New Blade Movie! Without Even A Sniff Of Wesley Snipes!
Batman, Superman and James Bond all proved that everybody loves reboots – so the chaps at New Line have come up with a sterling idea.
New Line is apparently gearing up to make a Blade reboot, even though Blade is barely a decade old as it is. What sort of reboot is Blade going to have? Nobody knows, except for the fact that Wesley Snipes will be nowhere to be seen in it.
According to reports, Wesley Snipes won’t be appearing in the new Blade movie, even for a second. Which, ironically, is still 10 seconds longer that he appeared in Blade Trinity for.
Although the oldest one was only released in 1998, the Blade movies seem like the byproducts of an age that moved on long ago. It’s a mark of how complex and gritty The Dark Knight was that rewatching Blade now feels a bit like being a sugared-up toddler in a teddy-bear circus on the moon. Oh vampire hunter, it’s so adorable to see you fighting those creatures that killed your mother!
But as well as this, the other reason that the Blade movies seem so dated is because they all feature pre-lunacy Wesley Snipes.
You know, the Wesley Snipes who existed before we all knew he refused to pay his taxes on the basis that the IRS was an imaginary organisation and that he lived in a country where the population was him and there were no taxes and the national anthem was Area Code 213 by Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E from the White Men Can’t Jump soundtrack. The Wesley Snipes who would fight said tax-dodging conviction by getting Woody Harrelson to write the world’s most meandering stoned-sounding letter to a judge. That Wesley Snipes.
So it’s no surprise that the new Blade movie New Line reportedly wants to make won’t feature Wesley Snipes at all. In fact, more than that, it’s going to go back to the past and pretend that Wesley Snipes never even existed. That’s according to Blade writer David S Goyer, anyway. Shock Till You Drop quotes:
“I heard rumors that they may want to start from scratch with a new person playing Blade. It’s funny because I thought about how I never wanted to do a vampire film ever again because I’m sick of it. But I was reading the Tomb of Dracula Omnibus and I hadn’t read them in a long time and I thought it might be cool to do another vampire movie at some point.”
Blade without Wesley Snipes might actually work because they might actually find an actor willing to appear in the movie for more than seven minutes and then bitch relentlessly about the production after it’s finished. And the new Blade might even be a better fit for these post-Dark Knight times, too – perhaps they’ll even hire someone who talks in a voice so deep and gravelly that nobody can understand a single word of he says. We hear that’s all the go in superhero movies these days.
Anyway, if this Blade reboot is a success, then maybe New Line will consider rebooting some of its other movies as well. We’re especially looking forward to the Lord Of The Rings reboot where there’s a lengthy free-running scene across a Moroccan rooftop and at one point a Russian woman tells Frodo that his mind is like a prison. We’d like that.
If you’re taking requests, I want to see a reboot of Gladiator starring Mel Gibson as Maximus, Nick Nolte as Cometus and Dolly Parton as Lucilla.
And I want to see her drop a boob in it, as well.
Oh, and a reboot of Eraserhead starring Rosie O’Donnell!
HELL yes!!
i believe they needto make a film based off blade haveing a kid,and that kid goes to school doesn’t know about all this evil dark destructive power he has and then his parents get attacked by a group of vampires and they die and then he has to go live with his aunt “whistlers daughter” then he gets trained and becomes a vampire killer and yeah that sounds like a badass story line lol and this kid is sort of mixed emotions,searching for an answer he gets a shot every month and doesn’t know why he has
Stupid!
A Blade movie without Snipes would suck bad!
Snipes IS Blade.
The film makers should go back to blades origins and stay true to the comics if they want to successfully reboot it, a younger actor to portray blade would be good. They should also try and make the vampires world believable and bring organized crime into it, instead of blade just chopping and hacking his way through a movie whilst discovering some really far fetched evil scheme
well i see how loyal you guys are ,hell i only bought blade for wesley snipes . you would be making a big mistake, his style is like no other some characters or for an actor unfortunately blade is snipes.
a blade movie without snipes would be gay. even when i read the comic or look at the action figure i think snipes. YOU CANT HAVE A BLADE MOVIE WITHOUT SNIPES. and if another blade movie comes out without snipes im not even going to make an effort to watch it.
people always told me i kinda look like snipes in the face a little but they say i got that shaft,mrt,snipes,tyrese,dark vador look ya know check to myspace im not playing fellas this aint no game what i look like on here typing up some shit. i think im the same as wesly except i dont owe the irs they owe me twank laughs
muahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
man, superman return needs a reboot; fantastic four needs a reboot…
but not no freaking blade; wesley is blade; look at what happened
when the got sticky fingers for the tv serie; barely made it
past it’s first season. jezzz we all go crazy at time; give the man
a second chance. look at downey junior hein??? dud made it back
from his troubles and know own iron man like a vest.
wesley all the way. he has the fan base; he needs a great script/story plot and a good cast; bet you once again blade will be
taking over the world.
THE PERSON THAT WROTE THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A FUCKING IDIOT !!
The original blade film is a masterpiece. You obviously dont know shit about real films. The dark knight ” appears ” to be good because of modern technology and because little faggits like you enjoy watching little cuddly superheros. Fuck You ! You cant write for shit !
GET A PROPER WRITING JOB HOMO !!
good news leave Snipes in the 90s where he belongs.
If they do a remake of blade they should at least go more into how he became blade and get Micheal Jai White to play the Daywalker. He can really kick some ass and it would be fun to see him kicking some vampire ass on screen.
Bring back Wesley Snipes & stick to Blade first movie story line.
can sean connery be superman no original superman was reeves jus leave it alone
That reboot would crash faster than any windows. I agree with Bruno, Spines is Blade and therefore they should reconsider not including him.