Nelson Mandela Tries To Strong-Arm A Spice Girls Reunion
hecklerspray was stuck down a sewer once. Whilst there, all we could think about was how awesome it would be if we didn't have a direct line of sight right up that really old Asian man's toilet. Sure, at first it was funny, but that stuff stains.
When you're in a predicament like that though, you find yourself longing for many a strange thing. Take Nelson Mandela for instance, he was once imprisoned for life by all the white folk in South Africa, and you know what he wanted when he was in that cell? The Spice Girls. That's right, as he was in there getting entirely too thin, the words "I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want" ricocheted around his head like a biscuit in a baker's truck.
Actually, the preceding isn't really true. Mandela was released from prison in 1990 - back when the Spice Girls were still performing as NKOTB. When he first heard them he found himself quite taken with their chubby femininity. And he still likes them too - enough to demand their reunification at his upcoming birthday party! In a request-y kind of way!
In July of '07 Nelson Mandela is turning 89, and like all almost-89 year olds, he's issued formal invitations to every single Spice Girl imploring them to play at his party. Whether they will or not is still unknown. What is known is that Brian May, a man who we heard once beat-up three puppies and turned them into wallets, will be there. So will Annie Lennox and Peter Gabriel, possibly with fuzzy money-holders they'd been previously gifted. A Mandelian friend said of the Spice Girls invite:
"It would make Nelson's day if the girls performed."
It might be tough for the girls. These reunion rumors have flown around before, but they have yet to materialize. You all know why - Scary's raising a centaur or something, Ginger just had a tot, Posh is desperately trying to not be eaten by swine, Baby's about to squirt out 6 pounds of people-meat, and Sporty hates Girls Aloud so much she can't even think about performing.
If Mandela really wants to assure the girls'll show up - he's got to bait them with something they all want so bad they couldn't possibly turn him down.
Cupcakes should do it.
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