Hey you! If you like news stories about people you’ve barely heard of possibly being somewhat rude about people you’ve never heard of, are you ever in for a treat!
And, since this story contains a public apology, you can bet your balls that it features Miley Cyrus as well. And it does! Miley Cyrus has apologised for a YouTube video of her apparently mocking Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, who are apparently Disney stars or something. Honestly, not a clue.
Anyway, we have the offending Miley Cyrus video for you after the jump. Chances are it’ll make just as little sense to you as did to us, but at least it proves one thing beyond reason – that Miley Cyrus has the speaking voice of an abusive, chainsmoking pensioner.
Oh for God’s sake. Stop it already. We’ve barely just got round to working out what Miley Cyrus is for (answer: paying for the upkeep of the Disney Corporation’s executive unicorn stables and speedboat lounge) and you’ve started to chuck new Miley Cyruses at us? That’s hardly on.
And, what’s more, you’ve made Miley Cyrus rivals with the new Miley Cyrus? Oh, you. If we had any idea who we were directing this angry threat at, we’d come and get you. We really would.
So. The new Miley Cyrus, then. That’d be Selena Gomez. She’s just like Miley Cyrus in that she’s the star of a Disney show and she sings a bit. There are a few subtle differences – Selena Gomez doesn’t have a creepy washed-up country singer for a dad and she wears a purity ring whereas Miley Cyrus’ motto seems to be “Wahey! Cop a load of these, boys!” – but other than that they’re mostly identical.
Anyway. The rivalry. Apparently Selena Gomez recently made a video with her friend Demi Lovato, who we assume was also squirted out of the same giant Disney child star battery womb as Miley and Selena. The video is mostly unintelligible, but the key points are that one of them wears too much make-up, one of them had a gap in her teeth fixed and one wears an ironic kid’s TV show T-shirt.
That’s important to remember, because right after Selena Gomez’s video, Miley Cyrus came out with this. We should warn you now that we can’t be held responsible for the computer monitor you’re almost guaranteed to headbutt in a furious rage within the next three minutes…
Not a clue. Seriously.
But anyway, as well as being a powerful tool of persuasion to convince normal, well-adjusted grown men into rushing out and punching the first child they see, Miley Cyrus’ video has also been seen as the opening salvo of a turf war between Miley Cyrus and her plucky young challenger. And she’s not backing down from it, either, as the New York Daily News reports:
“If we offended them, we’re super sorry. We were just, like, having fun, you know what I mean?… Elvis says imitation is the greatest form of flattery. We were like, imitating them, you know? Like, being funny.”
OK, actually Miley Cyrus is backing down from it. Quite a lot. But still, this is how celebrity feuds tend to start, so Miley would be well advised to cut out the bitching. Or at least do it behind her rivals’ backs like everyone else does.
Incidentally, what’s with the Elvis quote there, Miley? Don’t start living your life by Elvis Presley’s rules, otherwise the next thing you know you’ll be snuffing it on the shitter with 25 kilos of deep-fried squirrel burger up your arse. Is that what you want, Miley? Is it? Because you’re certainly going the right way about it.
E. Bunny says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhGEO9XDmis
Come on Hecklerspray. You couldn’t find the original video?
The orginal Demi Lovato Selena Gomez video deserved to have someone make fun it it.
When you watch the first video and then watch Miley’s spoof, it becomes evident that Miley deserves an award, rather than chastisement.
Kat says
AGAIN, thank you, thank you, thank you for your entertainment value! I actually like some of the celebs you trash talk, but I love that no ones safe with you- at least your consistent.
As for the topic: E.Bunny- thanks for the link. I can see why Miley and her friend mocked those two idiots. However, the youtube nonsense is getting old. What happened to the good old days when girls just pulled each others hair? Do we really need to be subjected to this unintelligible garble? I think my ears are bleeding….
Sarah says
Wow. I want to kill myself.
Stan says
Excuse me. I don’t recall Selena or Demi saying they were upset or Hurt by Miley and Mandy’s Parody Video of them. So why is everyone upset. If Selena and Demi are upset then they need to clearly say so in Public. Otherwise this is just a case of a bunch of people who don’t want to mind their own business.
