Now that Life On Mars has finished, several questions need to be answered: we want to know if Sam Tyler really died, if his coma was real, and whether watching Life On Mars is the reason why we've suddenly become confusingly homophobic.
Because – in the midst of near-universal praise for the final Life On Mars episode this week – a bunch of teachers have decided that Life On Mars is the reason why there's so much homophobic bullying in our schools. Kids apparently find the unreconstructed Life On Mars character Gene Hunt cool, and are aping his homophobic insults in playgrounds up and down the land.
Worse still, it's also been revealed that Life On Mars is affecting our childrens' career choices, with a staggering 82% of GCSE students looking to seek employment as fictional politically incorrect policemen who only exist in an extended dream inside the coma-ridden head of that bloke from Human Traffic when they leave school; a sorry state, we're sure you'll agree.
Children can be so cruel sometimes – constantly scanning their classmates for any signs of difference or weaknesses in order to brutally exploit it at the first chance. Kids might bully those who wear glasses or come from a different ethnic group, or maybe they'll bully pupils who are obviously cooler and more clever than them until the victim grows up to write for a big celebrity gossip website that gets nominated for awards, just so one day they can shove their success back in their bullies' stupid single-parent faces. Um, we heard.
So the last thing that these children need is any encouragement to be homophobic bullies. In the past American Idol and that angry Grey's Anatomy man have both come under fire for their homophobic comments, and now it's the turn of Life On Mars, as BBC News reports:
TV shows such as BBC One's Life on Mars risk sparking homophobic bullying, according to a teachers' union. In Tuesday's final episode the character DCI Gene Hunt used a series of insults including "fairy boy". Chris Keates of the NASUWT believes such language is "worrying" as children may not be taught that using this kind of abuse is wrong… "Our evidence is showing that one of the factors which causes young people to consider suicide is the fact that in schools they are subject to homophobic bullying."
Now, it's worth bearing in mind that Life On Mars – where a policeman gets a bang on the head and ends up in the hard-drinking chauvinistic world of the 1970s Manchester police force – is very obviously a work of fiction, with the Sam Tyler character providing an ironic, eye-rolling, modern-day counterpoint to the racist, sexist and homophobic views of Gene Hunt and the other Life On Mars creations. But don't forget that all children are inherently stupid, so this point may have been lost on them.
Still, though, these accusations of homophobia-fuelling are bound to affect the makers of Life On Mars, who'll no doubt take the message onboard and try and avoid provoking any more anti-gay bullying in the recently-announced sequel show Ashes To Ashes, where DCI Gene Hunt goes to fight crime in the, erm, New Romantic London of the 1980s. Oh.
Whether Life On Mars really is the cause for schoolyard homophobic bullying isn't really the question. Bullying is a serious problem that affects the lives of millions of children, and it needs to be stopped. Because if it isn't stopped we'll end up as a country of Gordon Ramsays, and we'll be jiggered if we're going to put up with that.
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David says
The great irony of all this is that in the 70’s children were children and parents were parents. By 9pm children would be in their bedrooms, if not asleep then reading a comic under the cover of their blankets with a torch for light. The modern liberal age has not only unravelled the bigotry and prejudices of former times but unravelled some important boundaries too. TV at nine o’clock at night is for grown-ups. Parents have the responsibilty to teach their children how to behave and this includes preventing them from exposure to adult elements which undiscerning children will emulate.
tamara says
I have not even watched Life on Mars but David’s comment about children’s influences hits the Mother/Father-Fucking nail on the head.
Put the little fuckers to bed on time. If a BBC Drama can turn your child into a homophobe there is a serious fucking problem with your parenting.
Let’s round up the PARENTS of the racist, homophobic, generally discriminative nasty little bully bastards, stick them all in the Big Brother house and
do that thing where they can’t get eliminated, ever. Big Brother will become a prison for shit parents, funded by advertisers for condoms.
We shall rehabilitate the existing little bully children, they can use Russell Brand as a punching bag, When 1. He is fatally wounded and
2. They have overcome their insecurities, and we are safe in the knowledge that the parents are rotting in big brother hell bigging up Jade’s perfume
and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s politics, society will improve.
Gilbert Wham says
Tamara, I think I love you.
Phsyt says
If there were anti-gay people in the 1970’s then they should be depicted along with everything else. That’s what makes something real. If every programme that tries to reflect some part of history is ‘dolled up’ we’ll have the British sitting down for afternoon dinners and playing charades with the slaves we oppressed, traveling to the ‘new world’ baring gifts and living alongside the inhabitants. Let’s not Americanize our history, let’s depict it as it truly is and be sorry for the bad things we’ve done, be glad for the good things and learn from both.
Ohh.. And the watershed is there for a reason, teachers should know this.