Up until very recently the Emmys didn't have a host, possibly because organisers were holding out for a name big enough to do The Biggest Awards Show That Isn't The Oscars, The Golden Globes Or The Grammys justice.
And finally the Emmys has a host in grinning gonkish American Idol host Ryan Seacrest. It's hoped that, as the host of American Idol, Ryan Seacrest will be able to draw some of the massive viewing figures that his day job gets to the Emmys. That's a great idea in principle, except for a couple of points. 1) The only people who actually watch the Emmy awards are those who are either too lazy, obese or incapacitated by prescription medication to lean over to the remote control and change channels, and 2) Forget Ryan Seacrest – people would watch American Idol if it was presented by a racist monkey puppet made out of discarded foreskins.
Ah, the Emmys, you're always there to fill in the empty gap between the Oscars and whatever other brainless back-slapping circlejerk of an entertainment awards show immediately follows you. But let's not forget that making the Emmys seems like a watchable proposition is harder than it looks – after all, who'd want to spend an evening gawping at the actors behind some of our most-loved television characters as they bitterly clap other, better actors behind insincere smiles and try not to look too riled up because the cameras are spending longer on Eva Longoria's cameltoe than their face.
The Emmys have tried audience-drawing tactics in the past, to little or no avail. Back in 2005 the Emmys got Donald Trump and the screechy one from Will & Grace to sing the theme-tune to Green Acres while dressed up as farmers, but oddly enough that wasn't the crowd-pleaser that everyone anticipated. Then last year the Emmys got Conan O'Brian to be funny and clever, but that didn't work either – so this year the producers of the Emmys are trying the exact opposite tactic by getting Ryan Seacrest to be the host. MSNBC reports:
Ryan Seacrest of “American Idol” is hosting next month’s Emmy ceremony, but viewers still won’t be able to call in and pick the winners. Seacrest’s appeal is expected to be a “magnet” that pulls viewers, especially younger ones, to the awards show on Fox, Dick Askin, chairman and chief executive officer of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, said Monday. The 59th Primetime Emmy Awards will air Sept. 16.
Now, there's no doubting Ryan Seacrest's teenage appeal – it's what got him an exclusive pillow-themed jail interview with Paris Hilton and that interview where Heather Mills kept crying – plus Ryan Seacrest has a star on the Hollywood walk of fame, making him more famous than, say, Clint Eastwood. And don't forget that, as the host of American Idol, Ryan has become the consummate professional when it comes to segueing between ultimately untalented acts – an essential Emmy host skill – but has Ryan Seacrest really got what it takes to basically just stand around making jokes about how The Sopranos keeps winning everything?
Ah, who cares? It's not as if anyone's going to actually watch it to find out.
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Leslie says
“people would watch American Idol if it was presented by a racist monkey puppet made out of discarded foreskins.”
While it may not currently be presented by one, it’s already judged by one. You’ve seen Simon Cowell.