Let's say you're a movie studio and the insanely profitable series of books you've been adapting for six years is coming to an end – how do you keep the money flowing?
Simple – you start charging people twice to see one story. If reports are to be believed then Warner Bros is keen on chopping the Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows movie into two separate films, possibly with Steven Spielberg directing.
Halving the last Harry Potter would make sense, because one film could focus on the battle with Voldemort and the other could deal with the part where – spoiler alert – Harry Potter jets to Venus to fight the space piranhas.
The Harry Potter train is finally rattling to a standstill, and the statistics are mighty impressive. For instance, if you collected all the copies of Harry Potter novels ever sold and dropped them on JK Rowling's head, she'd die instantly. And if you pulled out the eyes of everyone who's seen a Harry Potter film, you'd be able to make the world's longest, most disgusting necklace.
But the trouble is that nobody wants Harry Potter to end. The Harry Potter fans want to know what happens to Harry after the ending of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows when – spoiler alert – Harry Potter pulls a unicorn's head off and kisses it with tongues. And JK Rowling has admitted that she'll probably write another Harry Potter book before long, which is great if you like that sort of thing.
But Warner Bros doesn't like that sort of thing – it wants to churn out Harry Potter movies forever because, even though only one of them was any good, the kids go nuts for them. All five of the Harry Potter movies are in the top 20 all-time box office list, so the demand is clearly still huge. But there are just two more Harry Potter movies to go and not everyone will be able to go to the Harry Potter theme park, so the studio has reportedly come across a cunning plan to keep the money rolling in.
Alongside reports that Steven Spielberg and Guillermo Del Toro are keen on filming Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, it's been claimed that the final Harry Potter book will be turned into two movies, a little like the Matrix sequels. Because we all know how ace they were, right? A source told the Mail On Sunday:
"There's so much to fit that the view is the last movie should be in two halves. There is a huge battle when Harry, played by Daniel Radcliffe, takes on Voldemort that needs to be done really well."
Yeah, we're sure that the source must have been a real high-ranker. So high-ranking that they felt the need to explain the name of the actor who plays Harry Potter, even though everyone's already seen his penis.
But whoever takes on Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – and however many movies the story spans – it's important that the film doesn't leave fans who have bought all the books and watched all the movies feeling disappointed. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows needs to be done well, especially the bit where Harry Potter beats Voldemort and grows older in peace and has children of his own.
Oh, spoiler alert.
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kashif naseem says
god, what a amusing little article about Harry Potter!!! so ridiculous, i am pretty much sure that the guy who wrote it is definitely eaten by jealousy cuz of the fame of Harry Potter!