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Courtney Love

WEBTHUMP! Tuesday 12 May 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Courtney Love’s Twitter feed put through Babelfish – Mychemicaltoilet

9 – MANBABIES! – Manbabies

8 – More Keyboard Cat than you could ever wish for. Brilliant – Playhimoffkeyboardcat

7 – Man apologises for Oprah’s KFC blunder in a sinister accent – Amygrindhouse

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Courtney Love Plays Mad-Eyed Cupid For Robert Pattinson

by Stuart Heritage

Robert Pattinson, as the whole world already knows, is the dreamiest plank of balsa wood on the planet.

But this dreaminess comes at a cost. Everywhere Robert Pattinson turns, he’s confronted by a wall of screaming, knicker-wetting teenage girls in too much eyeliner who appear to think he’s a cross between Jesus and The Beatles, rather than the personality-free stupid-haired toff that he actually is.

Or, worse still, Robert Pattinson has to put up with mothers constantly trying to set him up with their daughters. Slightly deranged-looking mothers. Who look like they probably smell a bit. Courtney Love, basically.

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People Who Still Use MySpace Can Clean Courtney Love’s House For Money. Take That Facebook

by Shawn Lindseth

Are you generally considered clean? Do you enjoy the smell of peroxide? Do you ever float Indian style in your kitchen while that one nice black lady delivers a monologue about shiny floors? Are you pretty good at getting 14-year-old bloodstains off of mostly ceilings but probably a little bit off of the upper walls? [...]

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Frail Courtney Love Looking Even Scarier Than Usual

by hecklerspray staff

FROM DIETPIXIE – We didn’t think it was possible, but Courtney Love this week became even more scary.

The controversial singer raised concerns about her health when she went shopping in LA wearing a 1920s see-through lace dress and looking like a bag of bones.

Sure, health scares and Courtney Love is not a new thing. Just like the words ‘Courtney Love’ and ‘scary’ are no strangers either.

Read the rest of this entry (link opens in new window) >>

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Kurt Cobain’s Remains Toddle Off For A Jolly Summer Holiday

by Matthew Laidlow

When we found out that Kurt Cobain’s remains had been nicked, we immediately jumped to one conclusion – that his husky ex-wife Courtney Love had to be involved.

Surely you can imagine her grave robbing at 3am whilst the rain lashes down? With a cigarette firmly shoved in her cakehole, she’ll scream to any passing squirrels “he’s mine all mine, they blamed me for his death. But they’re wrong! I’ll take him back where he belongs”. You can’t? Oh, shame on you.

We can, and yet our theory of Courtney Love scurrying off in the dead of the night to stuff and mount her dead husband was quickly shit on. It turns out that during a robbery in her LA home, the ashes of grunge’s only credible frontman were nicked. And some clothes and jewellery, lets not forget the small details. Maybe it was Dave Grohl being bonkers as usual and wanting to impersonate her. Drummers, mental aren’t they?

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Kurt Cobain’s Zombie Identity Stolen… By Thieves!

by Shawn Lindseth

Kurt Cobain has the easiest job in the world. All he has to do is blow around on a puff of cloud while looking like cremated-people ash, and he’s still making a financial killing. A financial killing is actually a delightful change of pace when you consider what he killed last time. Anybody?

Anybody?

To be true, it’s actually Kurt’s social security number that’s making all the money right now – because somebody apparently stole it. And they’ve compiled quite a list of acquisitions with the number too – two copies of Celebrity Skin, a Red Box rental for Man On The Moon, lots rehab lunches… the list really does go on.

Or maybe Courtney Love had nothing to do with the theft of Cobain’s Social. Perhaps our sources are getting crossed.

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