Call us old-fashioned, but we've never trusted Crowded House; we think it's either because Crowded House songs have been forced down our throats on TV adverts for over a decade, or because Crowded House is one of the dullest bands ever.
So you'll understand how jazzed we are that Crowded House is all set to reform for a year-long tour. Reports are suggesting that Crowded House singer Neil Finn and bassist Nick Seymour are currently auditioning a new drummer for the proposed tour. Provided they can find someone who can listlessly tip-tap out drum patterns relentlessly boring enough to accompany Crowded House songs without a) falling asleep or b) trying to chop their hands off with the sharp bit of a cymbal, Crowded House tour dates are expected to be finalised soon. And all the Crowded House dates are sure to sell out instantly, unless there's a sale on at Habitat that day, obviously. Those Crowded House fans sure know how to prioritise.
This is turning out to be quite a week for band reunions. First was news that one of the most powerful, electrifying, politically aware live bands of all time – Rage Against The Machine – was reforming at Coachella for a single show; news that has sent shockwaves of excitement through the music world. And now Crowded House is also reforming, although Crowded House's plan is to trundle around the world for a year so they can croon that song about stuff being only natural at a selection of venues where there's plenty of room for their fans to park their Ford Mondeos.
The members of Crowded House haven't been up to much lately, you see – one of them killed himself, one of them sang a song at Nicole Kidman's wedding and one we haven't been bothered to find out about – and now two of the non-dead members of Crowded House have decided that what the world needs now is to see that band who did that "Everywhere you go-oooo-ooooo" song to get back together and make a disgusting amount of money artistically reconnect with its fans, as Reuters reports:
New Zealand's The Dominion Post newspaper said frontman Neil Finn and bass player Nick Seymour were auditioning drummers in Melbourne. The band's original drummer, Paul Hester, committed suicide in 2004. Julia Connolly, a spokeswoman for Finn's office, told the newspaper that further auditions were planned in Auckland and Los Angeles. "At the moment, they're just working at getting the band together," she said. "Something's formally coming out once the band is in place."
We're eager to see the reaction that the newly-reformed Crowded House gets on tour, because people we don't trust keep telling us that Neil Finn is a genius – and we'd like to see some proof, because we're buggered if we can see how going "Everywhere you go-oooo-ooooo" every now and again is on a par with something like, say, the invention of vulcanised rubber. But, hey, Rage Against The Machine reform on Monday, Crowded House reform on Wednesday. If things carry on at this rate by Friday maybe Rod Jane And Freddy will reform. In a shed. On the Isle Of Man. For eight seconds.
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Dixon says
Don’t dream its over? I did, and I enjoyed it thanks
finner says
Great news, pathetic article. Pity your lack of taste – if all you can do is associate Crowded House with Weather With You that’s your loss.
w says
well I associate crowded house with overrated and shite as well as weather with you if that’ll ease your conscience.
finner says
P.S Neil Finn is a genius – just see a live show, even listen to a live recorded (farewell to the world will do) and dig a little deeper than weather with you into the back catalogue.
Andrew says
Arsehole.
Shauna says
At least Neil Finn has some class, which it seems you do not. If you think Crowded House is dull, you obviously have not seen a concert. But maybe that’s a good thing. Crowded House fans are a pretty friendly and jovial lot, which it appears you are not, so I just don’t think you’d mesh with us anyway.
Maybe you’ll feel better if you go have a nice little nap :)
Now for all us die hard CH fans, who keep Neil’s PR manager busy ten years later after the boys said farewell to the world, with a fanclub that still sees more and more new fans, year after year, bring on the tour!!!
What does it really matter what this jerk thinks anyway?
Rodney says
It’s really sad to see websites like this where the reviewers have no taste for good music, The Fact remains that Neil Finn is Fantastically Tallented and that you are Just Jelous because all
you can do is write shit on a computer, you must feel really big i bet ! The Fact remains that “Crowded House” are one of the Last of the “Greatest Bands of All Time” they are universally
Loved and nothing you will say will ever change that. You could do something constructive though….. chew on a Cyanide pill !!!!!
Sam says
Very funny, very witty, thoroughly disagree.
Any musicians who have tried their hand at songwriting will come to realise the strength of Finn’s songs; they’re deceptively simple and melody-driven, which is becoming a rare trait these days. Nobody could credibly claim that “Neil Finn is shit” on the strength of his collected works. You might not like him; you might in fact hate him; but it’s a bit embarrassing to dismiss him out of hand when you look at his achievements.
Hope you have a lovely night in with your thrash metal punkified post-rock electronica blues fusion – I’ll be at the Crowdies gig.
David Lees says
If you only pick up a band’s “output” via singles played on Radio 1 (or from watching TV adverts) then this will be your opinion of many bands. All four Crowded House albums contain grander (often darker) treasurers than the single you’ve heard (like everyone else) a few times too many. Dig deeper you clown!
This is the second article I’ve read today on Heckler Spray today when I’ve thought, “Hold on, the author doesn’t actually know much about his subject matter”. It’s your (at times witty) opinion, sure, but it’s a throw away one at best.
juice says
“one of the most powerful, electrifying, politically aware live bands of all time”
RATM? Yeah right. Signed to a major label, corporate whores.
And you complain Crowded House fans drive Mondeo’s.
Wadey says
To be fair our house isn’t as crowded since my sons and step daughter left home. Albeit that any empty space soon fills with rubbish.
