Now that Nicole Kidman has finally achieved her life's goal and given birth to a baby, we can all concentrate on why she gave it such a crappy name.
And actually it seems like there's quite a simple answer – Nicole Kidman decided to name her new daughter Sunday Rose because she really, really hates Scientology. Apparently.
You see, Nicole Kidman is a Catholic and Sundays are important to Catholics, but not important to Scientologists, and she used to be a Scientologist, so she called the baby Sunday as a sort of painfully oblique jab at Scientology. See?
Insulted, Tom Cruise has vowed to even the score by naming his next child after something that's important to Scientology, meaning that in a few years we can all say hello to little Unnecessarily Litigious Cruise or Unsettling Public Image Cruise.
Nicole Kidman isn't a bitter woman. Or at least we don't think that Nicole Kidman is a bitter woman – we haven't really been able to discern a single identifiable facial expression of hers other than 'mildly startled' since about 2004 – but if this new report is true then we might have to reverse our decision.
On Monday morning Nicole Kidman finally gave birth to her first biological baby, and we're absolutely certain that it was a moment of sheer, undiluted, life-changing joy for both her and Keith Urban. Nothing could have made the moment more perfect.
Well, except for Nicole Kidman deliberately giving the baby a name that would nark off Tom Cruise, anyway.
And that's what some are saying she did. Nicole Kidman's new baby is called Sunday Rose, which is obviously a direct insult to all Scientologists. Obviously. Don't believe us? MSNBC has spoken to a source who definitely exists and has obviously got all of the obvious facts:
“Nicole is a Catholic, and Sunday was an important religious day for her until she was involved in Scientology,” said the source. “She’s still bitter about her experience with Scientology and the fact her baby’s name could be perceived as one last jab doesn’t exactly upset her.”
Yeah! Take that, evil Scientologists! If naming a baby after a day of the week that has equal importance to every other day for them doesn't finish the religion off for good, nothing will! This is bound to hit Scientology harder than anything since the time that Halle Berry named her baby Nahla Ariela, which is an anagram of Anal Ear Hail, which is – oh, we don't know – something that Xenu invented or whatever.
Of course, there's also a report claiming that Nicole Kidman decided to call her baby Sunday Rose because Keith Urban had written a song called Sunday about the baby, and that probably sounds a bit more true.
Note to any Keith Urban fans reading – that's a brand new song called Sunday as opposed to the existing Keith Urban song Raining On Sunday, which Keith wrote before he met Nicole Kidman and was just a lonely cowboy with a dream of having a baby, naming it Sunday and getting to piss all over it whenever he liked. We don't want any confusion.
pts says
Why didn’t she just call it Xenu? Scientology’s space alien version of the devil.
roger gonnet says
Why would she choose another name? For many people on earth, sunday is the rest day, and it’s not a sin to use such a waod!
David Schwartz says
why didn’t she call her little girl Ihatescientologyits apileofcrap Rose?
GavinSteve says
There is nothing called humanity these days , and I dont know whos to blam.
Wonder whatever that baby has done to receive such nasty comments
Tom Falkard says
Maybe she likes the name Sunday.
Michael says
I find it fascinating how people know exactly what Scientology is, because of reports in the media.
If you want to know what Dianetics is, God forbid you should read the freaking book, just look up the latest media comments.
Using this logic, I should never have to do any actual research on the presidential candidates because, God knows, the media would never lie to me, right?
Wrong. Look what the media did to Ron Paul. (If you don’t know who Ron Paul is or, think he was just another fringe candidate, then you’re an idiot who doesn’t care about the Constitution.)
Why don’t you boneheads get off your asses and do some actual research. You might learn something.
Here’s three links to get you started:
http://www.scientology.org
http://www.dianetics.org/
http://www.campaignforliberty.com/
Michael
Anonymous says
And if you’d like, after checking those links, I strongly recommend reading some information from sources other than the “church” of scientology:
http://www.enturbulation.org/
http://exscientologykids.com/
http://youfoundthecard.com/
Also relevant, this recent exposé of scientology’s violation of child labour laws in Australia:
http://www
pg=embed&sec=1295178
Markay Bayan says
I think Sunday is a lovely name. Nobody freaks out about names like Wednesday or April, so why not Sunday?
Michael, there is much more to scientology than just that poorly written dianetics book and what’s on the scientology sites. Those don’t have all court documentation detailing the cult’s criminal history that have earned it the treatment it is getting from the media and the public. Prior to the last few months, the cult’s litigious nature made the media terribly hesitant to report on these important matters so the public never knew. But now, the victims are no longer afraid to speak out about the abuses they have suffered, and the media is no longer afraid to report on it.
gir says
I think Michael may be the key to understanding the long-postulated link between humorless dipshits who post on hecklerspray and Ron Paul supporters.