Jim Burrows says
Het Stuart, your belittling Miley Cyrus for quoting Elvis Presley, for the reasons you cited, namely because he was quoted as saying that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”, is like belittling, say, someone quoting Louis the XIV, who ruled France from 1661 till his death in 1715 for saying “I am the state”, because he died of a gangrene, the most despicable way for a King, his age, to die. In fact, Stuart, he was the State, and whether you like it or not, in show business, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Get a life, and forget about Elvis, who’ll continue to rule long after you stopr writing…
Jim Burrows says
Hey Kat, do you want to see how I bring this man to the ground? Come back to this message board, and enjoy what you like best which is, by your own admission, to marvel at his ability to thrash anyone, anywhere.
The problem for Stuart, Kat, is that people like him attract others, in this case, yours truly, who will ensure that not even him will be safe from himself.
All I need is for him to answer my previous message, so stay on, and really enjoy a thrashing…
David Bryden says
History will record that this is what we were arguing about while the last forests were cut down.
gir says
“Hey Kat, do you want to see how I bring this man to the ground? Come back to this message board, and enjoy what you like best which is, by your own admission, to marvel at his ability to thrash anyone, anywhere.”
My name is Jim Burrows, poster of posters: look on my internet postings, ye mighty, and despair.
euclid says
Hey Jim! Maurice Colgan
gir says
I heard if you post “Elvis” three times in a row on a message board Maurice Colgan shows up and bores you to death with stories about his retarded grandchildren.
Jim Burrows says
Hey Gir!! Do you know what silence means, when someone who is a bully is being challenged? It could mean three things. One, the bully’s scared to debate the person who is challenging him, eityher because he’s faced him before, or because something tells him he will be no match for him. Two, he’s not seen the message where he is being challenged and three, he shows wisdom, for the first time. Can you, of all people, place a bet on which of the three applies to Stuart, right now, as I write this message, or are you willing instead to debate me on Maurice Colgan’s granchildren? So which one is it…
gir says
Hey Jim: Shut Up. You are stupid and annoying and absolutely no one cares how much your dumb nerd ass wants a “debate” about Miley Cyrus, of all fucking things.
And there’s not much debate to be had about MC’s grandchildren; they’re retarded, it’s genetic. Case closed.
Jim Burrows says
To David Bryden, Hi!! yes, I fully agree on how you feel about what history will record, but if you really know your history, it is filled with millions of stories of susbtantive, marginal, and preposterously uneventful moements alike. Check any Library.
Who cares, you may say, that the only thing that can be (and should be) picked up, with your own fingers, when invited at a Buckingham Palace offical dinner is a sparragous, when it is certainly more important to know the position of the British government on the killing of whales.
But you better know both, lest you end up with a tart on your face in the unlikely event of having to sit there, next to Queen Elizabeth, and not know that it is you, and not her, who doesn’t know how to eat..(LOL)
Sarah says
Hey Jim. You suck. Move along.
Jim Burrows says
Come on Sarah, stay with it, and get creamed also…
Jim Burrows says
The fun thing is realizing that some people in this here thread think I am here to debate them on the subject of Miley Syrus. Not a chance!! Read again…
evilcl0ne says
Jim, we get it, you like Elvis, go you, you de man, very clever, big clap on the back. Now please, please FUCK OFF!
gir says
That’s just it, Jim: NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU WANT TO DEBATE. You’re not going to cream a god damned thing, except maybe your jeans when you see some of those wet jumpsuit photos of Elvis in his bathroom at the Flamingo.
Your promises of thrashing are little more than the same blustery bravado exhibited by such notable intellects as Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, only yours have the stigma of being the poorly written screeds of some fat nerd on the internet who is probably even more scared of black people than the aforementioned 4 Bits. No one is amused by you or your stupid fucking posts. Go away.
GEEz says
geez why is everyone gaining on jim cause he likes elvis? i mean…i dont like elvis..OR miley so dont think it but….whats the big deal??
John Popcorn says
One of the “few subtle differences” between Miley and Selena is that Miley has given more money to charity than Selena has made in her ENTIRE LIFE so far! And Selena is older.