It's been a vintage month for stomach-churning celebrity nudity, what with Lindsay Lohan's naked boobs and Gene Simmons' bare pecker.
But now, making a last-ditch attempt to claim the prize of February 2008's least-wanted nude body, comes a set of naked Diablo Cody pictures.
That's right, a collection of naked photographs of Oscar-winning Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody have hit the internet in a big way. And we haven't been this aroused by pictures of a writer since 1987's thankfully-forgotten Playgirl magazine centrefold spread featuring Sir Tom Stoppard, Ingmar Bergman and 46 litres of industrial-strength water-based personal lubricant.
Of all the films to be nominated for an Oscar this year, it seems weird that the most financially successful should be Juno – an lo-fi indie comedy about a pregnant schoolgirl written by a former stripper. That former stripper is Diablo Cody, a woman who quite probably wants to be famous so badly that she'd shit her ribs out if it got her an MTV reality show.
We got that impression because of all Diablo Cody's appearances on TV talkshows – something that, say, fellow Oscar-nominated screenwriter Nancy Oliver didn't get to do – plus the way she's making such an endless fuss about a pair of shoes she didn't wear to the Oscars and the way that her next job seems to be a Diablo Cody autobiography rather than another film about something that isn't Diablo Cody.
Oh, and the way that there are a bunch of naked Diablo Cody photos floating around the internet at the moment. That she apparently put there herself.
The naked Diablo Cody photos aren't especially new, or very naked for that matter. It's not as if you can see Diablo Cody dressed up like Marilyn Monroe with her baps out or lazily having passionless sex with a bimbo. But the naked Diablo Cody pictures do contain shots of her wearing a whipped cream bikini top and sort of showing off the side of half of one of her nipples, which you might like if you're into that sort of thing.
Anyway, did we mention that Diablo Cody posted the naked photos online herself? It's true, she even wrote it on her MySpace blog:
"Hey! Did you guys hear about the "nude" (except not really) pics I voluntarily posted on the Internet myself? What a tantalizing "scoop!" Seriously, I thought nudity was only a scandal if it the photos were leaked by some crumb-bum rat or vengeful ex. I personally put my vag out there with pride, ladies and gents. And you bet your ass I'd do it again if the Beef Council would cough up the proper endorsement money. Bitches are lucky I don't get naked now. I'm built for comfort these days. However, tempt me long enough and I just might drop 'em…"
Really we suppose we should thank Diablo Cody for posting all those sort-of naked photos of herself online. Not only does it mean that we can tick Diablo off the list of girls whose partially-covered side-boob we've seen, but also it's the perfect convenience – you get to see a stripper's tits without the guilt, the overpriced drinks or the having to convince your wife that you had to work late at the office.
Let's just hope that the naked Diablo Cody pictures mark the end of Naked Celebrity February, because we don't think that our stomachs can take any more. Luckily it's now February 28, so celebrities only have until midnight to blindside us with their naked boobies and then the nightmare will be over.
No… wait… it's a leap year. That means tomorrow… no! Not the naked Dot Cotton photos! Our eyes!
Read more:
Viva Trash – Diablo Cody MySpace
Diablo Cody: Nude Stripper / Screenwriter (Pictures) – Egotastic