The Mel Gibson divorce continues to shock – who knew people couldn’t love alcoholic bigots with terrible beards?
But whatever. Now we know that Mel Gibson’s wife Robyn has had it with his twinkly smile and tequila-breathed Jewish ranting, it’s time to work out why the divorce is happening. Is it because of Mel Gibson’s rumoured canoodlings with Russian pianist Oksana Kolesnikova?
Apparently not. Oksana’s reps have denied the affair, presumably on the basis that Mel Gibson is old enough to be her chuffing grandfather and there’s a good chance that his elderly penis would splinter off inside her during intercourse.
So Mel Gibson is getting divorced. We’ll admit that the news came as a shock to us, as it would to anyone apart from Mel Gibson, his estranged wife or anybody who’s ever met Mel Gibson and had to put up with a second of his idiotic midget egomania.
So far, two main things have come from Mel Gibson’s divorce. The first is the sheer size of the potential settlement. It’s been claimed that Mel Gibson might lose anything up to a quarter of a billion dollars in the divorce, reducing the scale of his planned directorial sequels to a film about the time that Jesus got a bit of a splinter off a fencepost and a hard-hitting dramatisation of the moment that the ancient Mayans saw a pig fall over and thought it was quite funny.
The second consequence of Mel Gibson’s divorce is that everyone is now scrambling around trying to root out the cause of the split. Mel’s wife Robyn cited ‘irreconcilable differences’ in the divorce proceedings, which could either mean that a) she’s fed up with all his boozy anti-Semitism, b) it just took her 30 years longer than usual to realise that Mel Gibson was a relentless twatdabble or c) Mel Gibson was dicking another woman.
If it’s the latter – and nobody can really say for sure if it is or not – then the prime suspect would be Russian pianist Oksana Kolesnikova, who has previously been photographed ‘canoodling’ with Mel Gibson on a movie set in Boston and ‘frollicking’ with him in Costa Rica. But, as The Boston Herald reports, Oksana’s not having any of it:
?Sorry to hear about Mel Gibson?s divorce,? a publicist told TMZ.com. ?Somehow Oksana is being linked to Mr. Gibson, but there are no emotional ties between the two that I am aware of. Oksana has in the past entertained Mr. Gibson with her piano music as he dined at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel. ?Yes, I definitely welcome the opportunity to set the record straight, our Oksana is not romantically involved with Mr. Gibson,? said the unnamed publicist.
We guess that only time will tell if the rumours are true. It shouldn’t take long to discover – if Oksana Kolesnikova really is sleeping with Mel Gibson, the only proof anyone would need would be a photograph of her leaving Mel Gibson’s home while scrubbing at herself furiously with detergent-soaked wire wool.
Well, it’s what we’d do in the same circumstance, anyway.
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Tammy says
WOW!!! You seem to have a real hard-on for Mel. Why so bitter, I wonder. Do you even know this man? Do you know anything about him, his life, his family, his heart? How is that you see fit to publicly bash him in this manner? Has he hurt you personally? Do you know him personally? Can you prove anything you’ve written to be fact other than the news of the split? Boy, the media and journalists(if that is what you can be called), sure like to “kick a dog when he’s down”. Regardless of what you “think” you know about Mel Gibson, your article is offensive and full of crap. A man gets pulled over and gets a DUI, this makes him a drunk? This makes him an alcoholic? He, in his intoxicated state, makes a few remarks and this makes him an anti-semite? You and others like you need to get a grip and write about something more important that has meaning in a world that is on a fast decline in morality. You are part of the problem, not the solution.
Tom J says
Yeah guys, stop bashing Mel. He makes a few perfectly innocent “fucking jew” remarks and you brand him an anti-semite. He gets pulled over driving whilst drunk and you brand him a drink-driver. He makes a bunch of crap movies and you brand him a crap actor. You are part of the problem, not the solution. Just ask Mel, the solution is final and involves group showers.
Melodie says
Tom J, I thought nobody could ever win my heart away from Stuart Heritage, but now I’m not so sure.
Tammy says
DON’T MISUNDERSTAND…………….To say that I abhor those who drink and drive would be putting it mildly. I in no way condone that kind of behavior from anyone, including “celebrities”. They are just people, who are as accountable as anyone for their actions. I don’t even feel the need to explain my outrage at anyone who would be that negligent and irresponsible to take, not only their own life, but the lives of others for granted, and get behind the wheel of a car after drinking. I don’t think bad mouthing anyone is a redeemable act, but who was there to say for sure what was actually said. Who? the cop? That’s whose word we’re to take as gospel? REALLY??? Not me! They are, for the most part, as untrustworthy as a politician. My point is this……..Bad behavior isn’t enough for me to condemn anyone. If it were, who could survive that kind of looking glass observation?? Who? You? Me? Not likely. So, before the character assassination, look into a mirror and recognize you own heart and ask yourself…..Have I ever done anything, said anything that could or would make me seem like a horrible person? Are you? Think about………..
Kattia says
Stuart Heritage is an idiot. Full of hate and crap. This is a free country, isnt it? If people want to buy a very famous person’s things, let them. Who are you to judge?
When the Beetles stuff gets auctioned, people buy any memorobilia linked to them. It is part of HISTORY – MUSICAL HISTORY.
What is Stuart part of? nothing, just wretched, bitter and twisted.