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dead celebrities

Heath Ledger Might Have A Secret Love Child Knocking Around

by Stuart Heritage

You never know when you’ll die, but we have a feeling that we’ll be around for a few more years thanks to our lack of illegitimate love children.

Because, without an illegitimate love child there’ll be nobody around to contest our will and heap even more emotional suffering on our already distraught loved ones. And that’s as big a part of death as toe-tags and scratching on the inside of your coffin at your own funeral.

Luckily though, Heath Ledger was ready for death because if reports are to be believed, Heath Ledger fathered an illegitimate love child when he was 17. Now, finally, perhaps people can start gracelessly squabbling over Heath’s estate in a way that’s uncomfortable to watch. About time too, if you ask us.

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Keith Richards: ‘Amy Winehouse Will Be Dead Soon’

by C J Davies

Sometimes you’ve just got to stop and take stock.

If a Formula One driver tutted and shook his head at you as you sped through a housing estate, for example, you’d probably think it a wise move to step off the accelerator. On a similar note, if Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards – a man who has ingested more drugs than six generations of lab monkeys – told you that you were dabbling in the ol’ excess a bit too much, you’d give serious thought to putting the crackpipe down.

It remains to be seen whether Amy Winehouse will curb her naughty druggy activities, however. Keith Richards, you see, has revealed that – while Amy is the only modern pop star he actually admires – she’ll more than likely be pushing up the daisies before too long unless she gives those narcotics a rest.

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Beatle Chum Maharishi Mahesh Yogi Dies At 91

by Stuart Heritage

The term ‘fifth Beatle’ gets thrown around a lot – some say it was George Martin, some say it was Stuart Sutcliffe, some say it was Brian Epstein – but what about Maharishi Mahesh Yogi?

After all, it was Maharishi Mahesh Yogi who introduced The Beatles to Transcendental Meditation and is therefore responsible for that rubbish George Harrison song on Sgt Pepper that everyone skips. Is Maharishi Mahesh Yogi the fifth Beatle, or even the sixth Beatle, or the 18th Beatle?

No. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi is none of these things. Because he’s just died.

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Jeremy Beadle is dead

by David Schwartz

TV prankster Jeremy Beadle has died, aged 59. The popular TV presenter passed away on Wednesday after being admitted to hospital last week with pneumonia.  Beadle had been suffering with poor health since being diagnosed with leukaemia almost three years ago. He was best known for presenting popular shows such as Game for a Laugh [...]

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Nigella Lawson To Let Her Kids Grow Up Penniless

by Stuart Heritage

Nigella Lawson and her husband share a wealth of about £110 million, but her kids can piss off if they think they’re seeing any of it.

In a recent interview, Nigella Lawson has stated that she’s refusing to leave her children any money in her will, because she thinks that rich kids are arseholes and that not earning money “ruins people.”

Nigella Lawson married a man worth £100 million and lives in his £7 million Belgravia mansion. And her dad used to be Chancellor Of The Exchequer. We’re just saying.

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Heath Ledger: Jack Nicholson Hates To Say He Told You So

by Stuart Heritage

Hindsight’s a bitch – it’s easy to wonder how different things would be if Hitler got more hugs or someone said “No Jamie Lynn, not without a condom.”

But someone who has no time for hindsight is Jack Nicholson. Though it’s natural for people close to Heath Ledger to ask themselves if they could have done anything differently to stop his death, Jack Nicholson doesn’t have to.

That’s because Jack Nicholson says he warned Heath Ledger about taking sleeping pills. And if things are bad enough for Jack Nicholson to warn you about stuff…

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Heath Ledger’s Apartment Apparently Full Of Drugs

by Stuart Heritage

Heath Ledger’s initial autopsy might not have thrown up any clues as to why he died, but NYPD sources might have put their finger on one possible answer.

According to TMZ, five different types of pills were found in the apartment where Heath Ledger died – all prescibed to him – including Valium, Lorazepam, Xanax and two different types of sleeping pills.

However, while we await the toxicology report that’s due late last week, pneumonia has been resolutely ruled out as a cause of Heath Ledger’s sudden death.

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Heath Ledger’s Autopsy To Take Place Today

by Stuart Heritage

While the world is still trying to get its head around yesterday’s sudden death of Heath Ledger, it’s already time to start figuring out exactly what killed him.

The autopsy on Heath Ledger’s body will take place today, meaning that it shouldn’t be long before we know which of the conflicting stories about Heath Ledger’s death – was it suicide? An accidental overdose? Pneumonia? – is most accurate.

Meanwhile, tributes have been pouring in from Heath’s admirers, friends and family.

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NEWSFLASH: Heath Ledger Is Dead, Overdose Suspected

by David Schwartz

Heath Ledger has been found dead in his Manhattan apartment. The unconcious body of the 28-year-old Aussie actor was discovered by his housekeeper on Tuesday afternoon. Heath Ledger has been found dead in his Manhattan apartment. The unconcious body of the 28-year-old Aussie actor was discovered by his housekeeper on Tuesday afternoon.

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Ike Turner: Dead

by Stuart Heritage

Ike Turner – the man who invented rock and roll but is best known for that film where Laurence Fishburne dressed up as him and punched a woman – has died.

Although no cause of death has been stated, it’s thought that Ike Turner was suffering from emphysema. He was 76. Drug addict, jailbird, wife-beater and the man who made Tina Turner a star – therefore ultimately responsible for Steamy Windows – Ike Turner had a hell of a lot to answer for, but the stamp that Ike Turner left on music will be remembered forever.

OK, we’re just saying that because we’re scared of Ike Turner’s ghost beating us up in our sleep. Really, have you seen What’s Love Got To Do With It?

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