Articles tagged with: Christian Bale
Tropic Thunder Beats The Dark Knight Thanks to Blacked-up Retards
Well it certainly took long enough but The Dark Knight has finally fallen, to the might of Tropic Thunder and its wall of controversy. While we all thought we would have to live in a world where no other films would ever get anywhere near The Dark Knight - a world where daily recitals of The Joker's best speeches were made to be recited every morning in our schools, where every car is replaced with a Batmobile and where Morgan Freeman is elected King of Everything (with Christian Bale as his alleged muscle, obviously) - we have been proven wrong. We worried for a while, but fortunately the 'Greatest Film of All Time(tm)' has been dethroned by Ben Stiller, Jack Black and a blacked-up Robert Downey Jr. And it's sure to make the latter quite happy about it.
Well it certainly took long enough but The Dark Knight has finally fallen, to the might of Tropic Thunder and its wall of controversy. While we all thought we would have to live in a world where no other films would ever get anywhere near The Dark Knight - a world where daily recitals of The Joker's best speeches were made to be recited every morning in our schools, where every car is replaced with a Batmobile and where Morgan Freeman is elected King of Everything (with Christian Bale as his alleged muscle, obviously) - we have been proven wrong. We worried for a while, but fortunately the 'Greatest Film of All Time(tm)' has been dethroned by Ben Stiller, Jack Black and a blacked-up Robert Downey Jr. And it's sure to make the latter quite happy about it.
Batman 3 is Coming Out Soon! No, Wait – ‘Not’ Soon.
It looks like there's going to be a fair wait until Batman 3 pops its fat head out for us all to see. The sequel to the Best Film Ever(tm) that has made more money than the GDP of many African nations combined, The Dark Knight, will get a sequel at some point. On one hand, who would blame the studio? It's a licence to print money. On the same hand but slightly tilted, the vast majority of people who have seen the first two films actually want a sequel, seeing as both Batman Begins and the more recent helping were utterly brilliant. Oh, plus Christian Bale isn't going to be put in the slammer for three hundred years, or thereabouts. But David S. Goyer, writer of the screenplay for both films, has other things to do for quite a while, so you plebians are going to have to wait a while for your next hit of Gotham's favourite vigilante.
It looks like there's going to be a fair wait until Batman 3 pops its fat head out for us all to see. The sequel to the Best Film Ever(tm) that has made more money than the GDP of many African nations combined, The Dark Knight, will get a sequel at some point. On one hand, who would blame the studio? It's a licence to print money. On the same hand but slightly tilted, the vast majority of people who have seen the first two films actually want a sequel, seeing as both Batman Begins and the more recent helping were utterly brilliant. Oh, plus Christian Bale isn't going to be put in the slammer for three hundred years, or thereabouts. But David S. Goyer, writer of the screenplay for both films, has other things to do for quite a while, so you plebians are going to have to wait a while for your next hit of Gotham's favourite vigilante.
Christian Bale Assault Charges Result in Ultimate Punishment. That, or Just a Caution
Christian Bale looks likely to get away with allegedly pushing his mum about, if he pleads guilty to assault. The Welshman, who no one seems to realise is Welsh, has been recommended to receive a caution by the Crown Prosecution Service for his alleged actions, should he plead guilty to charges next month. If, however, he pleads not guilty then he could be looking at more severe penalties, all according to the bastion of truth, honour and glory that is The Sun newspaper. Though, let's be honest here - he probably wouldn't be looking at any really severe charges. A fine, a slap on the wrist and a bruised ego, leaving the Baler ready to take on Terminator 4 and Batman 3. Unless the authorities were to decide on making an example of him and imprisoned him for life - alledgely pushing your mum and sister about is no laughing matter, after all. Especially when they apparently want money from you.
Christian Bale looks likely to get away with allegedly pushing his mum about, if he pleads guilty to assault. The Welshman, who no one seems to realise is Welsh, has been recommended to receive a caution by the Crown Prosecution Service for his alleged actions, should he plead guilty to charges next month. If, however, he pleads not guilty then he could be looking at more severe penalties, all according to the bastion of truth, honour and glory that is The Sun newspaper. Though, let's be honest here - he probably wouldn't be looking at any really severe charges. A fine, a slap on the wrist and a bruised ego, leaving the Baler ready to take on Terminator 4 and Batman 3. Unless the authorities were to decide on making an example of him and imprisoned him for life - alledgely pushing your mum and sister about is no laughing matter, after all. Especially when they apparently want money from you.
Morgan Freeman Gets More (More) Bad News
Morgan Freeman has been struck by the evil curse of The Dark Knight yet again. So we may have been a little sceptical about the whole 'curse' thing ever since the term started getting bandied around, but on this evidence it's hard not to think that maybe, just maybe there are nefarious forces at work. Just days after having a serious car accident, Morgan Freeman and his wife of 24 years are to get a divorce. According to a friend of Freeman, the divorce had been in the works for a while before the accident even occurred - so don't go accusing Morgan of having a relationship with Demaris Meyer, the passenger in his car during the accident, that was anything beyond platonic friendship. We thought about it - purely for comedy effect, of course - but libel is too big a word.
