A prediction – Transformers 3 will be the Citizen Kane of tediously impenetrable films about toy robots.
It’s going to have everything. Explosions. Casual racism. That kid who fouled up the last Indiana Jones film. Hour upon hour of largely indistinguishable giant robots soullessly clanking into each other to the point where you realise that you would have got precisely the same effect from loading up on booze and taking a kaleidoscope to a scrapyard. Everything. Oh, except for Megan Fox.
It’s been announced that Megan Fox won’t be appearing in Transformers 3. But there’s some confusion over whose decision it was. Was Megan Fox sacked from Transformers 3 because she’s not a good enough actor for Michael Bay, or did Megan Fox quit Transformers 3 because she thinks she can do better than a production line film about some fighting robots? Either way, there’s not a great deal to be proud of here.
If Michael Bay was the brains of the Transformers movies, and Shia LaBeouf was the heart, then it unquestionably goes without saying that Megan Fox was the tits. And while you may think that a film’s brains and heart are more important than its tits, you’d be dead wrong. Just look at what Megan Fox brought to the first two Transformers films – countless scenes of her staring vacantly out into space and about 15 slow-motion shots of her bottom. They’re all moments you can’t replicate, at least not without a blow-up sex doll in a pair of children’s hotpants, anyway.
But these are all things that we’ll have to do without in Transformers 3. As of yesterday, Megan Fox will no longer be needed on the picture. But why? That’s where the confusion sets in – some are saying that Michael Bay sacked her, and others are saying that Megan Fox left of her own accord. MTV reports:
It was reported that the actress, who starred in the first two installments of the “Transformers” franchise, wouldn’t be cast in the third picture, set to shoot this summer. A rep for Paramount confirmed to MTV News that the studio didn’t renew Fox’s option. Now, Fox is saying it was she who opted out. “Megan Fox will not be starring in ‘Transformers 3,'” [said] reps. “It was her decision not to return.”
It’s not hard to see why Michael Bay would want Megan Fox off the Transformers franchise. Despite being the only films of hers that anyone actually wants to see, Fox and Bay found themselves in a war of words last year, with Megan comparing Michael to Hitler, Michael telling Megan that she needed to grow up and some crew members wrote a letter telling everyone how stupid Megan was. So it seems like it was this friction that caused Megan Fox to part ways with Transformers, whether it was her decision or not.
But make no mistake, this is a deep loss. Michael Bay will now have to cast another piece of totty for Transformers 3, and there’s a real danger that she’ll be replaced by a better actress. Imagine – all those slow-motion bottom shots completely ruined by the inkling that the bottom’s owner is capable of basic sentient thought. Ugh. Count us out.
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sofie says
I don
Jaded4good says
You don’t really believe they will be looking for acting talent, do you?