Now that she’s got divorced and Jon & Kate Plus 8 is no more, Kate Gosselin has the time to do what she loves best.
Raise her children. Wait, no, that’s not right – we mean shove herself in our faces. Or refuse to understand the concept of a dignified exit. Or consistently demonstrate a staggering lack of self-awareness. Either one of those will do.
You see, even though Jon & Kate Plus 8 turned her into one of the most disliked people on Earth, Kate Gosselin has refused to get the message, and has been given a new show where she’ll learn a variety of new jobs. We’re especially looking forward to the episode where she learns how to become a mother. That’ll be hilarious.
One of the main unwritten rules about reality television is that, if you’re ever offered to star in a TV show where you learn how to do a number of new jobs, it means that you’re both horrible and stupid. That’s why Paris Hilton was asked to star in The Simple Life and Nikki from Big Brother was given Princess Nikki – because it’s funny to watch prissy bellends with runaway self-entitlement issues be crap at stuff and then throw a tantrum about it. If you’re offered one of these shows, it means you’ve failed as a human being.
Kate Gosselin has been offered one of these shows. And she’s accepted. Make of that what you will. Us Magazine reports:
Gosselin, 34, will be “trying different jobs and tasks and showing how she performs in the different environments” on the upcoming as-yet-untitled TLC show, which is slated to premiere in late spring or early summer. Though a TLC rep says things are “still in development” … Gosselin’s new show will be “more like Kate Gosselin, firefighter, not Kate Gosselin, wife and homemaker.”
Actually, we take it all back. Kate Gosselin: Firefighter sounds ace. In fact, Kate Gosselin: Firefighter should be the entire show. Imagine it – a house goes up in flames. Quick as a flash Kate Gosselin arrives on the scene. Refusing to wear a helmet in case it messes up her stupid new haircut, Kate grabs a hose, aims it at the blaze and then misses the house completely because she’s too busy whining about the emotional burden of her divorce into a camera. Four children die in the fire and a crowd of bystanders tell Kate Gosselin that she should be ashamed of herself. Every week.
Well, we’d watch it, anyway.
But don’t think for a second that Kate Gosselin will be the only member of the Gosselin clan to get her own TV show. Before too long we fully expect Jon Gosselin to get his own Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous-style reality show, entitled Lifestyles Of The Shit And Balding. And it goes without saying that, now they’ve been brought up to equate performing for cameras with parental approval, we’re less than two decades away from the first Gosselin Jr internet sex tape. So there’s always that to look forward to.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Some ass thought he was cute and knew what the hell he was talking about, I am referring to the author of this article, Stuart Heritage. He knows nothing about Kate or about being a mother. Single moms have to work and support their children. Single men, probably like Mr. Heritage, just make fun and comment on things they are ignorant about.
And why don’t single mums just foist their brats on their respective fathers instead of whinging about their heavy burden, trying to convince themselves and others how meaningful their lives are? That, of course, providing they know who the fathers are.
Very funny article, mostly because of the “truth element” it encapsules. In my opinion Kate never had any celebrity, it was her children we all tuned in to watch. The 15 minutes are over…
She is not the most hated celebrity, it is JON GOSSELIN THE IDIOT, LIAR, WOMANIZER, USER, ABURSER….ETC. KATE YOU ROCK!
I can not believe there are so many young women anywhere that would want to be see with JON for any reason. He is homely, sloppy and poor, with the morals of an alley cat.
She was tossed to the wind for her Geranimals deal, cookbook deal and also the Paula Deen talk show. TLC is trying to get their money back because Jon stopped the show. That is it, all you die hard fans can say what you want…the new show will expire like the rest of her deals. And then maybe she will be a mom to those eight kids and get a REAL job…no one LIKES Kate, just those with no intellect!
your dumb the only reason why tlc stopped was because of john the douch get your facts right… and yes i am a die hard fan and what if you had eight kids to feed your gonna bust your butt doing a nurse job or make that like times 10 doing a t.v show seriously think about it she is a good mom and she is always thinking of her kids first and this is what she get’s from ppl like you…
Article idiot,
How do you propose Ms. Gosselin support eight children??Stay home and cook them something?? And who will buy the groceries?? Who will pay the utilities so she can cook them something?? Her “X”?? Oh no, he is too busy living in Park City Utah so he can ski and snowboard with his newest girlfriend. Do you really think he will be paying child support?? Get real mister. Kate will do whatever she needs to to take care of her children – yes all eight of them. So go find some other person to criticize. Try her “X”, Jon the jerk. Now that might be an article I could agree with you on. I for one will watch her new show, whatever the content. She has a right to support her kids anyway she can. A nurses salary probably would not cut it, but reality TV just might. Go Kate.
The author mentioned two reality shows that featured the stars doing different jobs every week. He forgot to mention the show Dirty Jobs. As much as that show runs there has to be an audience for this type of show. Myself I enjoy these type shows. Shows how difficult it can be for someone untrained in that profession to step up to everyday jobs that a lot of people didn’t know existed or took them for granted. I’m sure this new show will have a ton of viewers and only time and rating will tell if it is sustainable.
