Celebrity DUI arrests have been all the go this year – but now that Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland has got one, we can officially declare the trend dead.
Though he denies the charges, it's been reported that Scott Weiland – a man whose love of drugs has seen him imprisoned in the past – has been arrested after he crashed his car in Los Angeles, refused to give a blood or urine sample and then acted all impaired. Luckily nobody was hurt in the November 21 crash. Well, we say luckily, but you'd have to be a gigantic fan of badly-dated American stadium widdly-woo rawk not to be slightly bummed out that a shard of windscreen didn't fly off and damage Scott Weiland's vocal chords, at least temporarily.
We've never been banned from Japan, but if we were, the first thing we'd probably do is go out and crash our car on loads of drugs. That's what Scott Weiland from Velvet Revolver did, you see, and he's totally our favourite tiresome, scrawny, Nazi uniform-wearing, drug-addicted hard rock ninny in, like, the whole freaking world.
According to reports, Scott Weiland has been arrested for driving under the influence of drugs after a November 21 car crash in Los Angeles. Apparently the California Highway Patrol investigating the crash noticed that Scott Weiland was acting impaired, so they attempted to take blood and urine samples from him, but he refused.
Scott Weiland also managed to fail a sobriety test, although this will be far easier for Weiland's lawyers to contest – especially if the test involved singing a song in a way that didn't involve sounding like a drunk middle-aged Dad at a special 1980s Gillette TV commercial jingle-themed karaoke party.
News of Scott Weiland's arrest must come as galling news for the rest of Velvet Revolver, who all left Guns N' Roses because they were fed up with being the backing band for a chubby leg-chewer who spends decades fine-tuning albums that nobody will ever hear. And now they're stuck in a band with a singer who dresses like the world's least menacing Nazi and can't even drive a car without buggering it up and getting arrested any more. We're guessing that Axl Rose has never seemed to well-adjusted in comparison.
However, Scott Weiland's publicist Kristine Ashton-Magnuson denies that he'd even gone near any drugs in the first place, not even the good drugs that stop headaches, cure Glaucoma or kill tapeworm:
"Scott was not driving under the influence of a drug, legal or illegal. He voluntarily took a breathalyzer test which the defense believes registers well within the legal limit."
Not that Scott Weiland should necessarily worry too much about his DUI arrest – after all, when Nicole Richie loaded up on drugs and drove into speeding motorway traffic she only got to spend about 82 minutes in jail for it. So, you know, those shiv-wielding inmates had better move faster than they've ever done before. That's all we're saying.
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