New Blade Movie! Without Even A Sniff Of Wesley Snipes!

Batman, Superman and James Bond all proved that everybody loves reboots – so the chaps at New Line have come up with a sterling idea.

New Line is apparently gearing up to make a Blade reboot, even though Blade is barely a decade old as it is. What sort of reboot is Blade going to have? Nobody knows, except for the fact that Wesley Snipes will be nowhere to be seen in it.

According to reports, Wesley Snipes won’t be appearing in the new Blade movie, even for a second. Which, ironically, is still 10 seconds longer that he appeared in Blade Trinity for.

Although the oldest one was only released in 1998, the Blade movies seem like the byproducts of an age that moved on long ago. It’s a mark of how complex and gritty The Dark Knight was that rewatching Blade now feels a bit like being a sugared-up toddler in a teddy-bear circus on the moon. Oh vampire hunter, it’s so adorable to see you fighting those creatures that killed your mother!

But as well as this, the other reason that the Blade movies seem so dated is because they all feature pre-lunacy Wesley Snipes.

You know, the Wesley Snipes who existed before we all knew he refused to pay his taxes on the basis that the IRS was an imaginary organisation and that he lived in a country where the population was him and there were no taxes and the national anthem was Area Code 213 by Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E from the White Men Can’t Jump soundtrack. The Wesley Snipes who would fight said tax-dodging conviction by getting Woody Harrelson to write the world’s most meandering stoned-sounding letter to a judge. That Wesley Snipes.

So it’s no surprise that the new Blade movie New Line reportedly wants to make won’t feature Wesley Snipes at all. In fact, more than that, it’s going to go back to the past and pretend that Wesley Snipes never even existed. That’s according to Blade writer David S Goyer, anyway. Shock Till You Drop quotes:

“I heard rumors that they may want to start from scratch with a new person playing Blade. It’s funny because I thought about how I never wanted to do a vampire film ever again because I’m sick of it. But I was reading the Tomb of Dracula Omnibus and I hadn’t read them in a long time and I thought it might be cool to do another vampire movie at some point.”

Blade without Wesley Snipes might actually work because they might actually find an actor willing to appear in the movie for more than seven minutes and then bitch relentlessly about the production after it’s finished. And the new Blade might even be a better fit for these post-Dark Knight times, too – perhaps they’ll even hire someone who talks in a voice so deep and gravelly that nobody can understand a single word of he says. We hear that’s all the go in superhero movies these days.

Anyway, if this Blade reboot is a success, then maybe New Line will consider rebooting some of its other movies as well. We’re especially looking forward to the Lord Of The Rings reboot where there’s a lengthy free-running scene across a Moroccan rooftop and at one point a Russian woman tells Frodo that his mind is like a prison. We’d like that.

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Comments

  1. The Dread Pirate Sausage! says

    If you’re taking requests, I want to see a reboot of Gladiator starring Mel Gibson as Maximus, Nick Nolte as Cometus and Dolly Parton as Lucilla.

    And I want to see her drop a boob in it, as well.

    Oh, and a reboot of Eraserhead starring Rosie O’Donnell!

    HELL yes!!

  2. hilton grham says

    well i see how loyal you guys are ,hell i only bought blade for wesley snipes . you would be making a big mistake, his style is like no other some characters or for an actor unfortunately blade is snipes.

  3. john maynard says

    a blade movie without snipes would be gay. even when i read the comic or look at the action figure i think snipes. YOU CANT HAVE A BLADE MOVIE WITHOUT SNIPES. and if another blade movie comes out without snipes im not even going to make an effort to watch it.

  4. says

    people always told me i kinda look like snipes in the face a little but they say i got that shaft,mrt,snipes,tyrese,dark vador look ya know check to myspace im not playing fellas this aint no game what i look like on here typing up some shit. i think im the same as wesly except i dont owe the irs they owe me twank laughs

    muahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  5. stelo says

    man, superman return needs a reboot; fantastic four needs a reboot…
    but not no freaking blade; wesley is blade; look at what happened
    when the got sticky fingers for the tv serie; barely made it
    past it’s first season. jezzz we all go crazy at time; give the man
    a second chance. look at downey junior hein??? dud made it back
    from his troubles and know own iron man like a vest.
    wesley all the way. he has the fan base; he needs a great script/story plot and a good cast; bet you once again blade will be
    taking over the world.

