Rupert Grint’s Genitals Bravely Cast In New Film

hecklerspray spent its formative years living on a nude-ranch. It had its pros and cons. On the plus side the people were nice, the weather was warm, and in our later teen years we could still ring doorbells even when our hands were full.

On the down side, if you forgot to cover up while the shot-puttin’ paper boy road past you risked getting very tiny cuts in very sensitive places. Oh the memories. While we’re on the topic you should know it was in a nude-theatre that we first took in that Harry Potter film.

We should probably recommend that place to Rupert Grint, him apparently being a recently converted nudist and all.

Oh you read that right.

Outside of Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe has only been taking roles where his genitalia gets referenced at least three times in the script. This doesn’t make sense until you realise he’s most likely getting two pay checks for it. Seriously, we heard his left nut has a five bedroom house somewhere in the Alps – complete with a neutered butler, which is just so ironic.

Rich nuts forget where they’re from, you know?

Now Rupert Grint, who’s mannana has been famous every bit as long as Radcliffe’s except under several layers of clothing, is letting the sweet sun warm every single circumcised part of his body while a nearby film director shouts things at it like ‘Hey! Hey! I said stop staring at the floor! Good, now show me frightened.’

We mean Grint is getting naked in a movie.

This is true because we don’t think the Malaysia Sun would ever lie to us:

“English actor Daniel Radcliffe, who played the role of Harry Potter in the film series …shed off his clothes on stage in Equus. Now, Grint, 20, who shot to fame with his role as Ron Weasley, has shed off his clothes in the new movie. The film is about three teenagers who embark on a debauched weekend of drink, drugs, shoplifting and stealing cars.”

When asked about his first nude roll Grint simply joked about how they were gonna need a much longer camera. Bad-um-bum.

He never said that. Nobody said that.

Although the young red headed actor refuses to say exactly how much his penis will get paid for the film, Forbes would likely assure us it’s a shoe-in for 2009’s Top 50 Richest Young Hollywood Schlongs list, right behind a few penises you’ve never heard of and something oblong and sticky that’s growing on Oprah‘s foot.

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  1. jeanne says

    when daniel make equus,rupert say i never strip.what happen? daniel nude on stage but rupert nude on big screen.therefor rupert’ job then worst.

  2. melabonbon says

    Actually he only goes topless in the movie.
    Which he already did in “Driving Lessons”.

  3. says

    That story was freakin hilarious!!!!!!!! LOL!!! Too bad it’s probably not true. Yeah you heard me right, this is just a bunch of stupid celebrity gossip, it’s just fun to read. Why can’t you people get a life and a real job! Stop making up stories about people cause they’re famous! How would you like it if people made up stories about you? Think about that next time before you right another one of these hurtful stories, no matter how funny they are.