Neil Patrick Harris Is A Drunken Dreamboat

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Neil Patrick HarrisAs I sit here losing sensation in my pinky toes because Mother Nature decided to bring her frigid bitchness public, I want to be mad at Neil Patrick Harris for rubbing it in my face that he is all warm and shit in Mexico.   Not only is he basking in toasty sunshine, but he is getting his drink on in the form of multiple delicious margaritas, and man I want to roll my eyes and let my bitch flag fly high and proud.

But this is NPH we are talking about, and I just can’t.  Between his hotness, his hysterical pictures, and the fact that he is 1/4 a part of what might be the most adorable Hollywood family, I can do nothing but tilt my head, giggle, and go “Aww!”

Doogie Howser, can we please just be BFFs?

Lucky son of a gun, Neil Patrick Harris spent the new year on the warm sandy beaches of Mexico with his partner, David Burka, their children, and their friends.  While the rest of his countrymen have been freezing their asses off, the coolest triple named celebrity enjoyed getting a little sun kissed glow on his nicely cut abdominal region.  On their last day,  Harris decided to pull a Lindsay and get white girl wasted on some tequila and salt.  Now, you would think that was Neil’s best decision of the day, but it wasn’t.  The decision to photograph the progression of his ever rising blood alcohol level was really the key to this being the most awesome thing I’ve seen all week.

It all starts off innocently enough, with NPH announcing his brilliant plan for the day

Neil Patrick Harris Instagram

Okay, it all starts off innocently enough.  Let me just say thanks right here and now for the shirtless shot, NPH.  You may not play for my team but that doesn’t mean I can’t find your irresistibly dreamy.   I can just pretend you are Barney in my head to make it all work.

Harris then moves to Twitter statuses with his photos.

Neil Patrick Harris Mexico 1

NPH COMBO3

Neil Patrick Harris Mexico 3

Neil Patrick Harris Mexico 4

Neil Patrick Harris Mexico 5

Neil Patrick Harris Mexico 7

Neil Patrick Harris Mexico 8

::swoon::

NPH manages to make being a total fucking hot mess look like so much fun and so freaking cute all at the same time!  I bet Lindsay is looking at these and going “Why does everyone laugh when Neil Patrick Harris does this, but I fall down a couple of sidewalks and people get all judgy and shit?!”  Well Ms. Lohan, that’s because NPH is just kidding about being a sloppy drunken mess.  You are an actual sloppy drunk mess down to your genetic makeup.

The shot of Neil with his husband and daughter is by far my favorite one.  You cannot teach that dirty side eye that Harper is rocking.  That is pure au naturale sass.  Work it girl!

Now back to my electric blanket and gallon sized mug of hot cocoa.  Fuck I want to be in Mexico.

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