Postcards From Stu On Vacation, #3: Stu Becomes A Woman Forever
Awake, for the dawn is almost upon you. And when it’s sweet light falls upon your face, it shall be in the form of a postcard from Stu Heritage, a man so many of us miss dearly. Though he’s gone only for a short while, complete lack of contact is simply more that most of us can bare.
We don’t have to though, because he’s sent another note. This one’s from a gender reassignment center gently tucked away in the rolling hills of unknown Spain. He says:
Dear Readers,
I miss you all so.
Well at the H-Spray I only get two week off every three years, so I decided to use this time to find the body God clearly intended, but forgot to give me on the day he was issuing out fleshy assignments.
I’ve always craved purses, not wallets, and dresses, not trousers. The right underwear I’ve actually been wearing for some time now, so there’ll be no big changes on that front.
Also, from now on if you could all address me as Gabrielle that’d be totally teriff.
Yours in editing,
Gabrielle Heritage
Of course we can Stu Gab, of course we can!
You know what, I don’t think this is what Stuart is doing at all! I think you’re making it up, Lindseth!
I wouldn’t do that to her Legacy!
AHA! If you weren’t making it up you would have said “HER Legacy”!!!
Betrayed by gender-specific pronouns.
See what I did up there gir? Now nobody will ever know… I’ll pay you to keep quiet on this. Nobody will believe you.
I dunno, Shawn. gir’s pretty sharp. After all, he once found a song about invasive rectal exams.
You’ll swing for this, Lindseth.
Finally, someone to go shopping with.
I just hope he/she brings me back a stick of rock or a keyring.
Oh the merriment! Shouldn’t we all be fighting? Isn’t that what these comments are for?
Ya for sure. All you haters, hiding under monikers of happy banter and hilarity. You make me sick.
Who the hell is Stu?