Morgan Freeman has been struck by the evil curse of The Dark Knight yet again. So we may have been a little sceptical about the whole 'curse' thing ever since the term started getting bandied around, but on this evidence it's hard not to think that maybe, just maybe there are nefarious forces at work. Just days after having a serious car accident, Morgan Freeman and his wife of 24 years are to get a divorce. According to a friend of Freeman, the divorce had been in the works for a while before the accident even occurred - so don't go accusing Morgan of having a relationship with Demaris Meyer, the passenger in his car during the accident, that was anything beyond platonic friendship. We thought about it - purely for comedy effect, of course - but libel is too big a word.
The Dark Knight Makes Even More Money. Not That We’re Jealous or Anything…
The Dark Knight has only ruddy well gone and done it again. No, not struck down another member of the cast or crew with the 'curse', which is apparently floating around these days. The film has gone and broken the record for the fastest $400 million in box office history, making the money in a frankly ridiculous 18 days. Imagine making four hundred million dollars in 18 days. How many tricks you'd have to pull to draw in that amount... it's hard to take in. Though it would also be hard to take in if you pulled $400 million-worth of tricks, let's be honest here. But at least it shows that maybe, just maybe, Christopher Nolan's film is living up to its reputation, even with the extra bits of accidental hype popping up here and there.
The Dark Knight has only ruddy well gone and done it again. No, not struck down another member of the cast or crew with the 'curse', which is apparently floating around these days. The film has gone and broken the record for the fastest $400 million in box office history, making the money in a frankly ridiculous 18 days. Imagine making four hundred million dollars in 18 days. How many tricks you'd have to pull to draw in that amount... it's hard to take in. Though it would also be hard to take in if you pulled $400 million-worth of tricks, let's be honest here. But at least it shows that maybe, just maybe, Christopher Nolan's film is living up to its reputation, even with the extra bits of accidental hype popping up here and there.
Morgan Freeman Has a Car Accident: is ‘Recovering’
Unfortunately, it's not a DVD outtake for Driving Miss Daisy - that would be much easier to make light of. No - Morgan Freeman is the latest to be involved in the so-called 'curse' of The Dark Knight, after he was involved in a car accident on Sunday night, which officials referred to as 'serious'. The 71-year-old actor will require surgery on a shattered elbow, as well as time for other less serious injuries to his neck and shoulder to heal. While initial reports said Freeman was in a serious state, these have since rescinded and he is expected to make a comfortable, if slow, recovery from his injuries.
Unfortunately, it's not a DVD outtake for Driving Miss Daisy - that would be much easier to make light of. No - Morgan Freeman is the latest to be involved in the so-called 'curse' of The Dark Knight, after he was involved in a car accident on Sunday night, which officials referred to as 'serious'. The 71-year-old actor will require surgery on a shattered elbow, as well as time for other less serious injuries to his neck and shoulder to heal. While initial reports said Freeman was in a serious state, these have since rescinded and he is expected to make a comfortable, if slow, recovery from his injuries.
Christian Bale Went Spazzy Over Sister Cash Request: Claim
Christian Bale is easily our method actor of the week - his dedication to clown-beating even extends to his own clown mother, for God's sake. But, in all of this possibly-illegal motherclown-beating kerfuffle, one question has stood out above all others - what makes a newly-minted megastar like Christian Bale start whaling on his mother and sister on the happiest day of his life? Turns out the reason might be cash. According to reports today, Christian Bale kicked off after his sister asked him for £100,000 to help raise her three children. Frankly we're disgusted - doesn't Christian Bale know that all children have the right to receive occasional gifts of more than the average British annual working wage that their mother has managed to guilt out of their moviestar uncle? Shame on you, Mr Bale. Shame on you indeed.
Christian Bale is easily our method actor of the week - his dedication to clown-beating even extends to his own clown mother, for God's sake. But, in all of this possibly-illegal motherclown-beating kerfuffle, one question has stood out above all others - what makes a newly-minted megastar like Christian Bale start whaling on his mother and sister on the happiest day of his life? Turns out the reason might be cash. According to reports today, Christian Bale kicked off after his sister asked him for £100,000 to help raise her three children. Frankly we're disgusted - doesn't Christian Bale know that all children have the right to receive occasional gifts of more than the average British annual working wage that their mother has managed to guilt out of their moviestar uncle? Shame on you, Mr Bale. Shame on you indeed.
Christian Bale Becomes New Superhero: Bailman
Method acting must be great - it provides a surefire way of behaving like something of an idiot in polite society. That is, unless you decide to go home and assault your mum and sister, as it was alleged Christian Bale had gone and done yesterday. That takes things a bit far, away from the Pacino not talking to people unless they address his character 'slight mentalness' and well into the zone of 'whoops he may well just be a bit odd in the head'. But rejoice! For the Baler has bailed out of the cop shop pending further questioning! Though that does mean he may go and strike again, if he did do anything in the first place. God knows the tabloids warn us of these repeat offenders in Gordon Brown's Britain.
Method acting must be great - it provides a surefire way of behaving like something of an idiot in polite society. That is, unless you decide to go home and assault your mum and sister, as it was alleged Christian Bale had gone and done yesterday. That takes things a bit far, away from the Pacino not talking to people unless they address his character 'slight mentalness' and well into the zone of 'whoops he may well just be a bit odd in the head'. But rejoice! For the Baler has bailed out of the cop shop pending further questioning! Though that does mean he may go and strike again, if he did do anything in the first place. God knows the tabloids warn us of these repeat offenders in Gordon Brown's Britain.