Thank you, Dora, you’re so kind.
I think the author has a lot of room to criticize since he’s making his living off writing about Kate Gosselin. I’ll watch whatever she’s on because it will help support the kids. I guess some of these critics don’t watch children “work” in Disney movies either. I can’t figure out why they just don’t turn the t.v. OFF or change channels if they don’t like Kate. I will be watching- I like her.
I agree. I think kate is a great mother, this article was written by some one who is NOT A MOTHER! I will also watch whatever show she is on. Fan from Oregon
I think this guy has it right. I am a mother and I love spending every minute with my little one. Kate claims she is a single mom trying to raise her kids but I have to say that is so untrue. A true single mom is my friend Mandee she has two boys and she offten works two jobs to even just try to give her kids the things they need. Kate could easly go back to nursing. It worked for them before why not anymore. Kate should let well enough alone get over it that she is no longer on tv.
why do you have a problem with this? your friend works 2 jobs and probably never sees her kids because she is always working. Kate will probably work a few hours a day and make 100 times as much and still be home when her kids get out of school. I applaud your friend for taking care of her boys but i’m sure if she could get 1 job to take care of them that supplied more money then she would take it. i think people are just jealous that Kate can make this kind of money…
Jackie, get real. How many kids does your friend have?? Eight?? Probably not. We are not talking about raising the American family average 2.5 children here. Do you know what a nurse makes and how many hours they are required to work to make that?? Unusual circumstances generally cause you to do unusual things. With no other support coming from the deadbeat Dad, a reality show might just make a better long term life for them. People will watch. They watch shows alot more bizarre than Kate working different jobs. Those who don’t want to watch, don’t have to. Again, “Go Kate”. The rest of you, stop judging and live your own life.
Kate already had two kids, overstimulated her ovaries and had a crate-full of eggs implanted. She deliberately played the muliples lottery and hit the jackpot. Pretty irresponsible of her and her doctor if you ask me. Not like she was pushing 40 and never had a baby after a bunch of attempts. Since then, she and Jon have been using their kids as a gravy train, soliciting donations from churches, baby products and services from sponsors, etc. The show didn’t just fall into their lap, they marketed themselves to the media from the very beginning, appearing on morning tv shows and the like. It was all very calculating and manipulative. Now the gravy train is coming to an end, and they are in their situation because they have spent the last five years riding it instead of being responsible adults and becoming self-sufficient as providers. Jon threw away his career, and Kate never really nursed full-time. They were both slackers, Kate is just more of an opportunist.
Kate deserves to make a living for her children just like everyone else does. Jon is the louse and loser right now. She deserves to be able to provide for her children. If they offer her a show and she wants to do it, then she should be able to. i think the author of this article is just jealous that he doesn’t have the money that Kate could have in doing this show. Leave her alone! She’s a single mom trying to make an honest living for her children so i don’t see why this is a problem for anyone. And those of you who write that she is a loser and shouldn’t be on one…then why are you even looking her up on the internet?? You must have an interest in what she is doing or you wouln’t be on her in the first place!!
omg, do you have anything else to do why are you always batching on her why is it that the dumbass is not getting the negative attention good for kate to go back infront of a carma after all the sh** she put up with from the taploids dealing with her divorce… leave her alone she is supporting her kids and in my book that is awesome… YOU GO GIRL!!!! stop hating on her and really start seeing all the good she does for her kids…
She is just a loser and so is her husband. I feel so sorry for their kids if you add the two parents together you still don’t come up with one parent who cares more about the kids than themselves.
He is a LOSER she is a self centered biotch. Take your pick
PS I read where Jon’s old boss pre show, said they planned ahead of time what they could get for free if they did the multiple birth thing. He said Jon was always on the PC looking for what was out there for parents of multiples to get for free. The show was gravy.
They just started off looking for free food, clothes, babysitters, school, vans, etc.
L losers O oddballs S self centered E egotistical R ridiculous
the word describes them both.
Isn’t it time for Kate Gosselin to just disappear. She’s no celebrity … never was. Neither was her ex-husband. She gets a two-bit hairstyle and some cameras and she thinks she’s this “super mom” … when she’s a nobody. She’s as much of an example of what not to be as a parent as Jon is. They’re both bottom of the barrel morons. I just feel sorry for their children, who have to put up with such crap for parents. She isn’t this “independent” role model for women and girls to aspire to become. She’s a total self-serving, self-righteous, arrogant, selfish piece of pathetic trailer park trash – who is simply using her children as cash cows. People who defend her are brain dead … she’s no “good person who’s been done wrong” … stop trying to make her something she isn’t. She’s a glory hound, she’s a flake, she’s a fraud, and she’s a user. Period. And so is her ex-husband. Every thing she does is fake. To get another 5 minutes in front of some camera. She and Jon are LOSERS in every sense of the word. And sick.
Love it! So true…so sadly true! just sayin