Does anyone else realise how clever that title was?
Ol' R. O'Donnell may be taking a number down at the unemployment office. We don't blame her – now that she's jobless government brand Cheetohs will simply have to do.
That's right – after a solid year of battling media moguls, Asians, captured Brits, and all anorexic skinny people without jowls, Rosie O'Donnell is walking away from chick-flick talk show The View. We're told the chief reason was to appease her competitive nature and school the competition as a contestant on next season's The Apprentice. We weren't really told that, but it'd be a logical next step.
With such a big vacant seat on that side of The View table hecklerspray would like to throw it's hat in the ring. Now we know we weren't born with the required ovaries, but we do have several sets in our ice-box. They influence us everyday. They call out to us. Plus we can be catty, malicious, glum, and we appeal to women ages 68 – 85.
It's because we're not afraid to touch them in general. Hear that Barbara Walters? Not afraid to touch them in general. Get over here, you!
Rosie O'Donnell has raised a lot of hell during her View tenure. She full on fought Donald Trump, she called him obsessed, she dissed Asians everywhere and conspired in 9/11 or something like that. Some might argue Rosie's had this coming – she's out of The View. Word on the street is she wasn't canned, but then yesterday's word on the street was that a good stomach pumping wouldn't suck out the goat hair from our mom's favourite brush. It's complicated.
Barbara Walters, grand exalted master of the menses-inducing talk show, said this about O'Donnell's departure:
“We have had, to say the least, an interesting year, an exciting, fun-filled, provocative year. We have all gotten together and [Rosie] will be missed. I [did] not participate in the negotiations for Rosie. It was between [Rosie's] representatives and agents. This is not my doing.”
Apparently when ABC first brought in O'Donnell they wanted her to sign a three year contract. She would only sign for one year. She doesn't seem broke-up about it:
"I'm leaving to play the island on Lost. The literal island."
That would be awesome! Just think of how much more the other characters could spread out their stuff. O'Donnell didn't really say that though. She did say a bunch of stuff like how ABC isn't making her leave, and she's going of her own accord and whatever whatever blah blah blah. Donald Trump on the other hand, he'd like some of the credit:
"She was fired by ABC, and I'm proud to say I that I probably had a part in it."
Thanks Don. Now can you do something about Ugly Betty?
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Viking Lumberjack says
Good riddance. It’s not like anyone ever watched The View anyway, with the exception of unemployed pear-shaped women cramming their pie-holes full of anything slow enough to catch (generally Twinkies). It was watched by the kind of women that felt like they were brilliant after viewing The DaVinci Code.
Still, can’t Rosie just kind of disappear forever? She wasn’t funny in standup, or movies, or her talk show, or The View, and she’s never going to be funny. She’s still owed a solid punch to the back of the head for the mind bleach I had to consume after seeing her weighty half-naked girth in Exit to Eden all those years ago. I damn near didn’t have an erection for a year after that.
We’ve all collectively seen enough of her oversized hydrocephalic head with that undersized face on it, with that little mouth that somehow still manages to gobble food whole like a duck, and manages to spew loud obnoxious rants about everything like her craw was the size of Steven Tyler’s. To think I used to fantasize about lesbians.
When she leaves for good, she can take Emeril with her and retreat to an isolated island, and they can create a new race of giant headed people that look like Charlie Brown was a real boy instead of a cartoon.