FlashForward is Channel 5’s hot new US TV show that literally some people are talking about.

The writers of FlashForward came up with the idea while cleaning their kitchen surfaces and thought to themselves, “Goodness! I wish I could fast-forward this arduous task!” A two minute pause followed. “Hold on…Flash kitchen cleaner, Fast-Forward…..FlashForward!”

Handily, that’s also the premise of this new Lost-esque sort of sci-fi, but definitely action/drama, genre series.

Everyone across the world loses consciousness for two minutes, sees a glimpse of their future, and then wakes up. The writers decided not to wake up, but instead bring FlashForward to the present for us all to see, signal permitting, on Five.

Joseph Fiennes plays serious agent Mark Benford of the F-ing B.I. It’s not all plain sailing though we’re afraid; he’s also a recovering alcoholic. Jack “For everything else there’s Mastercard” Davenport is also starring, along with Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. A veritable feast of people you sort of recognise but aren’t really sure why.

In reality, it is safe to say that most people would wake up from this two-minute premonition with their face in jelly, on their keyboard, or on the floor of WH Smiths. But in US TV world, most if not all aeroplanes have fallen from the sky, Big Ben’s clock face is on fire for no discernible reason, and yet we bet the bloody X Factor would still be on.

If you already watch Five’s only decent programme (that’s The Gadget Show, not Fort Boyard), FlashForward is on immediately afterwards, so you might as well watch it, eh?

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter

Like movie stars and music moguls, television people like nothing better than an evening of expensive outfits, impressive golden statuettes changing hands, and beautiful faces all sitting around telling one another just how brilliant they all are at their jobs. It’s only a shame that such wonderful nights out don’t stretch into normal jobs.

We shall only ever dream of a day when undervalued stone masons and building site skivvies get to breeze around outside hotels shouting details of their suits/blouses to hysterical reporters. What a great day that would be.

Last night it was the 61st edition of The Emmy Awards, so everyone who couldn’t quite cut it on the big screen turned up, their skin soft and shiny, their hair just about achieving the perfection they demand. Embarrassingly, practically all of the males in attendance turned up in the same dinner-suit-plus-tie outfit. The women, meanwhile, shimmered and sparkled like fireworks at an eighteen year old boy’s impromptu bonfire night party in the back garden with most of his friends. Seriously. They looked that amazing. 

The big cock-punch of the evening went to the gigantic throbbing minds behind Family Guy, who were hoping to become one of the first cartoons to snaffle the Best Comedy gong. There’s a whisper that The Flintstones did it about sixty years ago, or something. But it wasn’t to be. Instead, the cheerful 30 Rock gang were awarded their third in a row, meaning that the show’s creator, Tina Fey, can now think about giving her Emmy’s a hilarious nickname – like The Bee Gees, or ZZ Top. Or any other band that consists of three members. She’ll have fun with that. She’s a creative woman. She loves challenges.

On the downside for Fey, she did lose out in the battle of the women with four-letter names beginning with T, when Toni Collette took the grand prize as Most Fantastic Actress Making Everyone Laugh in a Comedy. For those not up on these things, she stars as a bonkers maniac in a show called United States of Tara. Well done her. Luckily for the 30 Rock crew, Alec Baldwin did make up for the howling disappointment of it all by winning the male version of the same prize.

Elsewhere, Mad Men – the tale of men smoking at work, and the sexy ginger one convincing timid secretaries to have it off with their bosses – was declared Greatest Drama. Glenn Close, who will be forever remembered as the recipient of the full Michael Douglas tongue in Fatal Attraction, triumphed as a dramatic actor, as did Bryan Cranston, who was repeatedly overlooked for his stunning work in Malcolm in The Middle. The Academy – or whoever it is – is clearly making up for that now. He won for Breaking Bad.

Here’s what Jessica Lange said at one point during the evening:

“I can’t believe I’m standing here.”

You tell them, sister!

Like this? Then check out more of Josh at Interestment. Go! Do it!

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter

When news broke that Cleveland from Family Guy was getting a spin off show, it caused a flurry of reactions.