You’re right Michael, you’re smarter than everyone, and support for Ron Paul is just one symptom. Everyone else just DOESN’T UNDERSTAND, because they’re too dumb and haven’t done any research.
Michael says
Hey Anonymous, what do any of those links have to do with reading the Dianetics book?
Oh ya, that’s right.
If someone actually read the book, they might actually find out what Dianetics is, which would drive you nuts.
I don’t care if you doubt what Dianetics is.
But, you will never find out what Dianetics really is by listening to what other people have to say about it.
You will never find out what Dianetics really is until you read the book.
Last time I checked, the paperback cost $6.95.
Don’t let others make up your mind for you.
Read the book and make up your own mind.
Michael
Michael says
gir, #1. I never said I was “smarter than everyone”.
#2. Is it possible to know any subject IN DEPTH, without doing the research?
Michael
Artoo45 says
Well, I usually have some snarky thing to say about almost anything, but I think Sunday Rose is a sweet name. Oh, BTW, L. Ron Hubbard + Senile Dementia = Ron Paul
gir says
You don’t have to say it, Michael, I can smell your impotent nerd rage from here. By the way, take a shower once in a while.
Jake says
did anyone consider that she just liked the name Sunday? Anyone at all?
Scientology is dumb says
Scientology is definitely a cult. I don’t need to join up to be able to know that. I’ve done plenty enough research to know that.
Oh, and Michael, somebody wrote that book, so even by reading it, you are still just listening to what someone has to say about it. Just because its printed doesn’t really prove anything.
WillS says
@ Michael
There is nothing wrong with dianetics. Just as there is nothing wrong with any other “religious text”. It’s not about the content of the Cult of Scientology, rather it’s their fascist policies and their practice of disconnecting and ruining families.
I’ll read Dianetics (I have already read some of it) with an open mind if you promise to do the same about the history of Scientology.
Screw Co$ says
Bunch of stupid morons you are, you ignorant cultists!
Patrice Vic says
Micheal trying hard to sell some dianetics books aren’t you. Can’t give those things away.
Micheal why not go to http://exscientologykids.com/ and discuss dianetics with some OT’s, some of whom knew Hubbard and Miscavige personally. See what they think of scientology.
Micheal, you are being scammed by a cult and we will be here to help you when you wake up.
Janice says
I guess everyone is different. I personally think that it is a beautiful name. I would call her “Sunny Day” when she was a happy little girl. And the name Rose is one of my favorites. Lighten up!
Seedy says
who. fucking. cares.
euclid says
Michael;
There is a difference between reading something
and knowing it IN DEPTH. You see, to know it IN DEPTH
you have to think, USING YOUR OWN BRAIN.
You didn’t need to say that you think you are smarter
than everyone because it was implicit in your remarks.
Just as it is implicit in mine that I think you are
a colossal shit monger. ooops. Now it’s explicit.
Didn’t really trust your abilities at inference, there.
Anon says
Michael you must be brainwashed into the cult known as Scientology… god help you.
Anonymous says
Actually Michael, I have read Dianetics and it’s a load of crap. When Hubbard isn’t making up words he’s changing the meanings of existing ones. That he had to make a glossary to provide definitions for his made-up language is telling. Furthermore, whenever he makes a claim that he’s done the “research” on something so it must be true, he fails to actually provide the PROOF behind his claims. Try harder and fail less, please.
Not dumbass says
Michael, a lot of people have read Dianetics and agree with anonymous.
Gary says
It seems that everybody’s missing the point…I would think the child’s first AND middle name are significant. ‘Sunday Rose’ would seem to be descriptive of the resurrection of Jesus, Who ‘rose’ on a ‘Sunday’. Take that, Tom!!
David Bryden says
>> “you will never find out what Dianetics really is
>> by listening to what other people have to say
>> about it”
Oh. Is there some other way to examine it, Michael?
Measure it with a ruler? Poke it with a stick? Send a robot probe inside it?
Nonsense. Dianetics isn’t a solid object like Mars. It’s a concept, a process. Dianetics has no existence EXCEPT for the effects it produces in people. The book is relevant only in so far as it’s used on people – which is only a fraction of the whole process.
Michael, the ONLY way to find out about it is to ask people.
cat says
That’s not what the other article said.
