Posts tagged as:

lies

Suri Cruise Performs Anarcho-Punk Act Of Guerilla Satire With A Bag Of Penises

by Justrestingmyeyes

Life’s got to be pretty damn dull when you’re a celebrity spawn. Once you’ve got used to the endless procession of uncles with big flashy cameras that Mummy is so fond of twirling about in front of, and the endless procession of nannies that Daddy keeps disappearing to the toilet with and making squeak like [...]

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Katie Holmes Sues Magazine For Telling Slightly More Lies Than Usual

by Amy Grindhouse

Katie Holmes is suing mad over Star Magazine telling filthy, filthy lies about her alleged drug addiction. That addiction, you know. The one where she’s addicted to Charlie Sheen, or something. We’re pretty sure at least one person in this story’s addicted to Charlie Sheen. The actress has filed a libel lawsuit in federal court [...]

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Leona Lewis Claims Valentine’s Day Most Tedious Award

by Matthew Laidlow

Oh look! It’s Valentine’s Day which means one of two things: If you happen to be single and lonely like us, you’ll be spending the day furiously masturbating whilst eating a fist full of chocolate, all in the name of creating a fake romantic setting. For the loved up, couples everywhere will be bankrupting themselves [...]

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Leona Lewis Fails At Being Adventurous In Fashion

by Matthew Laidlow

There are obvious differences between men and women. Once the smuttier of you look beyond the bouncing boobies or the swinging willies, things take a sinister, much darker path. Men are seen as the dominant aggressor with males receiving higher salaries and gaining more power in the company food chain. This train of thought dilutes [...]

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Leona Lewis Tells Lies And Hates All Of The Animal Kingdom

by Paul Pencott

Do you know what’s fascinating about Leona Lewis? Nothing of course. In terms of phenomena, she’s like ‘that funny noise the fridge makes’ – something you’re vaguely aware of but couldn’t ever really have a strong feeling about. Or so we thought, because look out world – Leona Lewis has been lying her expressionless face [...]

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Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian Kiss With Penelope Cruz Update: it’s ‘Not Sexy’ (it is, They’re Lying)

by Ian Dransfield

When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn’t sexy, we wouldn’t hold it against you if you believed her. She’s a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the ‘not sexy’ thing she’s talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business [...]

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Akon Not No Thug, Probably Even Scared Of Wee Girls

by Shawn Lindseth

The way hecklerspray got so bad-A is by enduring hard times. For instance, in grade school we often got homework on the weekends. Also our Mom’s favorite cat never once let us cuddle it in our lap.

Now, as revenge, we stand over where Mr Whiskers is buried in the backyard and shoot bullets into the ground. We seem to do that at least monthly. In a way it’s kind of like we finally get to scratch his belly.

The reason we do things like that is because we’re hard, tough, and often find ourselves relating quite well to people who have street-cred on TV. You knew that though, right? We rap about it all the time. It’s how we vent our sour memories.

We’re just like Akon that way. He vents too – about the hard times. Except The Smoking Gun looked into it recently and found he lied and he’s probably actually a non-criminal masterminded wuss.

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Jessica Simpson All Pissy About Split Story

by Stuart Heritage

You may have read reports about Jessica Simpson getting dumped by Tony Romo – and it doesn’t matter if you haven’t, because Jessica Simpson’s read it for you.

We know. Jessica Simpson can read. Weird.

Anyway, Jessica Simpson isn’t pleased about the reports, to the extent that she’s getting her lawyers to make OK! magazine apologise for telling lies.

But, hey, Jessica Simpson can read. Who knew?

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