The bromance between Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick is no more.

Theirs is the brotherly romance that never was. Yet they still started a million and one too obvious for words blind items. The pair have been in their cosy little non-love nest since 2007. In the early days of Gossip Girl they thought pooling together their assorted flat irons, gels and tubes of lube would be more cost-effective than each having their own crap.

You will all remember the early days of Gossip Girl and the terrible Brylcreem drought of 2007. Right? That was a time when lots of young, straight males who were in danger of running out of hair products thought it best to shack up together rather than risk being forced to live a life devoid of coiffing.

Well, it was around this time that fingers were being worn to the bone, concocting uninspired blind items about how the only thing these two were allegedly pooling was saliva. For the record, I for one don’t think they have been banging in plain view of the world’s media for two years. I totally buy Chace’s assertion that he was sick of living with ’slob’, Ed. Messy eaters and people who refuse to sleep in the wet spot are the worst. Bitches.

After all, there are only so many empty packets of condoms and so many panties down the back of the couch that one straight guy can take. Better for Chace to branch out and start slutting it up in his own place, rather than cleaning up after his partner in crime all the time.

Despite the rumours of a break-up of sorts, there are no rumours of animosity. A source told US Weekly:

Gossip Girl’s Chace Crawford has moved out of the NYC apartment he shares with costar Ed Westwick. The two have shared the apartment in the Chelsea neighborhood since they both first moved to the city after being cast in the hit CW series. The source says Crawford — who will star in the upcoming reboot of Footloose — moved out on Monday and into a rented penthouse apartment in the luxe Dwell 95 building in NYC’s Financial District. The reason for Crawford’s change of scenery? Apparently, Westwick is a slob, and Crawford couldn’t take the mess any longer, a source tells Us.

There. That’s That. Well, almost.

This shocking news comes in the same week as ‘the end of man bangs’ was declared. Pretty sure that phrase translates as well as the word ‘fag’, so you should know that ‘man bangs’ refers to the ridiculous floppy hairstyle previously sported by Chace and his identical eyebrow twin, Zac Efron.

Not sure how much more heartache their delusional fan-base can take. Slightly effeminate pretty-boys with under-developed torsos, cutting their hair and not generating homoerotic blind items, it’s enough to start legions of newly potty-trained fans wetting the bed again. We need to rally round and declare “guyliner” sacred, before that dies out too. Else the world will once again risk drowning in adolescent pee!

This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, who has her own website and everything.

Remember that rumour that Hilary Duff was going to star in 90210? What a ridiculous rumour that was.

Because, please. This is Hilary Duff we’re talking about. Multi-millionaire singer and actress Hilary Duff. She’d never lower herself enough to appear on an embarrassingly self-conscious youth-orientated CW TV show like 90210. That’s absurd.

But luckily, Hilary Duff would lower herself enough to appear on an embarrassingly self-conscious youth-orientated CW TV show like Gossip Girl. So she has. It’s great news for anyone who watches Gossip Girl and actively identifies themselves as a Hilary Duff fan. So that one creepy man must be thrilled.

Have you heard the news? Gossip Girl is where it’s at lately. No, really, it is. It is. Chace Crawford was named as Summer’s Hottest Bachelor by People magazine recently, and he’s in Gossip Girl. And Kelly Rutherford got pregnant last year, and she’s in Gossip Girl. And, um, Michael Jackson died last week and, er, people gossiped about him and he had quite a girlish figure, and OH ALRIGHT, Gossip Girl isn’t where it’s at in the slightest. Gossip Girl’s a slightly rubbishy TV show that we’ll never properly invest in because life is obviously too short.

But all that’s about to change, because very soon Gossip Girl is going to become a slightly rubbishy TV show that we’ll never properly invest in because life is obviously too short that Hilary Duff will briefly appear in. It’s incredible news!