Quote…
” The beautiful baby girl, who was born on July 7 in Nashville to parents Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, is named after early 20th-century artist’s muse Sunday Reed, PEOPLE has confirmed. Her middle name, Rose, is a nod to Urban’s late grandmother Rose. “
Markay Bayan says
If you want to know the TRUTH about scientology, all their “secret scripture” that they charge their “parishioners” $350,000 or more to access is now available for FREE on wikileaks!
Diane says
Sunday Rose is a beautiful name. God bless Nic & Keith.
John JOnes says
LOL, The COS is nothing but a giant CULT. What a joke. I cannot believe anyone with an ounce of common sense would fall for that nonsense.
JT
http://www.FireMe.To/udi
Jeffrey Keith Forsythe says
…I once meet the lady named called, Annell,It’s sound like Anal..So she want to be call her name, Shelley when we meet..They can name,what they like to their children, or like myself, I named the street and town after my named, when I was developer or boats named..One times one of my friends, Chapter 11 & 7 corporate lawyers, make a funny comments with funny face, about all his boats has, each name after his wife and daughters, except his name..Although he is the man who pay the cost..One thing about this lawyer is, he always want to win, even things are very small and to point it out, very important..He think he like, Tom Cruise, in the movie The Firm..
(JKF)
barney says
Keith Urban did not write Raining on Sunday, Radney Foster wrote and recorded it prior to Keith.
Bec says
Except it has nothing to do with any of that.
Google the very famous Australian artist named Sydney Nolan… and Sunday Reed.
Idiots.
Dear Michael says
Dear Michael,
I will not argue that “Dianetics has not helped anyone”, but does the publishing of a book validate the existance of a cult?
Look at the Communist Manifesto written by Karl Marx. You see, Karl Marx was not actually a communist due to the fact that Marx knew it would never work. Unfortunately to the fate of the world, communism produced a man who killed more people than Hitler – this being the infamous Stalin. Thus Karl Marx is not responsible for these deaths.
Unlike the relationship between the Communist Manifesto and Marx, Dianetics (as great as it seems) does not justify the actions L. Ron Hubbard with the Cult of Scitentology has cursed on this world – being in the active practice of child slavery, rape, forced abortions, government inflitration, mind control, contorted history, and even murder.
Even if a man writes one semi-decent work of literature – this does not excuse him from the piles of waste produced of science fiction turned religion zealotism – that of which is the library of LRH’s works and twisted thoughts.
Taken that LRH is a man who has been quoted, “I’d like to start a religion. That’s where the money is!” I seriously doubt he wrote Dianetics for the good of mankind.
jan marini says
Too many speculations and perhaps it’s true, speculate all you want, but it’s certainly an unique name and the girl has to live with it through her life. It will not be as fun I’m sure. Too bad for her.
HungryGuy says
When she grows up she can complain that everyone wants a piece of “Sunday roast”, just like poor old Britney….
Leave scientology alone! They can’t help that they are gullible, they were reincarnated that way and just can’t get their body thetans under control.
Kate Noelle says
Scientology has done enough to slander and hurt Nicole Kidman. Mocking the birth of her child seems like just another messed up Scientologist ploy. Can one make the assumption that this website is a cult front ?
What the Hell says
Honestly, i don’t understand why so many people are bashing on Scientology. If you don’t know what Black media is… look it up. Sure you’re not going to have such great adulation for this so called religion but at least be indifferent. NOT ONE person has said why they’ve hated it. Ignorance… it’s a crime to society.
TheSkepticAl says
This idiotic site is such and obvious tool of the cult of scientology. It is typical of them to slander anyone who they see as an enemy. Kidman’s crime against the cult? She had the brains to divorce the closeted jesus of their cult Tom Cruise. You arent fooling anyone by trying to drag her through the mud. Get over it.
Rob Delaney says
HELLLOOOOOO! SATIRE WEBSITE! Article written in tongue-in-cheek, funny manner! FFS, America, try not to take it so seriously.
Sossle says
When shes really bad Nicole can shout ‘Sunday, Bloody, Sunday’ but lets hope shes not naughty but ‘Bonny and Blythe and Good and Gay'(in a happy sense of the word – not a lesbian, unless shes happy being a lesbian of course)
gir says
“If you don’t know what Black media is… look it up.”
Is that like Black Entertainment Television?
Rob Delaney says
Oooh, oooh, does it involve minstrels?
Google returned this helpful site: http://www.lyntonblack.net/
I see nothing controversial about Black Media ltd.
gir says
It’s probably something that moronic Americans complain about like they do with Black History Month.
euclid says
What’s all this? Nicole has named
her child Sundry because of the
Black Mystery Moth? Sounds like
a cult to me!
re: What The Hell’s “NOT ONE person has said why they’ve hated it. Ignorance… it’s a crime to society.”
