HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Harry Potter Gets His Magical Winky Out

By Stuart Heritage

Harry Potter Naked Daniel Radcliffe Equus play penis horsesWe've known this day was coming for months now, and yet no amount of time could fully prepare us mentally for the horror of seeing Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe standing around naked next to a horse he's about to do in with a great big metal spike.

But that's what's happened. Daniel Radcliffe's in-no-way kneejerk decision to go from playing wholesome kiddie wizard Harry Potter to some deranged naked boy who stabs horses in the eyes in a new stage run of Equus has resulted in the first publicity shots from Equus being published all over the place. And what does Harry Potter look like naked, psychologically berserk and standing next to a horse that he's about to stab in the eye while simultaneously worshipping it as some kind of horse-god and forcing a policeman to dream that he's ritually pulling the beating hearts out of hundreds of screaming children? We'll tell you just as soon as we've stopped crying and working out just what the hell we're doing with our lives.

This is a tough time for Harry Potter fans. The final Harry Potter book – Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – is simply a title and nothing more, and it'll be months before we can see Harry Potter kissing a girl in the new Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix movie. So what are the legions of Harry Potter fans to do? Daniel Radcliffe has the answer – they can all go and see him prance around a stage with his cock out stabbing horses in the eye with a metal spike in a play so thematically complex that it barely fits into modern notions of drama.

Of course, Equus isn't the first non-Harry Potter role for Daniel Radcliffe – he also played a young boy sent off to war in a TV production of My Boy Jack, but that didn't involve him getting his cock or bum out, so it probably doesn't count. 

Ever since the Harry Potter naked horsey play Equus was announced last summer, opinions have been split over Daniel Radcliffe's decision to play the character its Alan. Some have said that playing a disturbed boy who mutilates horses in the nude as a subconscious outcry for the power of the soul in an increasingly normalised and mechanised world will ultimately set Radcliffe free from the chains that typify a child-star's career in the post-adolescent age, and others have said "Urrrr! You can see Harry Potter's knob! That's fucking disgusting!"

And now the world can see exactly what Daniel Radcliffe will look like in Equus, as the stunningly opportunistic beautifully staged publicity photos for Equus have been released. To accompany them, Equus producer David Pugh has been talking about Daniel Radcliffe. Did Pugh mention the versatility that Radcliffe displayed when asked to humanise the dichotomy of a boy who who is so aroused by horses that he is then forced to torture them? Did he comment on the moral dilemma at the heart of the play concerning the treatment of the mentally ill? No. He started talking about how big Daniel Radcliffe's penis is:

"We had never seen him with his clothes off before. We all went 'Wow!' There was no hesitancy about taking his clothes off. He has a confidence in his own appearance. When that boy takes his shirt off, Harry Potter has flown out of Hogwarts for good."

Urgh, creepy. Despite all this, though, Equus is a good play that deserves to be seen by all, from the spectacular ending to Act One where Daniel Radcliffe plays My Boy Lollipop on a makeshift xylophone made out of horses' eyes and a stabbing spike to the oft-discussed ambiguity of the closing line: "I'm gonna stab some fucking horses! I'm gonna stab 'em right in the eye! In the bloody nude!"

Equus opens next month. You could book tickets now, or alternatively wait until the inevitable nude Harry Potter pictures crop up on the internet and save yourself some money.

Read more:

My, Harry, You Have Grown Up – Mirror  

Comments

  1. Pobetter says

    Thank Christ – an article about Equus that doesn’t contain lots of creepy references to a teenager’s penis. I mean it does, but given the amount of horse-eye xylophone references it sorta balances out

  3. Mark says

    Wow, talk about a childish, rubbish piece of news. It seems that so many adults (if you call yourself one) have a problem with this. Take a look at music videos or anything else on TV & you can see so much more. My god what a prude.

    All I can say is grow up!

  4. James says

    It’s nothing about being a prude you idiot. Maybe you should read the article again and a bit slower this time.

  5. Susan says

    Oh, grow up! Please! Have you read or seen the award winnning play or the flim?
    It’s called drama, a physiological drama. It’s is meant to be disturbing.
    Do you realize that Harry Potter is a fictional character and that Daniel Radcliffe is an actor?
    Who plays a part? Who can act?
    If you don’t like naked people, just say so.
    And he is only naked for a scene, not the whole play.
    If you don’t like it, don’t look.

