucky to have her. She was great fun the first time.” And though he’s been on the record to OK! about what a distraction it was to have the pop superstar on HIMYM, the former Doogie Howser star claims that it’s all been taken out of context. “I’ve said all along that she was great on the show and she was and she was fun to be around,” he continues.

Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to work out what Neil Patrick Harris’ real problem with Britney Spears is – he’s worried that if he spends too long around her, they’ll both fall madly in love. And, face it, if a mentally ill woman who’s legally too dangerous to look after her own children can’t turn a gay man straight, then what can?

Read more:

Neil Patrick Harris: “We’d Be Lucky to Have Britney Back” – OK

That’s a bit strange, isn’t it? Why on one day (yesterday) would someone say: “I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed”, and then one day later (today) say: “As I have said all along, Britney did a great job on the show. She really did. In fact, we are all hoping that she returns rather soon to reprise her role as Abby”?

What could have happened to change Neil’s mind so drastically in such a short space of time? Hmmm…

Let’s delve deeper. Why on one day would someone say: “I mean, viewership is not our game. It’s the network and the studio’s game, you know”, and then the next day say: “Look, that episode garnered our highest ratings of the season — I would never ignore or disrespect that fact”?

It really is just so strange. What do you think might have happened? We just can’t figure it out. To help you decide, here is yesterday’s Neil Patrick Harris quote, in all it’s glory:

“I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed. I worry that if they start `Will and Grace-ing’ us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. the network and the studio’s game, you know. It’s the promotion department’s game… We wish we weren’t opposite an awkward reality dancing competition. But we have no say about that. I just am a real fan of our content. I think we have a great show going, and I hope it’s not screwed up by the desire for 700,000 more viewers.”

And here is today’s Neil Patrick Harris quote, in all it’s glory:

“It seems that yesterday a writer took some quotes of mine and speculated an opinion about their intent. I write to you to set the record straight. As I have said all along, Britney did a great job on the show. She really did. In fact, we are all hoping that she returns rather soon to reprise her role as Abby. Look, that episode garnered our highest ratings of the season — I would never ignore or disrespect that fact. I am just very protective of our show, and its content. I have a high standard of quality, and hope to maintain it on every level. Television is big business, I understand that. I have great faith in our casting department, as well as [Twentieth Century Fox Television] and CBS, to find the appropriate person for every role on our show. I was remiss in speculating otherwise. My job description is to act, and I should really do just that. Britney Spears fits into our make-believe world very well — if she chose to return I can only imagine that Carter [Bays], Craig [Thomas], and the rest of the writers would create a humdinger of a storyline for her. We should be so lucky.”

Wait – shhh! Did anybody hear that? It sounded suspiciously like a corporate whip cracking across some jumped-up actor’s arse. You know the sound we mean? Don’t worry, if you don’t, it was probably all in our heads anyway. Just read on and find out:

At first, the Associated Press stood by their story. AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington said:

“I respect his right to change his stance, but…Neil Patrick Harris told us unequivocally that he did not believe that Britney should be on the show.”

But, a few hours later, the AP had also seemingly changed their mind. Jesse Washington stated:

“We’re issuing a clarification to our story. Harris did not say that he opposed a return engagement for Spears, and our lead said that he did.”

What the hell is going on here? Can’t anyone just say what they mean first time? What kind of a world do we live in if we can’t trust an TV actor and an entertainment editor to get their facts straight? A bloody horrible world! A world run by ‘leads’ who run amok, anonymously stirring up shit and then anonymously taking the blame.

But luckily for you, the editors of this particular entertainment website don’t fuck about. If we say we’re unequivocal, then we will remain that way, so suck on this equivocation you fickle fucks:

Neil Patrick Harris is man who, for a second, believed his bollocks were bigger than they were and, for a second, gained the respect of hecklerspray for speaking some well thought out truths, but ultimately is nothing more than a corporate shill pussy who needs to shut up and know his place in the world – as a rubbish actor in a rubbish TV show watched by rubbish people in a rubbish world.

At least, that’s what our lead told us, before he scampered off with a cheeky grin on his face. We’d like to issue the following statement:

“We’re issuing a clarification to our story. Harris is not a a corporate shill, or a pussy, or a rubbish actor. He is a top, top man and we love him and wish him and his show all the best.”

God, that whip smarts.

Read More – Update: Neil Patrick Harris clarifies his Britney Spears Remark, AP then clarifies its story – Hollywood Insider

But How I Met Your Mother’s Neil Patrick Harris isn’t having any of it. He’s decided to speak out about the idea of making Britney Spears a How I Met Your Mother regular, because growing an audience naturally is much better than shocking viewers into watching by parading unwell megastars around in front of them every week.

Hear hear Neil Patrick Harris – finally, someone with the balls to speak out against this increasing over-reliance on chasing ratings through cheat stunt casting. Mediocre sitcoms that people only really watch because they’re lazy and nothing else is on, you now have your champion.

Britney Spears is now safely under the care of her father, who so far seems to have done an extraordinarily good job of keeping her out of the limelight to recover from her recent patch of mental illness in private. Which is good for her Britney Spears, but shit for the rest of us.

Because, now that Britney Spears is – ugh – getting better and – bleurgh – behaving normally again, do you know who we have to rely on for stories about alarming celebrity behaviour? Do you? Vanilla Ice, that’s who. Vanilla fucking Ice. Thanks a lot Britney Spears, you arsehole.

But when Britney Spears does briefly poke her head out of the rabbit hole, all hell breaks loose. For instance, Britney Spears was recently on How I Met Your Mother. On one episode of How I Met Your Mother. For less than three minutes in total. But from this barely-extended walk-on on a show that not a whole lot of people usually watch anyway came an avalanche of speculation.

First people were clamouring to give Britney an Emmy for the appearance and then, based on the fact that a few million extra rubberneckers watched the show when she was on it, people starting talking about Britney Spears becoming a How I Met Your Mother regular.

But enough is enough. Neil Patrick Harris – who plays adorably underage doctor Doogie Houser MD on How I Met Your Mother – has said that if Britney Spears becomes a regular on the show then he’ll run through the set killing indiscriminately before turning the gun on himself. We’re paraphrasing. According to the Associated Press, Neil Patrick Harris actually said:

“I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed. I worry that if they start `Will and Grace’-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. It’s the network and the studio’s game, you know. It’s the promotion department’s game… We wish we weren’t opposite an awkward reality dancing competition. But we have no say about that. I just am a real fan of our content. I think we have a great show going, and I hope it’s not screwed up by the desire for 700,000 more viewers.”

However much sense Neil Patrick Harris is making here, we can see the other side of the argument as well. Britney Spears would bring a brand new audience to How I Met Your Mother, and – if handled correctly – could really take the show to the next level.

Also, if Britney Spears doesn’t become a regular on How I Met Your Mother, then where else is she going to be able to make public appearances? Nowhere, that’s where. If Britney Spears loses How I Met Your Mother then none of us will ever see or hear from her ever again.

Actually, maybe Neil Patrick Harris does have a point…

Read more:

Neil Patrick Harris: Say No to Britney! – AP