Ted Filter says
Crowded House are such a sacred cow. It’s like everyone in NZ and OZ *have* to worship them, or appear unpatriotic. *rolls eyes*
Neil Fiin is a good songriter and a competent and capable musician/singer in the same way that a Toyota (or a Mondeo, for that matter) is a good car. Safe, dependable, predictable, efficient, but devoid of passion, excitement, and character. I don’t like Neil Finn’s, or CH’s, music, sound, or singing, and I find their music dull, predictable, and pedestrian – it doesn’t make me feel anything. But that’s just me – I have no problem with other ppl liking them until I read such utterances as “The Fact remains that Neil Finn is Fantastically Tallented”. It’s not a fact, it’s an opinion.
The duplicitous Tom Morello is deplorable, but for different reasons.
But if nothing else, RATM at least evoke a reaction from me, whereas CH are just . . *shrug*.
JoelB says
Well, I’m with you TF.
I had the misfortune to be on a two week OZ Army-Reserve camp helping out the cook. He had a tape-deck but only ONE cassette, that being Crowded House.
The horror. Play the tape, turn it over, play the tape, turn it over…. FOR 2 WEEKS!
Even now I shake when I hear Weather.
stuartjb says
good on the guy for playing the same crowded house tape for 2 weeks – at least he has taste.
the guy who wrote this “article” probably doesn’t like the beatles either.so he doesn’t like music that has strong melody,great chords ,hooks, riffs,singing and musicianship.
the comment about the crowdies drummer, paul hester is a disgrace.
neil finn is a musical genius.fact.
weather with you is one of the best pop songs of all time.fact
anyone who disagrees with the above is musically retarded – just like stuart heritage.
……see how easy it is to write annoying stuff on the internet ?
igor senior says
Stuart Heritage
not that huge sales are always a judge of good quality music but when Crowded House’s Recurring Dream has sold 1.5 million in the UK and the equivalent of 13 Platinum in Australia (making it the highest selling Australian album ever) I think that there might be one or two (million) people who disagree with you… but hey to each there own.
Apart from NZ Tourism (which was actually a re recorded Neil Finn version of Don’t Dream NOT Crowded House’s) what TV adverts were there……??????????? Maybe investigate what you are talking about before you write about it….
But everyone is entitled to their opinion I guess, which means if I say you are a wanker I’m just expressing mine.
Igor
Greg Dobson says
Neil Finn has a distinctive quality to his songwriting, and is actually one of the better talents around right now. Even frickin’ Pitchfork Media, in all their snobbery and distrust of the mainstream, will admit that much.
The author of this article has clearly not made an effort to see past the surface of things with Crowded House. At one time I, too, thought of them as music you’d hear in the dentist’s chair or at the supermarket. I also thought the same thing of the Beatles.
It’s a great parallel, really. Depending on your point of view, the Beatles are either a bland, heard-it-a-million-times annoyance, or pretty damn brilliant. The same can be said of Crowded House. I like them, but I too am sick of some of their hits. But their albums contain some total gems, uncommonly poignant and insightful lyrics, melodies up there with the best of Lennon/McCartney.
And has been mentioned, they are an ace live band. They play their instruments very well, Finn sings brilliantly live, and they possess that kind of raw, crackling energy that all the best live acts have. Many of their songs actually do sound better on stage than on the record.
Anyway, enough, you’ve got me going. If you don’t like them, and have actually listened to them, that’s totally fine. But a flat-out dismissal of them is totally unfounded. Go pick on Maroon 5.
Terry Tombstone says
I’m a New Zealander and I utterly despise Crowded House – they were awful then and I can’t see why the hell they would be any better now. There’s a real red neck rugby element here in NZ that laps that crap up like there’s gonna be no tomorrow and so the rest of us Kiwis end up having it rammed down our throats for years on end as though it’s the stuff of musical genius. Neil Finn is boring boring boring but so long as you’re a member of the exclusive little club of celebrities here in NZ you’re always going get plenty of exposure and lorded on regardless. It’s one side of NZ I really hate – and that includes Jason Gunn as well. I would rather slash my wrists than endure a Crowded House gig … seriously! They can choke on their stoopid chocolate cake for all I care.
andy says
‘…It
Kyle Sandilands says
The masters of mediocre have returned. After two reunion albums, I couldn’t have anticipated anything more bland. Nothing could have been more anticipated than the reunion of this band so it’s only fitting that Neil’s decision to reform the band has so far been the greatest disappointment in Australian music.
Gone are the sharp hooks and snappy, slick music of the 1990s. In its place, we’re left with turgid, sub-par synth pop that provides the ideal soundtrack to your next trip to the supermarket. There’s no way the classic material can be played alongside the new material.
After hearing their two albums post reformation, there’s nowhere left for this band to go. Running rampant are the droning of keyboards and pianos. We have all but guitar to guide us through the music.
Does this music serve a purpose or does it purposely serve an executive tapping the black cheque book? Either way, their new music is just mediocrity you can pay for. It’s like ice but no pick a murder charge that won’t stick its like a whole other world where you can smell the food But you can’t touch the silverware – WHAT LUCK!
Are the band going to break up some day, standing on the steps of the Opera House in Sydney hopelessly singing to the masses with hymns of songs from their post-reunion era consisting of words that fall short of anything meaningful and deep?
I’m sorry I could go on and on but its time to move on so. Just remember them for what you had, not for who they are now or tomorrow. Tomorrow is just a reflection of today whereas today echoes that have given rise to the evil that is post 2000 Crowded House. Enjoy.
And Neil…fuck you, you sanctimonious, loathesome, average thinking, dredge spewing c**t. You just ruined a great band.
Ellie says
Normally, I quite enjoy reading critiques of bands and singers that I enjoy. I like hearing different peoples opinion of things, and having my opinions opposed. But this review is a piece of crap.
“The members of Crowded House haven’t been up to much lately, you see
Durst says
FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS!!!! YOU FUCKING SHOW PONY FAGGOTS – HATE YOU AAAAALLL. BRING bACK DA RAP METAL. NEIL FINN IS GAY!