Circus by Britney Spears is easily one of the top five most-anticipated squelchpop albums released by a psychiatric patient this year.
But so far there’s been so much kerfuffle about everything surrounding Circus – like the documentaries, the artwork, the tracklisting, the likelihood of Britney Spears going berserk and smearing her genitals up and down a shop window a day after its release – that nobody really knows what Circus by Britney Spears actually sounds like.
Well, we do. And it seems like the classic Britney Spears sound is back – you know, sort of generic and forgettable and not very good. How do we know this? Because all of Circus by Britney Spears is available on the internet. Where on the internet? Why, right after the jump if you close your eyes and believe enough.
Since it’s her great big comeback album – the album where she’s controversially not going to shave all her hair off and run through the streets babbling unintelligible threats in a sub-Madonna British accent while promoting it – Britney Spears has piqued all sorts of interest with her new album Circus.
For instance, Circus is being released on Britney Spears’ birthday? Why is that? Does it signal her rebirth as a recording artist? And why is it called Circus anyway? Is it a reflection of the media attention that Britney Spears has received? Is it because Britney Spears has been made to feel like a performing bear? Is it because Britney Spears can only be kept in one place if there’s a man with a chair and a whip near her at all times? Is it because, instead of rational thought, the only noise going through Britney Spears’ head at any given time is a warped nightmarish version of Entrance Of The Gladiators by Julius Fu?ík?
To be honest we were hoping that some of these questions would be answered by next week’s Britney: For The Record documentary that’s being released to help promote Circus but, since most previews have described the documentary as basically an hour of anguished squealing, that’s not going to happen.
Instead we’ll just have to wait for Britney Spears to release Circus and then pick through it for clues about Britney’s mental state. Or, alternatively, since Britney Spears has decided to stream Circus through imeem for free a week before it comes out, we’ll just do that instead. And you can, too. Here, have a listen…
So it turns out that Circus by Britney Spears sounds like that one ‘N Sync album from seven years ago, then. That’s not necessarily a bad thing – at least seven years ago Britney hadn’t been sent doolally by childbirth, Kevin Federline and multiple appearances on How I Met Your Mother.
If you’re like us, you’re probably finding it quite hard to pick a favourite song on Circus. Not because the songs are all so good – or so bad, for that matter – but because this seems to be Britney’s ‘babble like a mental alien’ album. So, rather than pick a favourite song, we’ve decided to list our top three nonsensical Britney Spears yelps from Circus instead:
3 – Haha hihi haha ho” – If U Seek Amy
2 – “Glayeeass glayeeass glayeeass glayeeass” – Shattered glass
1 – “Oompapa oompapa oompapi oompapi ooh papi ooh papi ooh lammy ooh lappy ooh papi uh ow” – Mmm Papi
You’re welcome.
gir says
Sadly, my pop up blocker will not allow me to see what the ringtone thing does, thus I am forced to imagine having my cellphone bleat at me like a wounded goat.
I guess I could turn it off…but….nah
Igor says
you know, i downloaded the european release with the two best songs on it: amnesia en phonography
Sarah says
Every one of those crap songs sound exactly alike. Okay, so I only listened to three, but that was enough.
Victoria says
I love her she is always on top of the game and won’t stop doing her thing. She inspires me. 10+ for her new record.
LINDA says
I AM SO HAPPY THAT SHE IS BACK. SHE WAS ON MTV LAST NIGTH AND I AM SO GLAD SHE IS BACK
Confidential. says
Is this site like to diss stars? Well i suggest to get a life. If this is what you seriously do in your spare time, its ridiculous. I think Britney Spears is making a great come back and she is obviously making a effort to come back. In fact, she’s my idol. How do you like them apples?
Lets see you guys make a good album. Yeah, i didnt think so.
I love her new album, If you’ve got a problem with that take it up with someone who gives a shit.
Cya Bitches.