Pamela Anderson’s Stupid Marriage Officially Never Existed

Praise be to the heavens above - Pamela Anderson's marriage to Rick Salomon has been officially annulled.

Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon managed just over two months of happy marriage before they separated, which we think could be a record for both of them. We're sure they're very proud, either way.

And it was a smart move for Pamela Anderson to choose an annulment over a divorce, because legally it means the marriage never existed. And that means that the next time Pamela Anderson short-sightedly stumbles into a marriage with a vastly unsuitable man, she'll only be a double-divorcee instead of a triple. That third one would have put all kinds of men off.

We had a bad feeling about Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon right from the get-go, you know. And not for the same reasons as everyone else, either - not because Pamela Anderson or Rick Salomon both have histories of stupidly short marriages and generally give off the impression of being as clever as two hairy clods of turd.

No, we worried about Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon because a Pamela Anderson/ Rick Salomon sex tape never emerged. And that isn't right - between them they're responsible for the two biggest sex tapes in history, so realistically Pamela and Rick should be churning out new special editions of their sex tape hourly. And, since it's scientific fact that the only way for Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon to express their affection for other people is by dicking them on camera and leaking it to the internet, that spelt a serious problem.

As expected, Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon separated after 73 days - or did they? Because Pamela Anderson decided to annul her marriage, none of those 73 days actually existed any more. Anyway, it's over now. Associated Press reports:

Pamela Anderson has ended another brief marriage. The "Baywatch" star's nuptials with Rick Salomon were officially annulled Monday, according to documents filed in Superior Court. The documents listed fraud as the reason for the annulment but did not include further details. Salomon and Anderson, 40, were married Oct. 6 in Las Vegas then separated Dec. 13.

So that's Rick Salomon dealt with and consigned to one of the 18 volumes of scrapbooks entitled Really Inappropriate Men That Pamela Anderson Has Boffed. Now Pamela Anderson is free to live the rest of her life however the hell she wants. And since she's managed a three-year marriage, a four-month marriage and a 73-day marriage, it's only a matter of time before Pamela Anderson hits the golden one-week marriage mark.

And then the world is her oyster - a three-day marriage? A 12-hour marriage? A 0.001-second marriage? Oh, the romance of it!

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Pamela Anderson's Brief Marriage Ends - Associated Press