Impressionists. It’s hard to know whether to laugh at them or kill them by strangling them with their own vocal chords.

Alas, they’re not all idiots. Some are rather good and inventive with it. Of course, most aren’t. Most are jarring nincompoops.

However, one chap has an A-to-Z of celebrity impressions and, while some aren’t too hot, some are really, really great.

In the alphabet of impressions, you’ll hear George Clooney, Matt Damon, Eddie Izzard, Patrick Stewart, Ron Howard, Kevin Spacey and a very, very splendid take on Quentin Tarantino and John Malkovich.

Unless you hate impressionists.

Then you’ll obviously hate this video so hard that it’ll actively give you energy and you’ll stomp around and beat your fists on your head with blind rage.

Or not.

Who cares? Watch this mildly distracting video and make your own stupid mind up.

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Larry David, the man who’s brought us partially ad-libbed cringe comedy for the last THREE HUNDRED YEARS has told ESPN New York that he is still having fun filming Curb Your Enthusiasm. This statement flies in the face of criticism from some corners of the press which suggest that the show has lost its way.

David, responsible for being part of the team that brought us the equally diabolical Seinfeld, in which unlikeable cockhorse Jerry Seinfeld jogged through life in (admittedly wonderful) trainers while making bland observations about everyday occurrences.

This was all while his equally neurotic friends jogged their way miserably through their own lives, somehow finding them enriched by Jerry’s incessant bland observations.

Okay, so we know that Seinfeld wasn’t actually that bad but it’s what you get with hindsight. Angry.

On the subject of ‘Curb’ its creator told ESPN Radio New York host Mike Lupica that he can barely keep a straight face while filming scenes for the show. It must be really hard to see the obvious “bite moment” coming after eight years making a show.

“Well, I’ve always had fun doing the show, and I guess that’s why I keep doing it after eight years… It’s hard for me to do a take without laughing really.”

Yeah. Laughing all the way to the bank! (Sorry)

Curb Your Enthusiasm has previously examined Larry’s adoption plans and a (hopefully fictional) Seinfeld reunion, but David insists that the success of the show’s eighth run may be due to a lack of a story arc. That’s how all successful television works, of  course. By tearing out the story in favour of self-indulgent nonsense from a man who believes you should care about his life. After all, he did Seinfeld.

Not to paint Larry David as a bit of a cock but in a previous interview, he opened up about his personal life, revealing that he went off marriage following his 2007 divorce.

“It would be a silly thing [to marry again]… Why would I do it? Why would I want that contract? I already have kids. The best situation is being a single parent.

“The best part about it is that you get time off too, because the kids are with their mum, so it’s the best of both worlds. There’s a lot to be said for it.”

After all, it’s no father’s prerogative to want to spend as much time as he possibly can with his children. Who wouldn’t want to keep a woman around to win custody and act like an expensive babysitter. After all, Larry needs time off in his busy schedule to remind everyone that he was responsible for Seinfeld!

He had something to do with Seinfeld. Just in case you came close to forgetting. If you forget, Larry David will cut you while you sleep.

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Do you like running around firing off endless rounds of deadly ammo in Arctic tundras, desolate landscapes, hugely lethal alien jungles, grim nuclear wastelands and the cold, dead air of space itself?

Well, if you’re reading that and taking it literally, we suggest you hand yourself into the nearest psychiatric ward.

However, if you thought: ‘Hey! That sounds like a fun computer game to me!‘, then you’re okay by us. And with the help of Killzone 3, which is due for release soon, you’ll be able to run around with guns! And stuff!

This new version of Killzone 3 looks like a cracker and already has team ‘spray gargling and dribbling with anticipation. Basically, this game, exclusive to the PlayStation 3 (sorry everyone who doesn’t own one) is as explosive as the last outings, but a much more cinematic affair, which means, of course, we can replace our dreary lives with this game.

You get to join ISA forces as they continually pop off round after round at those horrible Helghast lot.

And mercifully, you’ll have more vehicles, more weapons (weapons that blow-up, loads) and a particularly vicious close-combat system, which means that, once you get to know your enemy, you can do amazingly horrible things to them and laugh like a cackling lunatic while you do it.

That’s all anyone wants from a video game, right?

Berating you throughout the game is Drill Sergeant McCain who probably really loves you underneath all that shouting and abusing. Why, you can even get him to be nasty to you on Facebook (facebook.com/ultimaterecruit) and Twitter (twitter.com/SergeantMcCain).

BLAMMO!