Some thought that the idea would suck donkey balls whilst others embraced the decision to make Seth McFarlane a little bit richer.

After months of speculation about this project ever seeing the light of day, a trailer has popped up for us to laugh at or complain about. Do we have the promo embedded in this story? Of course we do, and after the jump you’ll be able to watch it! That’s unless you’ve probably already seen it somewhere else.

Of course, the trailer wouldn’t be complete with something semi-offensive for people to complain about. Hooray for comedy racism but it’ll no doubt shake the leaves of people who have been removed of a sense of humour.

Using our rubbish powers of observation, not having much information to go on other then this trailer and without cheating via looking things up on Wikipedia we have concluded that:

* Cleveland leaves Farmington, will realise it’s shit and then probably come back. Though this might not happen until people complain the spin-off is rubbish and affects the main show.

* A talking bear won’t bother anyone into thinking things are slightly surreal.

* The fat child will already have pages of abusive jokes written about him.

* It’s quite likely they’ll be no explanation as to who Cleveland’s new family is.

* The Cleveland Brown show won’t be as popular as Family Guy.

* Quagmire will try and shag the teenage daughter that Cleveland is living with at some point.

* There’ll be a giant chicken fight at some point.

However, we do notice something strange at the very end of the trailer. We’re told that the series isn’t going to premire until ‘this fall’. Are our American chums being cruel and waiting for some high powered Fox executive to fall over before showing it? Who do they want to fall over? Why are we so confused? The creators of the show are quite literally holding us to ransom until we wait for someone to trip up or fall over.

Shocking.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

9 – Who wants to come here with us? It looks incredible - Jellymongers

8 - Octopuses: not only terrifying but POISONOUS – Livescience

7 - Gay babies. That’s all. Gay babies – Gay-Babies

6 - Ha ha ha, Rupert Everett’s face. Ha ha ha – Bestweekever

5 - A nice list of terrifying places to drive a car - Forbestraveler

4 – There’s going to be Family Guy movie. And it’s going to be live action – Killerfilm

3 – A selection of reasons why getting a unicorn tattoo makes you a gigantic bellend – Holytaco

2 – Can someone please buy us this set of robot legs? Thanks - I Am Bored

1 - Dogs are atheists. Who knew…

But nothing – not even the hideous sight of Fred Durst pulling the camera round to his own face at the point of orgasm, could prepare us for this – it’s a Family Guy sex tape, and it’s possibly the most stomach-churning thing we’ve ever seen in our entire lives.

The above clip includes scenes of sex, anal sex, S&M sex, rimming, threesomes, topless rodeo, man-on-man-on-man-on-man action, incest, bestiality, gagging and simulated fellatio, whilst also throwing some force-feeding into the mix. It is, therefore, advisable that you don’t watch it at work, or after eating, or before eating. Or during eating for that matter. Especially during eating, now we mention it.

Unless the spin-off of which you speak belongs to Cleveland Brown of Family Guy fame. He, apparently, is on the threshold of carrying his own show.

Family Guy, the show that occasionally battles the Simpsons, gets featured in video games and sometimes returns from the dead, is gonna be torn in two like an earth worm who's bottom half is getting it's own television spinoff.

Wikipedia is wise and knows all things, let us then consult it for further enlightenment on these matters:

"During a live broadcast of "Loveline," Seth MacFarlane announced that a spin-off featuring Cleveland was currently in the works with the studio and writers."

The Hollywood Reporter seems quite knowledgeable about the whole thing too:

"The project, tentatively titled "Cleveland," is being written by "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, Mike Henry — who voices Cleveland and serves as writer-producer on the series — and "The Simpsons" alum Rich Appel, executive producer/showrunner on MacFarlane's other animated comedy for Fox, "American Dad.""

Now if we had our pick as to spin-offs we'd like to see, Mike Seaver's gym coach would take a low-paying job in California, thus having to move his entire giant family out there for weekly antics-galore. Also we'd have a show called Joey.

He'd move to California too.

Read More:

"Cleveland" On Map As "Family Guy" Spin-Off – Reuters