Oh, come on. Hilary Duff. You know who she is. She’s Disney’s discarded Miley Cyrus prototype. You remember. Fights with elderly screen legends a lot. Hilary Duff. Oh, you remember.

No? Well, look, she’s going to be on Gossip Girl soon and that’s that. EW reports:

The actress-designer-pop chanteuse will play Olivia Burke, a movie star who enrolls at NYU in search of a traditional college experience. She ends up rooming with Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) so it’s safe to say she’ll be majoring in Drama! Duff will debut in this season’s fourth episode, slated to air Oct. 5.

We’re genuinely thrilled about Hilary Duff joining the cast of Gossip Girl – it’s literally the holy grail of people we don’t really care about deciding to star in TV shows that we’ve never even watched a single episode of. Well, not literally the holy grail – technically that’d involve Radio One DJ Jo Whiley agreeing to do a multi-episode arc on the FX TV show Sons Of Anarchy – but it’s close enough.

And Hilary Duff shouldn’t worry that recently turned down a spot on 90210 because she’d rather have her own show, only to discover that her own show wasn’t good enough to be picked up by NBC, thereby forcing her to return to 90210’s network with her tail between her legs to accept a spot on a TV show that couldn’t be any more similar to 90210 if it employed Tori Spelling out of a sense of pity. There’s nothing embarrassing about that at all. Ahem.

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So congratulations to Kelly Rutherford, who we’re told is a) a star of Gossip Girl and b) pregnant. We’re not experts on Gossip Girl or pregnancy, but we hear one involves backache, uncontrollable mood swings, a slack bladder, nausea and rabid constipation. The other one is pregnancy.

This will be Kelly Rutherford’s second child, following the birth of her… really, are you still actually reading this? Are people genuinely interested in Kelly Rutherfords’s pregnancy? Weirdos.

There’s a certain step-by-step guide that older American TV actresses need to follow when they get pregnant, because pregnancy at an advance age is fraught with danger. It’s essentially the guide laid out by Marcia Cross from Desperate Housewives, so in the next few months we’re expecting to see 40-year-old Kelly Rutherford from Gossip Girl demand that all her scenes are filmed in her own bed, partly as a safety precaution and partly because she’s embarrassed that the naked photos she took of herself have been leaked onto the internet.

Oh, and also Kelly Rutherford needs to also give her baby a name so stupid that’ll ensure it gets bullied at school, passed over for jobs in adulthood and dies alone and bitter at a tragically young age, but that’s de rigeur for all celebrities anyway, not just middle-aged women off the telly who’ve got themselves knocked up.

But, yes, Kelly Rutherford from Gossip Girl is pregnant. You know, Kelly Rutherford. She plays the mother in Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl, you know. It’s a bit like The OC, except not as many people care about it because we’re all that much older now. Anyway, if you don’t recognise Kelly Rutherford from Gossip Girl, then maybe you’ll recognise her for her role in E-Ring. No? Her role in Threat Matrix? No? Her role in Backflash 2: Angels Don’t Sleep Here? No? Her role in Melrose Place? Anyone?

Oh, anyway, look, someone called Kelly Rutherford is pregnant, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Philly Burbs reports:

Kelly Rutherford is expecting her second child! A rep for the 40-year-old Gossip Girl star says she has a June due date. Kelly also tells people that the Gossip Girl set is very kid friendly so she won’t have to worry what to do with the newborn when she is filming. “We have such a nice set because people bring their kids and their dogs. It looks like we’re running a doggy daycare in the makeup room. It’s really something.”

Regardless of the fact that we don’t really know who she is, we wish Kelly Rutherford all the best for her pregnancy. As she no doubt knows herself, a baby is a like a little unwritten book, and nobody can ever be certain what its life will hold. Maybe it’ll discover the cure for cancer. Maybe it’ll just be content to stay at home and raise a family of its own. Or maybe it’ll become as famous as its mother.

If that last one’s the case, you shouldn’t really bother learning its name, by the way.

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