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Social Networking sites are, to a degree, a way of staying in touch with people you know or, more likely, people you’ve met on various blogs and forums and don’t fancy meeting them in real life, despite wondering what they really look like. That, or it’s just one massive skive where you can bitch about your boss/idiot co-workers.

However, for every good thing about social networking sites, there’s a million annoyances. People inviting you to awful groups, stuff to do with growing imaginary ducks on a farm, stupid hashtag games and a million messages from something called formspring. It’s enough to make you want to kill. Well, instead of killing humans or writing passive aggressive updates, why not take your anger out on the sites themselves and blap staples in them until they’re dead? That’s exactly what you can do on the mindless shoot-out of Social Networking Wars. Sadly, you’re not allowed to kill all your colleagues in this game.

Click here to play Social Networking Wars

This reminds us of an episode of The Simpsons.

Marge is trying to the kids to do the gardening, but they refuse on the grounds it’s boring – later in the same episode Bart gets really excited when he sees a videogame called ‘Virtual Gardener’ or something along those lines, and rushes to play.

Great joke, of course. And then you get confronted with Throw Paper, and you feel a bit guilty. Because you’re doing the same thing. Instead of actually throwing paper balls into a wastebasket, you’re doing it virtually, on your computer.

But enough of the irony/comedy/forgetting classic moments of The Simpsons – this is a classic, addictive and fun game to waste a good few minutes on. Or hours, if you have that compulsive a personality.

Throw the paper, compensate for wind speed, get as many in the bin in a row as you can.

And that’s it.

Play Throw Paper Here:

Throw Paper

Jamie Lynn Spears was raised in a totally different environment to the rest of us, so she obviously has her own idea of what’s fun.

So what does Jamie Lynn Spears think is fun? Sport? Watching TV, maybe? No – according to Jamie Lynn Spears, being a constant slave to a screaming little fleshbag that’s stolen the rest of your life and won’t respond to reason or logic is fun.

We’re referring, of course, to Jamie Lynn Spears’ new baby. Jamie Lynn has been frothing and fizzing about how brilliant it is to be a teenage mother to OK! as part of a $1 million deal with the magazine that’s thought to include rights to interviews, baby photos and the inevitable ‘I hate my baby and wish it was never born’ postnatal depression exclusive, pencilled in for Christmas.

There’s nothing that thrusts someone into maturity quite as fast as parenthood. Take Britney Spears for example. Before she gave birth to her first baby, Britney was a slip of a girl who couldn’t be trusted to make any decision for herself. But since she became a mother, Britney Spears has… no, wait, bad example.

Let’s take her sister Jamie Lynn Spears instead, then. True, Jamie Lynn may have shocked the world by getting pregnant while she was still at school to an older boy she met at church, but that mistake of hers has resulted in the creation of a new life that, while technically a Spears, still almost qualifies as completely human.

Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to her little bundle of sexual irresponsibility, a little girl named Maddie, last month. Since having her baby, Jamie Lynn Spears has been quietly sheltering it from media attention by raising it in Mississippi with her boyfriend, who may or may not be a ‘lying, cheating dog‘.

But now that baby Maddie is past that that all-important ’10 days old’ mark, Jamie Lynn Spears has rightly guessed that now’s a good enough time to run screaming to the nearest magazine and blab endlessly about the tot for cash.

Which she has – this week’s OK! magazine has a cover featuring Jamie Lynn Spears and her new baby, and an interview with the new mother inside.

But before you start getting all judgmental about how it’s morally wrong to sell out a baby to a magazine when it’s too young to give its consent, think again.

Ever since she announced her pregnancy, Jamie Lynn Spears has had to battle presumptions that she’s too young to become a mother, and this OK! interview was the perfect chance for her to explain her feelings in a measured, well thought-out manner that would leave nobody questioning her emotional maturity.

So, Jamie Lynn Spears, the floor is yours. What profound insights can you give us on the subject of motherhood?

“I love taking care of her. It is so much fun. I just want to hug her and kiss her, and I’m happy all the time.”

Oh.

Well, never mind. Don’t forget that Jamie Lynn Spears is still only 17 years old, so you can’t expect her to be able to verbalise her thoughts as lucidly as others. Besides, it looks very much like Jamie Lynn Spears wants to be a full-time mother, and that means she won’t be starring in any more rubbishy TV shows. That baby really is a blessing.

So let’s just congratulate Jamie Lynn Spears on her new baby and pray it never succumbs to the mental illness issues that have plagued other members of her family.

We don’t really need to explain this one to you. Suffice to say: get ready for the esteem with which you may hold the human race to drop a notch.