  6. james rich says

    i believe they needto make a film based off blade haveing a kid,and that kid goes to school doesn’t know about all this evil dark destructive power he has and then his parents get attacked by a group of vampires and they die and then he has to go live with his aunt “whistlers daughter” then he gets trained and becomes a vampire killer and yeah that sounds like a badass story line lol and this kid is sort of mixed emotions,searching for an answer he gets a shot every month and doesn’t know why he has

  7. Weazyy F' says

    THE PERSON THAT WROTE THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A FUCKING IDIOT !!
    The original blade film is a masterpiece. You obviously dont know shit about real films. The dark knight ” appears ” to be good because of modern technology and because little faggits like you enjoy watching little cuddly superheros. Fuck You ! You cant write for shit !
    GET A PROPER WRITING JOB HOMO !!

  8. Turly McVeigh says

    The film makers should go back to blades origins and stay true to the comics if they want to successfully reboot it, a younger actor to portray blade would be good. They should also try and make the vampires world believable and bring organized crime into it, instead of blade just chopping and hacking his way through a movie whilst discovering some really far fetched evil scheme

  9. Tiger says

    If they do a remake of blade they should at least go more into how he became blade and get Micheal Jai White to play the Daywalker. He can really kick some ass and it would be fun to see him kicking some vampire ass on screen.

  10. blaze says

    That reboot would crash faster than any windows. I agree with Bruno, Spines is Blade and therefore they should reconsider not including him.

  11. John says

    RE comparing The Dark (Sh)Knight to Blade – First off Blade is a very dark very adult movie (remember Whistler’s story to name just one example). Second, I believe The Dark Knight to be a movie very much about getting bums on seats whilst trying to be as dark as it could be, ratings boards and current climate permitting. Batman Begins I liked. It had many diverse changes of scenery to keep the eyes engaged, interested and awake though it was a little long for this type of movie. The Dark Knight was nearly two & a half hours of sitting looking at the kind of scenery I can see on my way to the movies in the first place. It screamed ‘trying too hard to be dark and gritty’. I understand lots of people wanted to speak well of it owing to the Heath Ledger situation (a actor I believe to have been enormously talented). However, I really feel passionately that this movie absolutely sucked. It should’ve been at least 40 minutes shorter. Had more visual variety to it’s palette. Two face shouldn’t, given the money and technology available, of looked so wrong. And if they really wanted it to be dark (and realistic) Batman probably would (given the circumstances) have offed the joker first chance he got, and tortured himself about the moral implications after the fact. It wouldn’t, after all, of simply been a case of him moralising over taking a life – Batman is a dark character. He has more than just personal reasons for taking out the Joker as well. Just my personal opinion and in my added defense I really wanted to like the movie as I did the first ;o)

  12. vernsis says

    Snipes blade no doubt but the stories need not a reboot just a new sole it needs intrigue drama on different levels fight scenes r alright hey Here you go cross blade over. Marvel has the trimmings for an all out battle that’s coming ironman vs hulk captain avenger in makings doc strange still in comics wonder woman and captain america is due.blade is soulless no life girlfriend ,friends social life no parties no nothing sucks to be him everyone else has a duel character not him so he’s doomed. Can’t reboot unless he has reasons to live.

  13. Todd says

    there is no need for a reboot. Maybe a prequel or a new trilogy set in the present time with everything else.

  14. Michael says

    Yeah who needs a reboot-just make another film WITHOUT Goyer! He needs to move on cause Trinity was sad.

  15. The King says

    Wesley is the best period, no exceptions! Goyer is a story and screen writer, he needs to do just that. Blade and Blade II are simply fantastic. There is no way in hell you put the third in stallment of Blade III in the hands of a first time director. Stephen Norrington: Blade and Gullermo Del Toro: Blade II were the best directors for those films. Every one knows when something is made correctly everything comes together and it fits perfectly. David Goyer said it himself. And I quote “Wesley Snipes is Blade” Those statements were made on the set of Blade II. If New Line does make another Blade Michael Jai White would be the only other consideration period. He has the all the elements needed period. Oh one more thing. In Blade III David Goyer had Whistler’s daughter portrayed as being his equal. Come on!!!! Vampires are 5 times as strong as humans and she was slaying them left and right. Goyer really screwed that up big time. Also, why in the hell would the Supreme Vampire run from Blade who is only half vampire and half human. He screwed that up also. Make sure New Line gets Stephen Norrington, or Gullermo Del Toro to do the next Blade film.

    Thank You Every One

    The King

  16. Shocky says

    The King has given me hope that intelligent people do exist. THe directors of those movies blades 1 and 2 were great. They had vision and style Goyer on the other hand almost made me lose my nerve when I sat there in the theatre trying to watch blade 3. By the end of it I felt little baby man tears forming because i was so disappointed. Guillermo del toro is a godly director and it takes visionarys like that to make movies after comics legendary.If some garbage director takes over the next one im walking calling for a citizens arrest of the chairman of new line cinemas.

