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musical

Fraggle Rock: The Musical – Coming Soon, Seriously

by Stuart Heritage

With the frenzied success of Speed Racer ringing in Hollywood’s ears, producers have been looking for another nostalgic TV show to adapt into a movie.

What’s that? Speed Racer wasn’t a frenzied success? Speed Racer has actually been one of the most spectacularly unmitigated disasters in recent box office years? Oh well, The Weinstein Co. wants to make a movie based on Fraggle Rock anyway.

Yes, you heard right – Fraggle Rock, the TV show that defined your childhood almost as much as wetting the bed and the emotional scars gained during your parent’s bitter divorce, is going to be turned into a movie. But not just any kind of movie – Fraggle Rock is going to become a musical, which is like a normal movie except it’s for pricks.

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Nicole Richie Stars In Chicago? A Planet Weeps

by Stuart Heritage

One oft-neglected side-effect of giving birth is the overwhelming desire to star in overtly showy prohibition-era Broadway musicals.

Just look at Nicole Richie, for example. For some logic-defying reason, she’s currently weighing up an offer to star as Roxie Hart in the Broadway version of Chicago.

It’d be awfully presumptuous of us to try and second-guess what issues Nicole Richie is weighing up exactly, but we’re willing to bet that they include rehearsal schedules, being able to spend time with her new baby and the fact that if she was any less talented at anything other than forgetting to eat she’d be legally reclassified as vegetation.

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Steven King And John Mellencamp Make Musical Baby

by Shawn Lindseth

If you’ve ever wanted to get murdered by an evil clown in a thick fog while listening to someone hum an unmistakable rendition of Little Pink Houses to the beat of a clunky, blood covered chain saw – we have good news. Naomi Campbell is well on the road to recovery, and she might just do it for you if you look like you really want it.

We heard that after she eats you, her body turns you into a cyst. We really heard that. We think we really heard that. We may have heard it.

Now if you’d like to share in that experience without actually needing CPR and cyst-reversal surgery afterwards, we have good news for that too. Steven King and John Mellencamp have teamed up to write a musical. It’s called Naomi Campbell’s Raging Cyst.

It’s not called Naomi Campbell’s Raging Cyst.

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Sweeney Todd In Trouble?

by hecklerspray staff

Singing? In film? Disgusting.

Warning: Sweeney Todd is a musical. That’s not breaking news we know, but there are some people out there that are picking themselves up off the floor following that revelation.

The Guardian reports that there were inadequate warnings that singing took place in Tim Burton’s latest edition. “It resembles a vintage Tim Burton movie, but nowhere does the trailer mention the fact that Sweeney Todd is a musical. In fact, it goes out of its way to conceal the fact that the movie is entirely sung, save for a few snippets of dialogue.”

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