If you've ever wanted to get murdered by an evil clown in a thick fog while listening to someone hum an unmistakable rendition of Little Pink Houses to the beat of a clunky, blood covered chain saw – we have good news. Naomi Campbell is well on the road to recovery, and she might just do it for you if you look like you really want it.
We heard that after she eats you, her body turns you into a cyst. We really heard that. We think we really heard that. We may have heard it.
Now if you'd like to share in that experience without actually needing CPR and cyst-reversal surgery afterwards, we have good news for that too. Steven King and John Mellencamp have teamed up to write a musical. It's called Naomi Campbell's Raging Cyst.
It's not called Naomi Campbell's Raging Cyst.
In the oddest pairing since Brandon and Brenda Walsh had a dyslexic 90210 baby (that was a subplot in season two, wasn't it?), Steven King and John Mellencamp have gotten together to make a child of their own.
A musical child. Sorry – no homosexual genetic break-throughs here. The two have written a musical. It's called Ghost Brothers of Darkland County, and Billboard lets loose with some details:
"Mellencamp wrote the score, while King wrote the script. Mellencamp previously said the play, which is set in Lake Belle Reve, Miss., in 1957, is about "two brothers; they're 19 years old or 20, maybe 18 or 21, who are very competitive and dislike each other immensely. The father takes them to the family vacation place, a cabin that the boys hadn't been to since they were kids. What has happened is that the father had two older brothers who hated each other and killed each other in that cabin," he continued. "There's a confederacy of ghosts who also live in this house. The older [dead] brothers are there, and they speak to the audience, and they sing to the audience."
Makes you think, doesn't it? If intense sibling rivalry leads to an eternal hell of being stuck day in and day out in an Atlanta based musical, then we've got some bridges to mend. Bruce – we're so sorry we whipped you with a cat-o-nine tails while you were just trying to protect those kittens. Tina – you are not the stankest ho on a planet made of stank. Alonzo – sorry we made your eye droop.
Step-siblings – we stand by our words, and we stand by our actions.
Read More:
King, Mellencamp Team for Musical – Entertainment Weekly
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