  17. dan says

    I think if they do decide to do a blade reboot they should get michael ja white to play blade I seen his last movie blood and bone and then it came to me he would be a great fit to play blade

  18. kristy says

    even though we are use to wesley as blade, i think the new one without him in it might be interesting. i think he did a good job while he was blade but he did other great moves too, like: demolition man! i heard the reason why wesley didnt want to be in the new blade movie was because everyone started calling him blade like that was all he was known for which wasnt. he didnt like being called or known as blade because he did other great movies besides just blade and i totally understand him. i am looking forward to seeing how the new one comes out.

  19. chris says

    if there is a new blade movie the plot should be the L.D. 50 fact should come into play the air bourn virus should kill all but 10% of the population the rest are fighting hard to servive so they plan to launch a plan to change more peaple to vampiers then ever befor.this series should never end becouse it is like a super hero movie the best kind of hero the one u love to hate but one day blade will win.BLADE IS SNIPES

  20. tim says

    I loved the series, how short lived it was. I about **** when snipes was not on it and hated to see another. I hate it more to think he will not be blade any more. How in the heck can you have blade without snipes. That is like having the shield without Michael Chiklis , terminator with out Arnold, and the sopranos without gandolfini.

    Now after the shock of loosing snipes in the series I became to like Kirk Jones being blade. He played it well and I think he would make a great replacement for snipes.

  21. michael says

    funny you should mention the terminator cause Salvation , except for a cameo, was Arnold-less and it suck but your mileage may very

  22. Zach says

    Yeah man, no joke.
    if theyre going to make a new Blade movie, it should be on the origins of Frost or soemthing, NOT removing Snipes.

  23. skeeter mccullough says

    my name skeeter!

    I feel that doing a new blade movie would be a good idea,if they are going to have actor to play the charator it should be Michael jai white he is not only and actor but he is skilled in the marshal arts. and he has that deep voice.

  24. TrueBandit says

    This just shows you the author is a idiot. The real fans of blade loves Wesley snipes. And what the hell does his personal life have to do with anything. Hes a actor. Blade is snipes. He is perfect in that role and new line is stupid for dropping him. Blade movies have had their problems and its Snipes right to complain about them. Anybody could see they made a attempt to overshadow the star of the movie in that Blade 3 movie which hurt the film. The fans want to see Snipes as Blade. Not his long lost cousins daughter etc.

  25. gwyllgi says

    The idea that every superhero needs a gritty reboot is stupid. You cant compare Batman to Marvel characters. Batman is popular because he can be a sci fi, horror, and suspense character in comics however on film he’s been becoming more and more of a detective for half a century. to explain you can put batman in any crime movie and it would be good, batman in se7en Awesome, batman in Inception Even better, Batman in Sleepy Hollow EPIC! This works because his character is a detective at it’s base hell put batman in House’s place and the ratings would skyrocket because people love mysteries.

    You can just put any marvel character in place of a similar figure. Deadpool chasing road runner would be a horrifying child mind maiming experience, Wolverine in highlander would be horrible, and blade reverting to his jive talkin hunting vampires with wood stakes would be a step back. If Stuart Heritage were as perceptive as he is snarky he would realize that blade WAS the gritty reboot he was dark knight before dark knight, he was a marvel C-list blaxploitation guy who wasn’t all that heroic or relatable, and no one would ever want to be a poor, lonely, son of a dead victorian hooker, vagrant. The one has to think who has the martial arts skills to do what wesley snipes did as well as the on screen charisma? I cant think of any except for Michael Jai White, but it would be weird to see spawn playing blade.

  26. Brian says

    No Blade without Snipes will be pure rubbish. Directors\producers should learn to stick with their leading actors through out a movie series. Now I hear of a new Jason Bourne, WTF!

  27. faggy says

    Blade – vampire dance club blood shower scene = unforgettable, no way they can ‘remake’ that kind of epic.

  28. chris says

    if there is no snipes in the blade movie what’s the point snipes is blade no matter what

  29. Daniel says

    im 100% sure Michael jai White would make a awesome Blade hands down..check out Blood & Bones, that movie will change all u guys minds

  30. Shaun says

    Wesley Snipes is Blade period.. If Sly can play Rambo & Rocky, dammit Wesley can still play BLADE.

  31. davie says

    The actor makes the character work wesley snipers is BLADE the last good vampire movie. Now every vampire has gone romantic . Hope snipes returns as blade.