Okay, here are three reasons why I hate Scientolomology:
1) the books are crap writing
2) the thinking is crap theology (or sci-fi)
3) the organization is deceitful and at times criminal
Jeremy says
does anyone else not understand what the author means by this line: “with a dream of having a baby, naming it Sunday and getting to piss all over it whenever he liked.”
I don’t get the pissing part. Do Scientologists pee on their children? It’s a really bizarre thing to say with no explanation.
barb says
I’m an old lady who read a lengthy Life magazine article about Hubbard’s dianetics when I was a teenager. It was so bogus and contrived as to be was embarrassing–very sophomoric. Like the wild imagining of a late adolescent male.
Fredric L. Rice says
Also the drug addled madman L. Ron Hubbard had a profound mental problem about roses — the flower — and the way they smelled. HGubbard used to yark off in to violently insane screaming tantrumps when he smelled rose perfume.
Perdita Collins says
This is all speculative nonsense. Nic’s baby is named after a famous Australian woman, Sunday Reed, who was very important in the Arts community in Oz: source, Nic’s father. ‘Rose’ was Keith’s grandma’s name.
K Mansfield says
Good for Nicole Kidman and her smoking hot husband Keith Urban! She represents women rights and is an outstanding role model, she is a very talented and beautiful woman, and deserves to have a baby if thats what she wants to do. It’s a testament to her levelheadedness and intelligence that she was able to break free from a religious cult, Not to mention that loser that poor little katie is now saddled with. Let’s hope she can see the light before it ruins her life, and totally screws up her little girl.
factnet.org
David Mudkips says
‘Unnecessarily Litigious Cruise or Unsettling Public Image Cruise’ – haha, genius.
Maybe Xenu Cruise as well :)
VF says
Good job guise.
JEANNE says
Or… maybe she liked the name? Of course the Scientologty connection is far more interesting ;-)
Ryan Alexander says
This is a bullshit analysis. Please occupy your thoughts with more meaningful information.
Judith says
And this is news how?????
baby boy says
I heard something the name is after an artist.
Jude says
Oh i get it. this is meant to be humour
andres says
All what say Kidman, is bullsh… I dont Know wy people don
Keiser says
Scientology wishes it would be allowed to suck bizz-awls.
But its not
Keiser says
…So they assign good’ole Tommy Cruise-tastic to the task.
Linda Hannah says
You are insane and ridiculous. No one talks about cruelty like peeing on kids if they are in tact mentally. Since we all can see that you are insane, please go seek help! Better yet, get a real job, because this is not going to work, you having any ability to write. This is sensationsalism only at it’s worst! Get out in the work force and do something constructive. We see you only allow in these remarks, things “you” can tolerate, you screen all of the remarks. Guess you are a control freak too! Geez, we are so entirely lucky to have you as a writer? Give us a break buddy! Get a real job!!!!! AT least don’t count of being famous for what you write ever!
Richard Wicks says
What’s to know about Scientology? The word “science” in it’s most basic form means the study of nature and “ology” is a suffix meaning the study of.
So, “Scientology” is “the study of the study of nature”.
.
.
If you want me to look beyond the cover, don’t give the book such an incredibly stupid title. I mean really. I’ve never seen such a stupid word in my life for a name of anything.
So, you’re happy with your “religion” – great good for you. The Catholics signed the Lateran Treaty, had deacons running concentration camps in parts of Austria and Germany, had the Crusades, the Inquisition, and became one of the wealthiest powers ever seen on this planet. I can hardly begrudge a group doing the same thing by reading a little bit of Freud and then using that to manipulate their naive members and at the same time forbidding the members to read anything about psychology – all the time demanding money money money money.
Hey, if you really feel it’s a great religion and everybody will benefit from it, spread the word. Publish everything, help everybody. I mean, if you’re not just trying to financially benefit from it, you’d do that right?
That is, if they weren’t just trying to financially benefit… And of course, they are.
Frankie Pye (Badass CelebritY) says
I love to see people get completely up in arms about this stuff. All religions are a form of story intertwined with moral, political, social and often financial principles. It doesn’t matter if you choose to believe A, B, or C…you took the same leap of faith as the man standing right next to you.
I like to joke, I like to push the line, I like to use my brain, I enjoy diversity, but I try to remember we are all the same, and no matter who they are, if we treat others how we would like to be treated, they will be open to us, and thus more willing to absorb from us what we believe to be right, wrong, good, bad or nothing important, and vice versa.
I am a female, I live on Earth and everything else should be constantly evolving.