  7. Joe says

    I have had a great respect for the play since i first read and saw it years ago in Boston. The star then was Peter Firth. The movie version starred Firth again and Richard Burton as the psychiatrist. Oh, yes, the play — it IS about all sorts of deep seated troubles: for the Doctor. the Parents, obviously the boy and alas not too much for the girl. I fear that the noteriety of having the young Radcliff in the spotlight will blind many to the stark and wretching reality for which the nudity is the icon.

  9. georgia says

    if i were you james and mark id listen to susan if you dont like daniel radcliffe naked dont look i personaly think he needs to put on a bit of weight (talk about size zero!) B-)

  13. Michelle says

    Seriously.
    If people think this is “weird” what are you even on this site for?
    If you don’t like it, so be it.
    Award Winning Film. Award Winning Actor.
    Daniel Radcliffe is an actor.
    Not a porn star.
    Get real people – It’s a PLAY.

  14. JoelB says

    Yes, it’s a play with full frontal under-age nudity.

    I’m all for it! presuming he does have a winky.

  24. Gustav Portrayasl says

    I think that you are all being bery immature. FIrst of all, it is called a penis. Not a “Magical Winky”, not a “wiener” just a penis. Second, it is a scrotum, not a “balls sac”. And third, THey are testicles, not “nuts” or “balls” or “hangers, bangers, stones, rocks, family jewels” or anything like that. I have seen the play in England with Daniel, and he does a very good job. His PENIS is a little small, and not too hairy. He is uncircumcised too.

  25. Hans Florian says

    Sorry about that, my keyboard fell. As i was saying, it is uncircumcised and tiny. TINY! TINY!! Mine is way bigger. When i saw it, Daniel had an erection on stage, and he was really embarrassed. Poor kid!

  26. Courtz says

    MAN HE IS SOOO FUCKEN HOTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man his penis is small so wat he is still hot as!!!!!!!!! id still wana fuck him!!!!!!!!

  27. Joke Police says

    Courtz, thanks for bumping this thread – this stuff is gold.

    Kind of a Junior Biggest Penis In The World Thread, with added outrage.

  28. Bee says

    OMFG it is so small. nd i thought an ant was small geez boi but ur still hot!!!!!!

  30. master says

    omg you are all ratting him out for having a small dick, i bet he is twice as big as most of you boys out there, at least he had the balls to stand there naked so all you lil cocksucker wanna bees can jack off to him. i dont see any of you getting naked taking photos

  31. J Bollocks says

    master (last name Bates? sorry I just couldn’t resist that one!);

    “i dont see any of you getting naked taking photos”

    I’m with you master, HS staff should show they’ve got what it takes and whip them out, slap them on the photocopier/scanner and publish those jpegs. Especially that girly staffer!
    Although if I was going after Heritage I’ld insist on an alcohol wipe-down of said scanner.

  32. JOHN says

    This is not a good way to publish a young boy.
    An 18 years old boy will obeously embarrased if he promoting himself naked.
    I like his acting since from his first movie but i will never like him like this.

  34. amanda says

    all you people are just stupid besides the few i agree with.
    but he is old enough to know whats best for him and if he wants to this we aren’t going to stop him.
    (sexy boy your a perv.)
    like others have said if you don’t like don’t look
    if even that how did you find this
    looking for his penis….honestly my friend lamonica told me to search it…to me its not a big deal…
    and you people dont need to judge him. hes dong what he wants and if he feels comfortable with hiself leave him alone…..god so many of you are so damn childish

  38. laney says

    i dont care if people do say its small by god he’s hot an i would fuck the hell out of him!!!!! an thats 4 sure

  40. Jason says

    He is circumcised. Have you seen the real pictures? Nice body, Daniel. I’d dine on all of it, for sure.

  42. Max says

    Daniel’s penis is normal to large size. I’m sick of all these tween shits expecting every dick to be straight out a porno.

  43. sweetie says

    daniel doesnt really wear glasses.
    also his penis is uncircumsized.
    and its pretty small actually.

    You can find the full pic in his wikipedia article.

  47. DanielLuver says

    I agree. He wasn’t even hard on stage. I bet when he is hard, he is so
    big! Luv you, Daniel!

  48. unsurprised says

    Hey look at all the women defending a craptastic stageplay that involves Harry Potter’s penis. Something they never would’ve watched even if you strapped them down and sellotaped their eyes open.

  49. phcube says

    I’m proud of Daniel going out there and doing that and personally, I don’t care how big his dick is. Is the size of his dick important? The size of his ability and intellect count for much more than his length and girth.