Postcards From Gabrielle On Vacation, Sort Of #4: Gab’s Parents Quite Hesitant
Oh Joy of Joys, today is the last day of absentee-Stu. Sorry, we meant Gabrielle. He’ll be back on Monday lampooning all things celebrity as his masculine hands brush over his keyboard with a man-like determination. We mean she’ll be back on Monday lampooning all things celebrity as her masculine hands brush over her keyboard with a man-like determination.
Well we’ve had a wonderful time since he’s been gone – but he and his new girl-body have sent us one last postcard to carry us through the weekend:
Dear everybody,
Well, I arrived on my parents doorstep this afternoon with my new pink luggage set and they seem to have changed the locks.
Yours in editing,
Gabrielle Heritage
Oh that’s grand news Stu! Gabrielle! Now get us some betting odds why don’t you!
You’re not fooling anyone, Lindseth. I am compiling a list of your crimes against Internet that I may submit it to the Internet Police.
I’d be interested to see that list gir.
May I add the following (if they’re not there already):
- Willful neglect of deadlines and new comments
- Allowing Bellinghaus to escape (give him his own column!)
- Making me work less by writing funny stuff
I believe I am innocent on all counts. Justice, as it always seems to, will prevail. I’m sending a ‘friend’ over to see that list though. I do suggest you let him in.
Deadlines? Stu gets paid so much he can alter time to hit ‘em.
Oh those are on there already. Along with:-FAKE HAIKUS OH MY GOD THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT NUMBER OF SYLLABLES OH YOU'LL PAY-Encouraging sloth through slackerjack postings-Misandry-Usury-Husbandry…
…Caring too much for the poor, always feeding the hungry…
Hey Lindseth use your magic editing power to make that list look better, thanks.
Done.
I said make the list look better, not make yourself look better. Sheesh.
Sorry about that. I’m still learning how to do the charts and the graphs.
The graphs are way out of your league. The charts, though, are HUGE sluts.
Really? Can you hook me up?