Pamela Anderson seems to wish she could return to the past – to a time before hepatitis, miscarriage, divorce, Rick Salomon and definitely, definitely before Kid Rock. The whole world wants to return to that particular time.
But the particular time she seems to want to return to is the one where a drummer from a bit of a crap, over-hyped band who likes to get his junk out on stage gets to stick it to her on a regular basis.
Yes, kids, Pamela Anderson is back with Tommy Lee.
Unfortunately not Tommy Lee Jones. Mind – that would be both hilarious and perfect for Pammie’s reality TV show. Especially if Jones was in full ‘Two Face from Batman Forever’ makeup. Seriously – we at hecklerspray should be television executives, we’d make things worth watching again.
But that’s beside the point here.
The point is that Pamela Anderson is in a relationship with a man she’s known for more than 30 minutes – a revelation in itself – and if you add up all the time that she and Tommy Lee have been together it actually comes to more than a week or so. Surely a record for the ex-Baywatch star?
The groundbreaking, world-moving and earth-shattering news came about in an interview with RollingStone.com, when Tommy told the interviewer:
“Pamela and the kids have moved in with me. It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.”
Well, who wouldn’t be happy with the news that an ageing rocker from a substandard hair metal band and the woman that adorned the walls of every red-blooded male throughout the 90s – purely because she looked good running in super slow-mo – have shacked up (again)?
We certainly are. Because it means we are unlikely to have to report on the trials and tribulations of that no-talent berk Rick Salomon or his equally-pointless, though somehow marginally more annoying (probably because he’s an irritating, weasel-faced little prick) counterpart Kid Rock.
Yes, the world of a semi-stable relationship – that is, semi-stable in the world of Pamela Anderson, of course – is the perfect one for both hecklerspray and Pammie for a couple of fantastic reasons:
1) It means she may actually manage to stay with one man for more than 13 seconds, thus giving her kids the slimmest of chances that they won’t grow up to be utter, complete and total fuck-ups.
2) We won’t have to report on those utter, utter wastes of skin mentioned above any more.
Though we are likely to have to talk about Tommy Lee. Shit.
J Bollocks says
I don’t know, what is it with those silicone/saline implants? They’re meant to be attractive to men (presumably, tit-fixated fuckers who never grew up) but it’s vomit-city down here.
Regardless, leading the way, I’m having silicone balls the size of water-melons implanted in my scotum.
Now we’ll see who’s revolted won’t we ladies?
Pya says
If i got her i would squeez & bite her boobies
Like anything.